Bad hair day By Faithy - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States Today, I got flustered because my hair straightener wasn't working. It took me fifteen minutes to realize I hadn't turned it on. FML I agree, your life sucks 9 920 You deserved it 49 042 Share Tweet Share
Today, my son’s kindergarten teacher asked her students to describe their dad with a word or an expression. In the midst of “kind” dads, “hug” dads and “kiss” dads, I'm the “whisky dad”. FML I agree, your life sucks 518 You deserved it 261
Today, I ate an entire pack of breath mints in preparation for a date. Instead of giving me fresh breath, it gave me a terrible case of diarrhea. FML I agree, your life sucks 13 238 You deserved it 47 383
Today, I was driving my twin daughters to school, when I accidentally honked my horn. I told them it was an accident, then one of my kids said she already knew, because I didn't yell "ASSHOLE!" afterwards. FML I agree, your life sucks 11 410 You deserved it 41 205
Today, I leaned back and bumped into one of my mom's plants in the window. The good thing was that I caught it before it fell and shattered. The bad thing was that my mom likes to keep cactii in the window. I can still feel thorns I haven't managed to pluck out yet. FML I agree, your life sucks 29 928 You deserved it 4 561
Today, one of my friends got upset with me because I’m leaving our high school. The high school I have been bullied at for the past 3 years. FML I agree, your life sucks 913 You deserved it 104
Today, my 14 year-old daughter threatened to run away. Why? We live in southern Arizona. In the last week, she's found a dead tarantula and a live scorpion in her bedroom. In a couple of weeks it will be rattlesnake season. She's not liking the desert much anymore, where even the plants want to hurt you. FML I agree, your life sucks 967 You deserved it 502
dumbass.
you spelled blonde wrong :)