Medication

Vampire mode

By Anonymous - 01/08/2023 10:00

Today, my doctor put me on a new medication that came with the warning to stay out of the sun. I live in the desert and my country is having the highest temperatures recorded ever in human history. Guess I should stock up on white, long sleeve shirts. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 730

You deserved it 140

Tough choice

By Anonymous - 12/03/2011 00:02 - United States

Today, I was prescribed medicine for anxiety. Without it, my stomach churns all day. With it, I shake uncontrollably and my eyes twitch. Now I have to choose between diarrhea and rude stares from people in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 943

You deserved it 3 019

Ambien conversations are the worst

By Anonymous - 24/09/2020 23:02

Today, my close friend messaged me, asking if she could still move in. I don't remember the conversation we had saying that she could move in in the first place. I live in a one bedroom apartment. I have no idea what to say. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 291

You deserved it 223

Stuck

By Anonymous - 09/08/2022 10:00 - Australia

Today, I had to take a laxative for the first time. Instead of working gently overnight like it promised, I woke up at 3 a.m. to an unrelenting river of shit that made my legs numb on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 053

You deserved it 161

Hogwatch

By PlanB - 27/06/2024 06:00 - United States - Miami

Today, my mom disowned me and kicked me out of the house, all because I used Plan B to terminate a potential pregnancy after I had unprotected sex. She actually packed a suitcase and duffle-bag for me, told me to hit the road, and to never come back. She told me she’d call the police for trespassing if I didn’t comply. FML

I agree, your life sucks 780

You deserved it 251

Lost in the sauce

By Anonymous - 24/02/2023 13:00 - United States - Spokane

Today, I found out that the mice infestations I've been fighting for the last two weeks was actually a recurring series of tactile/visual/auditory hallucinations, a side effect of a normal, prescribed, dosage of ADHD meds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 051

You deserved it 130

Hardly getting used to it

By Anonymous - 05/02/2016 02:22 - United States - Columbia

Today, I shared with my doctor that I still feel uncomfortable with my medication. She expressed surprise, saying, "Really? By now I would've thought it'd be routine." Sorry, no. In three months, I have not gotten used to sticking a syringe up my butt and injecting my rectum full of medicated foam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 969

You deserved it 1 788

Thanks for the support

By depressed - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Hull

Today, I finally told my dad about how I've been diagnosed with clinical depression. He began to recite a commercial for depression meds, but he couldn't finish because he was overwhelmed with laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 915

You deserved it 4 159

By StillDrowsy - 09/10/2009 12:29 - United States

Today, I woke up in the hallway. I took a sleeping pill the night before to get a good sleep in for work, but it turns out it was too strong. I got dizzy and passed out on my way to my bed, fell in the hall and chipped my two front teeth, and slept there - straight through work the next day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 219

You deserved it 7 381

The wagon

By Mariah - 25/09/2022 16:00

Today, after waiting two days for my ADD med because of "insurance issues", I was told it's out-of-stock. I have one pill left, and the pharmacy isn't open on the weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 953

You deserved it 178

Doctor Google

By Anonymous - 05/04/2026 00:00

Today, my mother-in-law 'corrected' me while I was trying to help her father with his Parkinson's medication. She went on and on about how she read on the internet about it. I'm a neurologist, but no, she knows better after a Google search. FML

I agree, your life sucks 342

You deserved it 62

Gassed up

By Tootie - 30/07/2011 06:58 - United States

Today, I have to take medicine that gives me painful, violent farts. Tomorrow, I have to either get fired or go work in an office that's dead silent. How silent? Last week I heard my coworker drop a paperclip, three desks away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 966

You deserved it 3 549

Rip it up and start again

By Anonymous - 24/12/2022 15:00

Today, after fasting for 24 hours and drinking 2 buckets of laxatives, my doctor's office notified me that my colonoscopy had been cancelled. I'd just finished the prep by taking the fart pills, and now have the cleanest colon ever. A lot of time spent on the toilet that I’ll never get back though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 078

You deserved it 126

Cold turkey

By Wishliar - 30/09/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I started my cure from my opioid addiction. My whole body is so sore, I'm lying in bed and I'm still hurting to the point that I cried half the day, and nothing will make me feel any better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 536

You deserved it 216

Just you wait!

By Anonymous - 07/08/2022 00:00

Today, after surgery on my penis, I’m on drugs to prevent erections. My girlfriend now thinks it’s hilarious to walk around naked, bend over in front of me, and do other sexy stuff, because she knows I can’t do anything to her and it’s killing me. In three weeks, her ass is mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 175

You deserved it 248

Waste of time and money

By Anonymous - 09/10/2015 17:34

Today, I found out that what I thought was "acne" is actually an allergic reaction to a cream I've been using for years. I thought the cream was helping me with the breakouts but my doctor says the real acne probably went away naturally years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 512

You deserved it 2 508

Is everything OK?

