Pregnancy

No warning

By daddy-to-be - 20/03/2009 21:04 - United States

Today, as I was getting my mail, I noticed I'd received a free coupon from a baby supply store, saying, "Congratulations on your pregnancy!" Thinking it was a mistake, I showed my girlfriend, who I live with. All she had to say was, "Surprise!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 149

You deserved it 17 345

Not the expected outcome

By Thanksiguess - 19/02/2018 15:00

Today, I told my dad that I'm pregnant. He shook his head and said, sadly, "What a waste. You're way too young to throw your life away like this." Silly me; I was worried that at 46 I might be too old for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 027

You deserved it 406

The struggle is real

By Anonymous - 06/07/2022 02:00

Today, after my girlfriend of a year got accidentally pregnant, we were discussing it, and she only just now revealed she thinks vaccines are an evil conspiracy between hospitals and drug companies, and she’s carrying my baby. The next 18 years with this mad woman are not going to go well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 820

You deserved it 721

Dickwad move

By solo it is - 01/10/2023 04:00 - United States - Hesperia

Today, I’m 8 months pregnant. The father says the he won’t come to any more appointments, the baby shower, or even the birth unless his new girlfriend is allowed to be in the room when I deliver. I said absolutely not, so he told me to never call him again, and blocked me. They’ve been together for 2 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 099

You deserved it 270

A rock and a hard place

By Anonymous - 10/11/2021 19:59

Today, despite being on the pill and always using condoms, I'm pregnant. I told my boyfriend I want to keep it, hoping he wanted to keep it too. He told me he hopes I enjoy being a single parent, because he absolutely does not want it, but knows I’ll never get an abortion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 686

You deserved it 639

Teenagers…

By Anonymous - 09/04/2022 10:00

Today, my 17 year-old is pregnant and I was fit to be furious, until my wife steamrollered over me to get to her, hugging her, and crying and how we’ll all raise it together as a big family. We can’t afford another baby. The daddy better be paying us something, or I’m gone kill him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 144

You deserved it 264

Spreading

By Anonymous - 16/07/2021 18:01

Today, I found out that my best friend and I are pregnant. This would be much more exciting if my boyfriend wasn’t the father of both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 427

You deserved it 179

The fertility dance worked

By UnexpectedMom - 31/12/2020 02:01

Today, I'm currently 9 months pregnant with my second child within 3 years. I was told by 4 different doctors over the course of the past 5 years that I'm incapable of having kids, due to a medical condition that affects my reproductive system. FML

I agree, your life sucks 756

You deserved it 378

Bad time for a joke

By Demotivation - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Germany

Today, I learned that when a heavily-pregnant friend asks about my progress with the baby socks I promised to knit, it's rather unwise to tell her, "Not to worry, we're set even if it comes out with a few feet too many." She's still crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 299

You deserved it 12 854

Trapped

By Anonymous - 05/07/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, it's been a week since my girl told me she's pregnant and I fled town in a panic. I realized how badly I fucked up and called her, begging to come back. When I showed up at her house, her brothers kicked my ass and threw me in the street, promising to wring me dry for child support. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 1 148

Sticky situation

By borderlinebaddie - 04/11/2021 14:00

Today, my grandmother, who I live with, turned the heat off in our house because she went through my private, personal notes on how I wanted to spend my paycheck, and she was mad that I used some of it to help the father of my not-yet-born child, who's struggling financially, make his car payments. FML

I agree, your life sucks 988

You deserved it 290

Creeped out

By AITA - 09/05/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, my sister will be giving birth to my niece any day now. She repeatedly insists on showing me her heavily pregnant belly. I don't know how to tell her that I find pregnancy bellies repulsive without sounding like a dick. I don't even know why this is. I just don't like them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 166

Major red flag

By notpregnant - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Italy

Today, I woke up with a pillow under my t-shirt. Turns out my boyfriend wanted to "see if I would look hot even when pregnant". We've been dating for three weeks now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 000

You deserved it 5 382

Tonight, on Euphoria…

By Anonymous - 08/03/2022 00:01

Today, my 15 year-old just told me she's pregnant and she isn’t sure which guy she slept with is the dad. I can’t even deal with this, she's 15 so I’m sure sex is illegal at her age, plus which boyfriend? How many does she have? I’ve been sober for 26 years, but god I want a scotch right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 375

You deserved it 308

How can I make everything about me?

