Fonzie - FML

Fonzie

By Anonymous - 28/10/2025 09:00

Today, I was in a crowded elevator and tried to discreetly take a breath mint. The little tin slipped from my hands, bounced off my shoe, and scattered mints everywhere. Everyone stared as I bent over, frantically picking them up, muttering, “I swear I’m usually cool.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 158

You deserved it 300

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Same thing different taste

Butterfingers

By Anonymous - 22/11/2025 12:00

Today, I sneezed so bad in public that I dropped my coffee, kicked it while trying to catch it, and watched it slide dramatically across the floor into someone’s shoe. They gasped like I'd committed a crime. I just whispered, “Sorry” and fled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 151

Stressed out

By Anonymous - 10/03/2025 09:00 - United States - Memphis

Today, I was in a packed elevator when I heard a loud noise. I assumed someone had farted, so I tried to discreetly turn around and hold my breath. To my horror, the loud noise was actually the elevator malfunctioning and dropping a few floors. I made it even more awkward by holding my breath, and the guy next to me asked, “You good?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 204

You deserved it 308

Small talk

By Rob - 24/09/2025 20:00

Today, I was in an elevator with a bunch of people in suits. It was so quiet, I tried to break the ice by joking, “So… who farted?” The doors opened immediately and everyone walked out without a word. I was left alone in my own shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 586

By splitzville - 16/03/2010 20:12 - United States

Today, I noticed a cute girl in the checkout lane at the store. Feeling a little flirtatious, I decided to blow a bubble with my gum to get her attention. I accidentally shot the gum out of my mouth onto the guy next to me, spitting all over myself in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 972

You deserved it 40 891

Classic backfire

By Anonymous - 02/09/2023 04:00

Today, I was in a quiet library, trying to stifle a sneeze. In the process, I let out an embarrassingly loud and dramatic snort that echoed through the room. Heads turned. Many stared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 551

You deserved it 176

Panic on the number 29

By I tried - 05/11/2025 12:00

Today, I sneezed on the bus. My AirPods fell out and rolled under the seat of the person in front of me. I awkwardly reached down to grab them just as the bus hit a bump. I accidentally grabbed the person’s ankle instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 115

Both ends

By Anon - 19/06/2024 12:00 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I was in a meeting when I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to hold it in to avoid making a noise. Instead, I ended up sneeze-imploding so hard that I accidentally farted at the same time. The entire room went silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 142

Shyness alert

By Anonymous - 28/11/2010 08:07 - United States

Today, I went to a very crowded restaurant. Being really shy, I requested to sit in the corner, but instead they placed me in the center of the dinning area. I started to eat my food and got really spaced out. Suddenly I sneeze-farted and everyone turned to look at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 076

You deserved it 7 207

By Anonymous - 27/06/2015 19:58

Today, I wore flip-flops to work. Just as I walked onto the elevator, they made a sound very close to that of a fart. About 10 seconds later, some asshole let out a silent but deadly fart, earning me a bunch of disgusted looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 485

You deserved it 4 889

Keep moving

By Jerem88 - 06/08/2024 09:00 - United States - Nassua

Today, as I was stood on an escalator, my shoelace got caught in the step. Panicking, I tried to pull it out, but my shoe came off. I had to awkwardly hop back down the escalator to retrieve it while everyone around me in the mall watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 342

You deserved it 154

Next

Top comments

Hangryko 31

Tuesday 28 October 2025 17:22

Why did you have to be discreet about it?

BurnInDemonFire 35

Friday 31 October 2025 0:50

People who say they're cool aren't cool. Unless you mean you're somewhere between warm and cold.

Comments

Hangryko 31

Tuesday 28 October 2025 17:22

Why did you have to be discreet about it?

BurnInDemonFire 35

Friday 31 October 2025 0:50

People who say they're cool aren't cool. Unless you mean you're somewhere between warm and cold.

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The Top

Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 717

You deserved it 6 836

Today, I had to work late. Due to delayed trains and a missed connection, it was almost midnight when I finally got home. When I walked into the bedroom, I found my girlfriend wearing sexy lingerie and fast asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 011

You deserved it 2 605

Today, my ballet teacher decided to tell us, in detail, about the nasty staph infection she has on her boob. The whole time, she was scratching it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 423

You deserved it 2 820

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 072

You deserved it 5 996

Today, my boyfriend said that no, I'm not allowed to get glasses and then accused me of wanting to see other men. No, I just want to see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 013

You deserved it 204

Today, I'm still awake from not sleeping last night. The reason? At 2am I was in my garage when all of a sudden someone's phone went off outside. I live in the country and no one should be out there. Looks like I'm not sleeping for the next few weeks. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 15 720

You deserved it 1 185