By Hellie - 30/07/2025 15:00 - Canada

Today, I woke up to strange texts from friends asking if I was OK, and asking what happened last night. Apparently, I texted my close friends contact list a rambling love letter to pizza before going to bed. I'm never taking Ambien BEFORE getting into bed again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 183

Sleep cycled out

By ninithel - 24/11/2024 08:00 - United Kingdom - Hull

Today, I'm doing the school run. I went to bed early and took a sleeping pill for my insomnia so I could be productive. Even if I could sleep past my partner snoring like a cave bear with sinus infection, it turns out that my sleeping pills make me hyper. The next person who says ADHD is fun is getting slapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 151

Bad parenting

By Anonymous - 19/06/2024 21:00

Today, we got back from our second honeymoon and went to pick the kids up from my mom's. Surprisingly, they were both sat quietly watching TV. Half jokingly, I asked my mom what her secret was. Without even a guilty pause she told me, "Benadryl for chesty coughs in their juice. You're welcome." FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 113

Pumped

By Rita - 11/01/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, while pumping gas at the gas station, two men pulled up to my car, opened the passenger door, grabbed my handbag and sped off. The $2000 handbag that my husband worked pretty much all last year for to gift me for Christmas, my wallet, and my diabetes medication. FML

I agree, your life sucks 718

You deserved it 249

Malding

By fml - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I noticed the results of my hair growth vitamins. It's been a month since my bad haircut, and I've seen some definite growth… Everywhere except my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 246

You deserved it 427

Peace and quiet

By And there's none left for me - 15/01/2025 18:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, I bought a bottle of tart cherry juice, which is a strong sleep aid. My wife didn't realize this, and gave a glass to both the kids and herself. Now its 6pm and they're all fast asleep. It's going to be such a joy when they all wake up at 3 am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 155

Awww Sweaty, don't worry

By sopheeah - 29/05/2012 07:54 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my boyfriend called me, panicking. Apparently he had a headache, but wasn't concentrating on what tablets he grabbed, and accidentally took tablets for "relief of period pain". He was convinced he was going to grow ovaries overnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 563

You deserved it 2 934

Ignore the void

By Anonymous - 22/12/2023 13:00 - United States - Pensacola

Today, I've finally got my mental health under control after decades of flailing. I also started showing signs of Serotonin Syndrome, which is caused by my meds and could result in seizure and death. So my choices are the swirling void of depression or possibly just the void. FML

I agree, your life sucks 545

You deserved it 120

Are you OK?

By Squid - 07/11/2012 05:11 - Australia - Hornsby

Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 014

You deserved it 7 489

Disclaimer

By Issac Almendarez - 02/12/2022 04:00

Today, my family and I took a trip to Mexico, along with my girlfriend. I bought some Viagra, just to experiment as I don't need it. My mom had me carrying around her cigarettes all day. When she asked for them, I accidentally handed her the box of Viagra and she freaked out on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 255

You deserved it 1 551

Caught a break

By It'sAntibioticsTime - 16/07/2023 03:00 - United States - Carson City

Today, I learned that when you're sleeping 12+ hours and starving all the time, but haven't gained any weight, you might have a sinus infection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 636

You deserved it 159

Brain worms

By Whoops - 15/06/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, it's been several weeks, I went to the doctor for an ear infection and I still don't feel too good. It was then that I realized the doctor forgot to prescribe me medication for said infection. That explains a few things. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 203

Merry holidays!

By Anonymous - 23/12/2023 09:00 - Australia

Today, I started antibiotics for a UTI. Now, along with a burning sensation whenever I pee, I also need to try not to fall asleep, put up with the headaches, nausea, and lightheadedness from the tablets, all while working two jobs and being a parent. Six days to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 118

Take your medication

By my brain sucks! - 10/03/2022 22:00

Today, I’ve been getting my ass handed to me by my anxiety for nearly a year. I talked to my doctor about starting meds. I got so terrified of the possible side effects that I not only had an anxiety attack, I also had a panic attack. I still couldn’t bring myself to take the pills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 257

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The Top

Today, I was stepping out of the shower while home alone. I heard voices coming from the living room. I grabbed a bat to defend myself and ran into the living room. I slipped on my tile floor and smashed my TV with the bat. No one was in my house, but I'd left the radio on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 640

You deserved it 48 183

Today, I'm into a three week battle with the United States medical system regarding my mom. I've even moved friends onto our farm because I'm a traveling electrician. Yup, they took a pissed off email a little too serious. I'm on charges of fraud and I need to leave on friday to keep the family farm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 255

You deserved it 654

Today, a guy diagnosed with ALS and months to live told me he didn’t envy my job. Definitely including this on my end of year performance review… FML

I agree, your life sucks 866

You deserved it 118

Today, I got robbed. They took my stereo and laptop, but they left my car and a note that reads "Wtf is this?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 273

You deserved it 375

Today, while meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time, the first comment I received was, "Well, at least this one is white." FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 045

You deserved it 463

Today, taking a piss still gives me more pleasure than masturbation or sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 753

You deserved it 295