Miscellaneous

What the hell am I doing here?

By weirdome23 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my "friend" told me I was weird and irritating. Yet she has an unhealthy obsession with Harry Potter, hates people in general, and has a Facebook for her cat. Yeah, I'm the weird one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 800

You deserved it 8 732

There's still hope, somewhere…

By John - 21/02/2025 08:00

Today, like every day for the past few weeks, I watched the richest man in the world, who was never elected to any office, tear my government apart to make himself and his friends richer. We're so fucked. I'm so afraid for my family and loved ones. I don't know how to cope or protect them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 754

You deserved it 464

Revenge is sweet

By Jim20 - 20/02/2025 03:00 - Germany - Friedberg

Today, I found out my sister scratches her butt with my toothbrush every time she is mad with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 90

Dank

By Anonymous - 19/02/2025 15:00 - Canada

Today, I woke up to a weird smell in my apartment. I checked everywhere but couldn’t find the source. After a while, I discovered the smell was coming from the pile of laundry I'd left in the corner, laundry that I thought was clean. It was the gym clothes I'd thrown in there three weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 617

Are they wrong?

By Anonymous - 19/02/2025 13:30 - India - Jamshedpur

Today, I slipped fell down an entire flight of stairs in front of literally everyone, and after getting back up, I tripped down another flight. Then, instead of silently walking away, I started laughing like a maniac and now everyone probably thinks I'm dumb, clumsy, and crazy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 401

You deserved it 184

Socially inept

By Anonymous - 19/02/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I went to a grocery store and tried one of those free samples of a new type of cheese. When I went to throw the toothpick away, I dropped it in a large container of olive oil. Not realizing it was a “special” display, I casually tried to scoop out the toothpick with my hand... only to get shooed away by an employee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 557

I'm too old for this shit

By Michael - 18/02/2025 20:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I took a quick nap before going out with friends. I set an alarm for 30 minutes. When I woke up, I thought it had been a few minutes, so I jumped up, got my coat, and ran out the door. Turns out, my nap lasted 5 hours, and I missed the entire night out. My friends are still sending me pictures of them having fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 367

Mind melting

By Ashley - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Belmont

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I face-planted. I was going to say "Fuck you" and "I will kill you." It came out as "I will fuck you." He's still laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 618

You deserved it 8 220

Landscaping

By Anonymous - 17/02/2025 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband discovered our neighbour's fence was over our property line by 6 feet and kicked up a fuss about moving the fence. It turns out my husband can’t measure for shit. The fence is actually inside the neighbour's property, and he insisted we move it. There is now no room to park my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 251

You deserved it 450

Drive thru

By ToxicFamily - 17/02/2025 09:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my entitled brother-in-law called me unannounced as I was having lunch and asked if I had food for him and his wife. I said, "The food I have at home will only be enough for my husband." Now I'm the villain for not cooking enough for sudden unexpected mealtime visitors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 83

Out of control

By emilyxoxoxo - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my friend and I thought it would be funny if we could both fit into her big sweatpants. When we tried to take a step, she fell on top of me. She started peeing uncontrollably. We had to cut ourselves out of the sweatpants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 939

You deserved it 37 330

Background noise

By Anonymous - 16/02/2025 15:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I was feeling lonely, so I turned on my Roomba for some "company." Five minutes in, it got stuck under the couch and started crying for help. Now I’m comforting an appliance because I feel bad for mistreating it. I need therapy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 375

Classic power move

By Anonymous - 15/02/2025 22:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I tried to make a dramatic exit after arguing with my sibling. I slammed the front door behind me, only to realize my hoodie string was stuck in it. I had to awkwardly knock and ask to be let back in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 442

Amityville

By bumpinthenight - This FML is from back in 2020 but it's good stuff

Today, I was painting my new house when my neighbor introduced himself. Mid-conversation, he said, "The lady who lived here was nice, but just couldn't get over her husband hanging himself in the garage. Or her son shooting himself in the basement." I'll never sleep again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 419

You deserved it 439

Confusing

By frenchpop1960 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house and I heard a strange sound. I laughed and said, "It sounds like a dog throwing up!" He listened for a second and said, "That's my mom crying downstairs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 597

You deserved it 42 151

Watch out!

