Drugs, Farts and Miscellaneous: Dope

Dope

By valarmorgoolies - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Binghamton

Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 184

You deserved it 3 099

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Same thing different taste

Sometimes the truth is too weird to believe

By fml9124 - 06/06/2021 14:01

Today, my mom grounded me for smoking cigarettes. I'm 13. I don't smoke. She said she smelled it on my clothes. I laughed and said I was in the basement, and used one of my dad's cig's to simulate a house on fire on my train layout. She didn't believe me. Honestly, I wouldn't believe that story either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 849

You deserved it 548

By lehonX9 - 06/06/2015 09:11 - Germany - Hanover

Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 847

You deserved it 9 736

By hypercrite dad - 19/09/2014 18:34 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 171

You deserved it 15 552

By Mellamononeyobiz - 13/01/2016 02:10 - United States - Hooper

Today, my mom smoked pot in my sister's bedroom while I was at school. When I noticed the stench, she blamed the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 171

You deserved it 1 637

By Anonymous - 28/09/2013 21:28 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, in a fit of jealousy over my recent muscle growth, my brother told our mom that I've only been going to the gym so I could smoke weed with my friends. She believed him and grounded me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 694

You deserved it 2 957

Convoluted

By Anonymous - 14/11/2023 04:00

Today, while at home, I accidentally let out a big, loud fart near my dad. When he asked what the noise was, I blamed it on the cat. I remembered too late that we don't have a cat. My dad caught on quickly and grounded me for lying in front of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 143

You deserved it 742

Stoner

By Alyssa - 13/02/2012 00:01 - United States

Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 850

You deserved it 83 249

By ironyisabitch - 02/06/2012 05:43 - United States - Rohnert Park

Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 354

You deserved it 3 092

Smoke 'em if you've got 'em

By Dumbweed - 28/08/2009 04:42 - United States

Today, my mom told me she was getting tired of the smell of marijuana in the house. So I confessed and told her I'll never bring it home again. She was talking about my neighbors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 258

You deserved it 67 751

By Anonymous - 08/11/2014 20:36 - United States - Deland

Today, I tried to blackmail my dad by threatening to tell mom about the bong and weed he keeps hidden in the garage. Turns out she already knew about it and neither of them give a shit. Now I'm grounded until the new year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 986

You deserved it 38 838

tykatdesigns 13

Saturday 7 February 2015 8:28

Must of been a pretty dank fart yo

maximus_prime 24

Saturday 7 February 2015 8:23

Maybe she thought it smelt like good shit.

Comments

zachery44 5

Saturday 7 February 2015 19:52

If you do smoke weed and enough of it. Your farts can start to smell like weed

WingedLovely27 20

Saturday 7 February 2015 20:21

Props to the user name....and farts are evil when they aren't entertaining.

tehdarkness 21

Saturday 7 February 2015 21:05

If you don't smoke weed then insist on a test to earn her trust back!

Ardeku 15

Saturday 7 February 2015 21:10

I wish my person's farts smelled like weed xD That's definitely a positive thing.

StickyPickles 33

Saturday 7 February 2015 21:47

Dank stank ftw

angryo5trich 13

Saturday 7 February 2015 21:50

Tell her to drug test you

Solano2580 24

Saturday 7 February 2015 22:06

Tell her to find proof of it, and how she would know how it smells like, perhaps she's been smoking weed and decided to blame it on you before she got found out