Intimacy: Drunken antics

Drunken antics

By Anonymous - 28/07/2015 06:44 - United States

Today, after a 4 or 5 month-long dry spell, I woke up next to an amazing and beautiful woman. Neither of us were wearing pants. She looked me in the eyes and said, "Did I piss the bed?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 301

You deserved it 3 403

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Same thing different taste

Completely wet

By Anonymous - 27/02/2020 20:00

Today, I was drinking too much and I had to pee constantly, so I went to bed without my girlfriend. Hours later she woke me up wanting sex, but she realized that I'd pissed the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 751

You deserved it 2 074

By Anonymous - 02/02/2011 21:47 - United States

Today, I woke up from my honeymoon to discover the love of my life is a bed wetter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 720

You deserved it 9 450

By thanks. - 28/01/2017 04:00

Today, my girlfriend of over a year woke me up at 4:30 in the morning by sticking her hand down my pants. She immediately stopped when I was awake enough to reciprocate and said, "I couldn't sleep. I was bored. Talk to me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 983

You deserved it 830

By Jonathan - 13/10/2008 08:27

Today, I woke up next to a beautiful, half-naked brunette in my bed. Two minutes later, my alarm clock woke me up for real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 423

You deserved it 19 728

By Adam - 16/01/2017 08:00

Today, my wife decided to end our dry spell of four months and started dry humping and kissing me in bed. Things were going well until she orgasmed from the activity and declared that she was too tired to do any more, rolled over, and fell asleep. Five months or bust. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 826

You deserved it 1 008

Don't you want me baby?

By Ugh - 05/12/2024 21:00 - Romania

Today, I was dead tired and just wanted sleep, so I jumped into bed the second the day's chores were done. Of fucking course, this was the day my fiancée decided to end our eight-week dry spell and came in wearing sexy lingerie. I couldn't stay hard due to exhaustion, and now she's been crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 616

You deserved it 180

How romantic

By SmokedSalmon - 13/02/2009 00:54 - United States

Today, I woke up next to a slumbering girl I had just met the night before. She had all the covers on top of her and I was cold. Not only was I cold, but the sheets were really cold. So I got up and realized she'd peed a drunken night's worth of beer all over my sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 253

You deserved it 43 605

By feelthelove - 02/11/2009 18:08 - United States

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find a very gorgeous girl in my bed. Her only words to me were "did anything happen?" When I replied yes she began to cry. Nice to know I was someone's rock bottom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 633

You deserved it 5 622

Triggered

By Ouch - 06/10/2025 20:00

Today, after a long dry spell, I spent a day treating my wife, ending with a full body massage. She was wearing only panties, breathing heavily, and spread her legs, so I reached for her crotch to finger her… and she kicked me in the head so hard I fell off the bed and split my head open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 546

You deserved it 177

Giving

By nt121511 - 03/08/2016 22:40

Today, I woke up after a long night of taking care of my drunken husband. I guess I should feel lucky I don't have a generic, "He wet the bed in his sleep" story, and instead have a unique, "He got out of bed and peed on me" story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 150

You deserved it 1 158

zadok24 11

Tuesday 28 July 2015 18:27

Well, at least it's not dry anymore

Attacksloth 33

Tuesday 28 July 2015 18:28

Well at least you know you can still make women wet for you.

Comments

jakers8424 18

Tuesday 28 July 2015 18:36

Did she

a1_z9 10

Tuesday 28 July 2015 18:43

I hope you acted like it was no big deal at all and helped her clean up. Because then there's a high chance she'll love you forever.

Arcanel 18

Tuesday 28 July 2015 19:22

Wow brother idk what to say to that. On one hand you most likely slept with a gorgeous woman, on the other hand she might not be able to hold her bladder all that well through the night. I'd take it as a confidence booster that you got some action, but maybe not go for her again? Best of luck man !

CaptMacLeod 45

Wednesday 28 October 2015 10:48

So OP woke up without pants, and so did she. This implies there may have been alcohol involved. Thus full bladders. Plus compressing said bladders. Possibly forgetting to go pee or passing out before you could. Accidents happen. I honestly would have helped her clean up (if she did, that was never clarified) and asked her out to breakfast...then maybe out again for a more sober evening. If you don't make the situation horribly uncomfortable for her, there is a lot of already-broken ice.

trey600rr 22

Tuesday 28 July 2015 19:26

when life gives you lemons, make lemonade ! Invest in a moisture barrier for your mattress and invite her back over!

fmlsams 27

Tuesday 28 July 2015 19:41

Look on the bright side - you still woke up next to an amazing and beautiful woman!

Feklfekl2222 32

Tuesday 28 July 2015 19:57

If she's an amazing woman, who's helped you end your dry spell and you otherwise like, maybe overlook the bed wetting? Provided it's not a joke. If it's true she probably can't help it and it's not her fault