Intimacy, Sex, Dogs and Relatable: Dog people

Dog people

By anonymous - 12/12/2021 10:59 - United States

Today, my dog-obsessed wife complained that we never have sex anymore. Call me crazy but constantly hearing her say how dogs are better than husbands, sleeping with three huge dogs in bed every night, and watching her shove her tongue in the dogs’ mouths doesn’t exactly whip me into a sexual frenzy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 677

You deserved it 269

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Same thing different taste

Justice for Doggy Boy the dog!

By Anonymous - 15/08/2021 16:01

Today, I hate my wife’s dog. It destroys everything in the house, it destroys my garden, she barks constantly in her bed, and when I walk her she tries to attack every living thing she sees, but the instant I talk to my wife about her behaviour, I get yelled at for being mean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 262

You deserved it 179

Dogs rule

By Anonymous - 10/05/2019 04:00

Today, my wife kicked me out of my own bed to go and sleep on the sofa because the dog was whining, and would only stop if she was allowed to sleep on my side of the bed. My wife would rather sleep with the dog than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 909

You deserved it 343

Bitches, amirite?

By Sergeant Bri - 16/07/2023 09:00 - United States - Norwood

Today, my dog is much too fond of barking at me loudly and at length for no reason. So is my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 619

You deserved it 298

Isn't there someone you forgot to ask?

By Anonymous - 22/10/2022 02:00

Today, I've come to the realization that my girlfriend's mini Australian Shepherd dictates everything, from a hug and kiss goodbye, to when we try to have sex. The worst part is she won't do anything about it. Looks like another night with the damn dog between us… FML

I agree, your life sucks 870

You deserved it 296

His little lipstick

By poopface82 - 06/07/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, I was exhausted after three solid weeks of having my kids. After I got home, my dog decided to get intimate with his stuffed animal toy. I now know what my dog’s dong looks like, and that he’s gotten more action in the last two months than I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 278

You deserved it 228

Don't give up

By Frustrated - 24/08/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, my wife complained that our sex life is too boring and vanilla. I have spent the last two years suggesting ideas to keep it interesting: S&M, swinging, roleplay, cosplay, public play, new toys, you name it. All I ever hear is, "Eww you pervert, that is disgusting and sick, how dare you even mention that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 112

Bad sex

By Undersexed - 14/09/2016 22:01 - United States - Washington

Today, my husband complained about my lack of sex drive. Gee, I wonder why, Mr. "Always comes first by humping for a whopping 30 seconds." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 029

You deserved it 2 467

By Anon. - 05/05/2016 21:00 - United States - Allentown

Today, like every other day my boyfriend and I try and have sex, his dog cried and whined outside of his room until we stopped. She does this all the time and it kills the mood instantly. I can't have sex because of a toy poodle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 720

You deserved it 2 374

Lonely, so lonely…

By Anonymous - 23/04/2022 14:00

Today, as I watched my male and female dogs frolic, play, and lick each other, it occurred to me there's more love and romance between them than I have ever had in my whole damned life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 793

You deserved it 178

Deflection

By Richard - 25/06/2012 03:03 - United States - Uxbridge

Today, I was talking with my wife of five years, and I gave her a few hints about wanting kids. After our talk, she looked at me completely serious and said, "Yeah yeah, kids are great and all, but can't we just get you a dog?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 502

You deserved it 6 221

Marcella1016 31

Sunday 12 December 2021 20:26

I have never ever understood how/why people let dogs lick them in their mouths. They lick their balls, eat shit, and everything in between. And I’ve seen videos of people letting their dogs lick all over their babies’ faces and in their mouths too. Like wtf guys?? 🤮🤮🤮