By Anonymous - 16/07/2025 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, our pregnancy announcement was ruined by my dad who thought it would be funny to grab my boyfriend while yelling, "You got my daughter pregnant, boy! I’m going to kill you!" It wasn’t funny, there was just an awkward silence, and now this precious moment is something I’d rather forget. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 189

Not a clown car

By Anonymous - 17/08/2023 10:00

Today, after we had our daughter on purpose, then had twin girls by accident, my husband was going to get a vasectomy while I also decided to get my tubes tied as an extra precaution. At the appointment, they did a scan to make sure I’m not pregnant already… BOOM! I’m 7 weeks pregnant with twins again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 480

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 12/04/2024 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my 58 year-old mother told me she’s having a baby. Apparently she hasn’t started menopause yet, but assumed from her age she wouldn’t get pregnant when she started seeing a man she goes to bingo with. 58 years-old. My little brother/sister is going to be 36 years younger than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 567

You deserved it 93

Gold digger

By Anonymous - 26/05/2023 06:00 - United States - Moscow

Today, I asked my boyfriend to help me with groceries, since the last of my money went to last week's groceries. His response was to start a fight, then tell me it's my fault my daughter acts the way she does, which is when he finally got me to break down and cry. I'm pregnant with his kid, and I also pay 90% of our bills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 023

You deserved it 1 008

Don't assume, etc.

By Anonymous - 20/10/2023 18:00

Today, in the gyno's waiting room, I was the only non-pregnant woman. One of the women made a remark saying, "Wow look at you, the only one not experiencing morning sickness, gas, and cramps" and laughed. Little did she know I just had my third miscarriage last week and would die to experience those things. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 323

You deserved it 152

Spoke too soon

By Anonymous - 31/10/2021 17:00

Today, we're right now at the hospital because my sister had a miscarriage. Last night I announced on Instagram that I was going to be aunt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 989

You deserved it 515

Side piece

By Hayat Hubby - 19/11/2022 16:00 - United States

Today, my side piece told me that she’s pregnant with her husband’s baby. She refuses to break up with me, even though I'm no longer interested. She keeps crying and telling me, “It’s your fault!” I didn’t even know she was married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 423

You deserved it 2 140

Awesome

By Jadwiga - 27/08/2025 20:00 - Czechia - Prague

Today, when my boyfriend came home, I was crying and told him I was pregnant. His immediate response was, "Awesome! Pregnant girls are always horny and we won't need protection for the next few months!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 189

Kids these days…

By Anonymous - 10/11/2022 18:00

Today, I became a grandmother. At 44 years-old. My son is 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 001

You deserved it 317

Not again

By Anonymous - 17/10/2023 20:00

Today, I announced my third pregnancy to my parents, thinking they’d be excited. Instead, they gave me 30 days to find a new place, saying they refuse to raise “any more of your children.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 2 830

Breaking news

By Noname - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to tell my super-conservative parents that I had just gone to visit the boyfriend I'm not supposed to have so that I could tell him I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 507

You deserved it 57 957

Trapped

By FamilyIsTheBest - 11/03/2026 20:00

Today, I am forced to throw a baby shower for my entitled and witch of a sister in law. She and her husband have been making my life living hell for more than 10 years now. What their hellspawn would do, God only knows. No, I can't walk away. It's a cultural thing. I'm trapped until death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 141

Not so funny after all

By oops - 21/09/2013 01:30 - United States - Wichita Falls

Today, being the prank couple that we are, I decided to mess with my husband. When he got off work, I said, "The lady from your office called and said she was pregnant. From you." He immediately broke down crying, and said, "I knew it." Turns out, my fetus already has a sibling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 537

You deserved it 7 137

Dude, step up your game

By happycow122 - 20/06/2015 20:54 - United States - Lafayette

Today, I realized I'm pregnant by a man who won't even accept my Facebook friend request. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 124

You deserved it 20 452

Rollercoaster

By Anonymous - 05/03/2010 12:54 - United States

Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 808

You deserved it 3 668

Judgemental

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Boston

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 554

You deserved it 7 850

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Money Transportation Annoying Miscellaneous Parents Pregnancy Health Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Relatable Anger Hospital Periods Parenting Kids Drunk Love Marriage Family Awkward NSFW Sex Intimacy Relationship advice Stalker ACAB Cops Mysterious Airport Cars

The Top

Today, at the gym, some muscle head idiot started yelling at the treadmill for not going fast enough, and I muttered "roid rage". Apparently said roids give him superhuman hearing, because he heard me from the other side of the room, and threatened to kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 817

You deserved it 9 548

Today, I asked my husband, of only a year, why we don't have sex anymore. He said it's because he masturbates. When I asked how often he did it, he replied "Every day that we don't have sex..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 181

You deserved it 9 788

Today, I grabbed the nearest plastic bag in my bedroom when my boyfriend and I left for Walmart so I could return a pair of shorts. When the cashier dumped the contents of the bag onto the counter at customer service, my shorts and a used condom fell out. It was the longest return of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 621

You deserved it 55 973

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me in my front yard. As I stormed off in my dramatic exit, I realized I had locked myself outside. I had to ask my now ex-boyfriend to borrow his phone so I could call my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 000

You deserved it 9 545

Today, I realized just how pathetic my life is when I found myself fascinated by videos that a woman posts on YouTube of her removing ingrown hairs and zits from people’s private areas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 997

You deserved it 344

Today, under advice from my doctor that I should increase the intensity of my exercises in order to lose weight, I decided to increase the resistance level of the exercise bike I typically use by one, as I could do the previous level easily. My legs got sore after 5 minutes and then I got very sick, so I had to go back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 268

You deserved it 119