Friends, Birthday and Dentist: Birthday Girl

Birthday Girl

By Anonymous - 14/05/2009 17:43 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. I got just three calls all day. The first one was my fiancé, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancé for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office, to sing me a happy birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414 137

You deserved it 21 916

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Same thing different taste

By andi0804 - 05/08/2009 01:33 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. The only call I received was from my stalker, who sang happy birthday with a japanese accent and asked if he could be my "special present". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 894

You deserved it 3 589

By dentistftw - 08/08/2009 04:06 - United States

Today, it's my 22nd birthday. The only person who remembered was the dentist who sent me a postcard in the mail. I stopped going to him four years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 993

You deserved it 2 905

By Anonymous - 24/06/2011 23:36 - United Kingdom

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend told me he was too busy studying for finals, but that he'd take me out another day instead. He later drunk-dialled me from a party demanding a lift back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 161

You deserved it 4 249

Ignore! Ignore!

By Anonymous - 12/05/2023 22:00 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I was at a job interview when my phone started ringing. It was my mom, so I quickly hit "Ignore", which was probably for the best since she was obviously drunk. She left a voicemail in which she sang "Happy Birthday" to me. It's not my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 783

You deserved it 135

Great timing, dude

By misswhiskers - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, it's my birthday. I woke up to a text message from my boyfriend, breaking up with me. When I commented on his impeccably bad timing, he admitted he'd forgotten it was my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 515

You deserved it 3 446

A nickname that sticks

By Anonymous - 24/03/2009 16:18 - United States

Today, I was at my friend's house celebrating his 16th birthday. I couldn't find my phone so I asked my friend's girlfriend if I could borrow her phone to see if I could hear mine ringing. I dialed my number, only to find she had my number saved in her phone as "ASS FACE #3". FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 886

You deserved it 10 537

Are you OK?

By Anonymous - 02/12/2025 09:00

Today, I answered a call I thought was from my friend and opened with, “What do you want, fuck face?” It was actually my dentist confirming my appointment. There was a long pause before she politely repeated my name to ensure they had the right patient. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41

You deserved it 480

By EKG - 11/02/2009 23:33 - United States

Today, after being in the hospital for two days with no visitors, I got my first phone call. It was my best friend asking if he could date my ex-girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 749

You deserved it 2 598

New BFF unlocked

By Jeremy - 28/07/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I called my sister to wish her a happy birthday. I sang the Birthday song off-key but in a spirited way, before she interrupted to say, “My birthday was yesterday.” She then added, “By the way, your ex remembered, and I think we're besties now.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 133

You deserved it 516

By Anonymous - 20/11/2010 05:49 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. The only person that remembered was my creepy stalker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 198

You deserved it 3 300

xyzstephzyx 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 23:04

best friend...? Yeah, right. punch her in the mouth, that *****. happy birthday!

Aetius_fml 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 23:04

At least you have a cool dentist

Comments

nicktrippy 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 23:18

bullshit

OMGQueenB 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 23:19

Oh I'm so sorry :( Happy birthday though. I hope you have a better one next year !

unlucky91 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 23:20

Well, at least you have a really nice Dentist! but yeah .. FYL

tWitt3rBuG 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 23:20

Happy Birthday! Atleast, from today you can start afresh without those crap people in your life! All the best. O and pawn the ring but tell him that you gave it to your best friend to give back to him. Assuming he doesn't know she called you!

TheLittlestNinja 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 23:21

rough birthday... Im sorry. happy birthday though

lalala29 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 23:21

ohh wow sorry to hear that... =/ what a "best friend" .. .. cheer up though.. its your birthdayy !! Hope u have a happy one :] !!

lacey_123 1

Thursday 14 May 2009 23:21

the third one was good... im really sry happy birthday anyway! hope things get better cuz that was rough!

dontknowaname 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 23:22

wow. some best friend. pshhh. and wow. ur dentist? maybe u should marry him.

dontknowaname 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 23:22

wow. some best friend. pshhh. and wow. ur dentist? maybe u should marry him.

atxmike 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 23:22

Here's the law in most states: engagement rings are gifts given on condition of marriage. If YOU broke the engagement, you must return the ring. However, if he broke it off, then the ring is forfeit.