By Why am I still in this relationship? - 14/02/2025 09:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, we had an ice storm. My fiancée went out to look at the damage and yelled at me when I warned her to be safe. As she was walking around, she almost got nailed by a falling branch. Now she's mad at me. I don't know why either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 459

You deserved it 84

Welcome to the neighborhood

By Desperate housewife - 13/02/2025 22:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I tried to make a good first impression by bringing homemade cookies to my new neighbors. I dropped the entire plate of cookies on their porch, and the dog across the street immediately rushed over and ate them. My new neighbors were very polite about it, but I’m pretty sure they think I'm a psycho. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 123

I'm always right

By Anonymous - 13/02/2025 05:00 - United States - Crestview

Today, my dad got mad at me because after he told me that when I'm not going anywhere to stop putting on perfume, I told him I wasn't wearing any. I took a shower this morning, my hair is still wet. When I tried to explain this, he got pissed and said that I just needed to accept when he told me I was wrong and shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 93

I am lost, I think

By Anonymous - 13/02/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I walked into a store, grabbed a shopping cart, and started browsing. After 15 seconds, I realized I was in the wrong store. The cashier watched as I awkwardly returned my cart and walked out like I totally meant to do that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 148

You deserved it 354

This is fine

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United States - Cypress

Today, my mother-in-law threw bricks at my car. Her defense? I shouldn't have parked in her "brick throwing spot", in my own driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 257

You deserved it 537

Help!

By stinkyhair - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, thanks to some asshole with a padlock, I got trapped in porta potty for over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 266

You deserved it 2 912

Read the room

By Sarah - 11/02/2025 09:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I was at a family gathering and during a lull in the conversation I started to tell a joke to lighten the mood. Halfway through, I realized the joke was incredibly inappropriate. The room fell silent, and my grandma hasn’t looked at me the same since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 625

Entitled much?

By Knittedbirch - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, my mom volunteered me to house-sit for one of her friends. This lady has texted me over ten times in less than 24 hours, called me unreasonable for not dropping jury duty to meet with her, and has messaged my mom multiple times to complain about me. My mom already said I would do this for free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 206

You deserved it 1 771

Stuck on you

By Anonymous - 10/02/2025 15:00 - United States - Kansas City

Today, I put on a new pair of jeans and went out. Halfway through my errands, I realized the long sticker with my size was still on the back. I walked around for quite a while advertising my embarrassing waist and leg measurements. FML

I agree, your life sucks 212

You deserved it 327

Overconfident

By Anonymous - 10/02/2025 09:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I tried carrying all my groceries inside in one trip. I succeeded, but also succeeded in tearing the handles, dropping everything, and rolling a can of soup straight under my neighbor’s car. Never trust cheap tote bags. FML

I agree, your life sucks 173

You deserved it 380

Well travelled

By Anonymous - 10/02/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I was at a restaurant and confidently ordered in what I thought was fluent French. The waiter stared at me for a second, then responded in perfect English, "Dude, this is an Italian restaurant." FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 753

Salute

By Raven - 09/02/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, I found out that the amazing, funny guy who introduced me to FML, and who would laugh in band with me every day at FMLs, has died. In his honor, FML

I agree, your life sucks 856

You deserved it 90

Scheming

By lordoftheweird - 08/02/2025 13:00 - Canada

Today, I found out my parents' entire marriage was a convoluted scheme to get them both permanently unfit to stand trial. I am genuinely scared to find out what they have planned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 87

Thrashed

By Ringo McDingo - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while I was sleeping, I managed to knock down the curtains by my bed. That would explain the gash on my head and blood on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 556

You deserved it 2 268

Parents of the year

By Anonymous - 07/02/2025 14:00

Today, I got to experience the rare pleasure of overhearing my divorcing parents admit that neither of them want full custody of me, or even shared custody, and then planning to guilt one of my grandparents into accepting custody instead. God I hate them both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 101

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I came home to my frantic mom boxing up all the family electronics. She'd heard about the Roblox lawsuit and is now convinced that every inch of the internet is crawling with pedophiles. Now my two little brothers are throwing earsplitting tantrums and I have no way to drown them out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 83

Today, on our way to a comic book convention, I was getting in the car in my costume when my girlfriend fell against the car door, slamming it shut on my knight helmet, which broke the hinge. We couldn’t fix it, meaning it was stuck on my head for an hour while my dad drove over with an angle grinder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 162

Today, I got a ticket for "suspicious driving" because my total shit of a mother kept tugging on the wheel to annoy me, and I still had to pay it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 017

You deserved it 2 039

Today, I was so envious of my thin, pretty, genetically perfect sister getting a date that I lied to my mom, saying she was a prostitute. I made a fake escort page and used her pics. My mom lost her shit and kicked my sister out, but now the guilt is eating me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42

You deserved it 1 540

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, sitting in my car, an hour into a four-hour trip. The reason? I haven't been lifting with him at his gym during the COVID-19 pandemic. The kicker? We were headed back after a stay-cation with his mom, because yesterday was my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 879

You deserved it 122

Today, because I left my wallet at home, I got arrested for "underage smoking." I'm 32 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 761

You deserved it 696