Intimacy Fetishes come in all sizes

Fetishes come in all sizes

unboned - 11/05/2016 17:30 - United States - Katy

Today, my boyfriend got a raging boner while looking around at a gun store. He hasn't had any sexual interest in me in months. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

In the mood

Anonymous - 15/05/2025 14:00 - Canada

Today, I came home early from work and caught my boyfriend jerking off. When I tried to flirt and say I could help him, he said he wasn't in the mood anymore. He hasn't touched me in months. FML

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Booming

Anonymous - 26/04/2013 22:22 - United States - Arvada

Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML

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princess - 12/04/2014 21:01 - United States - San Marcos

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky, and I whispered that I love him. He immediately lost his boner, and a few minutes later "remembered" he had to be somewhere else. FML

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Not fair

Anonymous - 03/11/2021 17:00

Today, my boyfriend is quite capable of getting an erection. He gets one when we watch porn, when I talk dirty to him and do handjobs or blowjobs, but the moment I get naked for the main event, he goes as soft as a boiled noodle. I haven’t been properly shagged in 6 months. FML

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So frustratiiiiing

Anonymous - 26/06/2022 12:00

Today, I caught my boyfriend masturbating, again. Meanwhile we haven’t had sex in weeks. FML

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Anonycock - 06/01/2016 17:15 - Qatar - Doha

Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML

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Confusing

here's a giant baby - 05/10/2025 03:00

Today, my boyfriend told me he was horny. Since it has been a while, I offered to help. He sighed and complained that he didn't feel attractive and didn't want sex. I laughed and asked if he grew a vagina overnight. He got mad and stomped off. FML

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BustedEgo - 23/03/2014 05:31 - United States - Norway

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't know what it's like to be turned on. Apparently, I've been doing something wrong for the past two years. FML

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Can't be arsed, to be honest

whatamidoingwrong - 22/10/2022 16:00

Today, my boyfriend told me that he’s no longer interested in sex with me, as he just can't be bothered. FML

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Anonymous - 14/03/2010 13:19 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me the reason he can't keep an erection while we have sex is that I'm not attractive enough. FML

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TheGolfGTI 24

Thursday 12 May 2016 0:37

*Looks at location* Yup.

EnderNutt 16

Thursday 12 May 2016 0:36

Have you tried polishing his pistol once in a while?

TheEASON 3

Thursday 12 May 2016 5:23

Wouldn't be American if he didn't!

FastTurtle9 14

Thursday 12 May 2016 5:26

Dump him before he cheats on you with his sister.

LoZelda123 20

Thursday 12 May 2016 6:00

that's pretty serious...you better talk with him and see what's up.

sturschaedel 27

Thursday 12 May 2016 6:07

Run! He was probably contemplating where to bury you...

FMLintheanus 12

Thursday 12 May 2016 6:07

looking at the location, it's probably because you aren't his 2nd cousin...

Glamisbound 14

Thursday 12 May 2016 6:27

Freedom Boner

JustASpectator 8

Thursday 12 May 2016 6:48

Just America things, everyday problems...

Catdragon 40

Thursday 12 May 2016 7:35

this is when you bring a gun into the bedroom or dress up as a sexy rifle

Lolipop2241030 14

Thursday 12 May 2016 7:40

I Gotta Girl you wanna meet her Her name is Nine Milimeter I gotta milimeter ready to go off any minute so you feel it ;)

samwilliams800 28

Thursday 12 May 2016 8:01

Only in Texas.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my girlfriend guilted me into roleplaying as Justin Bieber before and during sex. I now feel physically ill. FML

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Today, after months of getting shockingly more action from my girlfriend then at any point in our last 6 months together, I found out I’m getting more because she cut back on her formerly unmentioned husband’s “access.” Apparently, he refuses to lose weight. FML

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Today, I brought a cute guy back from the bar to have sex. He was drunk, so he had trouble getting it up, and I said jokingly, "You need to work on that." We fell asleep, and I woke up the next morning to him gone and a note that said, "You need to work on not farting in your sleep." FML

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Today, I got a bird as a pet. I thought it would be funny to put it on my head and take a picture. When the flash went off the bird flew off my head and pooped at the same time. You could see it in the picture. FML

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Today, I was taking a shower for the first time in my new apartment. The shower head broke off the wall and slammed onto my head, while spraying water everywhere. I tried to stop the water, but only stopped the cold and got burnt by the hot. FML

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Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

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