Sex, Boredom and Intimacy: Bored stiff - FML

Bored stiff

By RJB - 29/07/2011 02:48 - United States

Spicy

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I got so bored, I made a "to do" list for the week in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 110

You deserved it 12 629

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Time to shop

By Anon - 24/03/2021 00:30

Spicy

Today, I made my whole grocery list out in my head. While having sex with my fiancee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 013

You deserved it 473

Actor's Studio

By darthmilfious - 31/03/2010 07:56 - France

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 693

You deserved it 69 184

By Fml - 12/04/2013 05:05 - United States - Lynn

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex; I know that some women are great multitaskers, but I'm guessing it was a bad sign when she started to go over the shopping list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 231

You deserved it 14 630

Snoozefest

By notsogood - 08/11/2013 20:02 - United States

Spicy

Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 556

You deserved it 19 421

By Bruja5 - 07/02/2010 05:15 - United States

Spicy

Today, I thought about my boyfriend and all the things we used to do together years ago. Today, I also spent the day doing my now husband's laundry and watching him sit on the couch with his hand inside his underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 403

You deserved it 6 166

Honest

By fml1977 - 04/03/2010 06:43 - United States

Spicy

Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 406

You deserved it 8 022

Not my bucket list

By what the fuck babe - 14/06/2024 09:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend showed me his bucket list. Normal bucket lists are beautiful, full of sweet things like, "See Paris with my wife" or, "Learn to play the piano". His was all childish destructive bullshit like, "Throw dynamite out of a car window" or, "Get my ass eaten out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 361

Mind games

By LittleRed - 05/03/2012 08:45 - United States

Spicy

Today, I got more turned on by the idea of sex with my boyfriend than actually doing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 114

You deserved it 4 282

Bored

By Anonymous - 05/12/2022 14:00

Spicy

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend felt the need to ask me if I could get my ladder and clean the ceiling, because it looked dusty with a spiderweb in the corner. I didn’t realise I was so boring in bed that she had the time to examine the ceiling and plan my chore list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 010

You deserved it 519

Man City

By EpicBunBun - 10/05/2017 18:00

Spicy

Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, I thought he went to change the music on his phone. He'd actually stopped mid-action just to check sports scores. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 296

You deserved it 724

Next

Top comments

rd_404 0

Friday 29 July 2011 9:02

1. Not Him

cicpjaky 6

Friday 29 July 2011 9:08

list: 1. buy BIG vibrator. 2. get a BF that performs better. 3. get milk and eggs

Comments

mn20 1

Saturday 30 July 2011 2:25

Time for a new sex toy.

krissydreams 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 3:05

haha maybe get him a book s3x for dummies :P

falloutboylove7 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 3:27

obv your boyfriend is terrible at sex lol

Friaza 29

Saturday 30 July 2011 19:51

Clearly the OP is overweight/lazy and wasn't even moving. Atleast her boyfriend tried. Nobody wants a lazy woman who only knows spends her time coming up with bitchy stories to tel her friends.

AmethystRain 20

Tuesday 2 August 2011 21:47

I'll agree with her being lazy, but where does "overweight" come into the picture?

jren207 24

Saturday 30 July 2011 3:43

I'm guessing "having sex with boyfriend" won't be on that list?

Carlie_McCartney 1

Saturday 30 July 2011 3:54

Sounds like my kinda guy(: rofl just kidding. that sucks. sorry D:

roobin302 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 4:19

he must not be as great as i am ! lol

isaiahfiegel 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 4:24

lol

Brotallicus 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 4:47

To Do #1 have an orgasim

daylight123 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 4:55

shit tht sucks similar shit ha happened to me before wished I was with a dif guy :p

ilovegeorgie 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 5:08

wow you're a total bitch. just break up with him if he doesn't satisfy you... smdh

10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

The Top

Today, on a train, I nearly choked while sleeping with my mouth wide open. The little old lady sitting opposite me was entertaining herself by throwing little pieces of balled-up tin foil into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 997

You deserved it 7 768

Today, while dog sitting, the dog peed on the carpet. There was a bottle of cleaning spray on the counter so I sprayed the spot. Turns out that spray was Clorox Bleach. Now their carpet is bright orange. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 328

You deserved it 27 398

Today, my batshit crazy coworker told me that she wants to hear my skin sizzle. I'm afraid to go to work now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 249

You deserved it 1 565

Today, I was vomiting after an evening of drinking. My boyfriend was kind enough to hold my hair back while I spewed chunks into the toilet. Apparently he got bored though, because his hands made their way down to my boobs, which he started jiggling while singing Jingle Bells. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 959

You deserved it 29 686

Today, I witnessed my husband hocking a loogie into his hand, then throwing it into the trash can and continuing to make our sandwiches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 315

You deserved it 3 233

Today, I was in the theatre watching a movie. I leaned my head back to relax. Suddenly, I hear this sneeze behind me and then I feel "rain" pouring down on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 993

You deserved it 2 827