Kids

Neglected

By Story of my life - 06/11/2023 21:00 - United States

Today, I was playing Wii Sports, trying to finally complete the "pick up spares" bowling game. My parents were behind me and said they would support me. After several failed attempts, I realized they had been on their phones the whole time, and were so engrossed that they didn't even look up when I spoke to them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 147

You deserved it 680

Get me out of here

By mirabelle - 06/11/2023 03:00

Today, my mom screamed at me for not saying “Thank you” after she gave me food. Yesterday, she screamed at me for thanking her. I’m 24 and can’t afford to move out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 512

You deserved it 121

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

By Anonymous - 06/11/2023 00:02

Today, after my family left me at home for the weekend before finals while they went on vacation so I could focus on my studies, I spent the weekend watching my little cousins for no pay. It wasn’t an easy babysitting job either. I had to pay attention to and then re-enact basically every Bluey episode ever to exist, with no time to study. FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 175

My mum is weird

By Anonymous - 03/11/2023 16:00

Today, my mum came to visit me in the country where I'm studying. We went out, and when she saw a dude eating something she liked the look of, she made me run after him to ask where he bought it. The guy was my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 122

Off the rails

By Anonymous - 02/11/2023 06:00

Today, and for the past year, I’ve been losing a custody battle with my ex, I got put on medication that makes me feel dead, and I just found out my current boyfriend, who I’ve been dating for 3 years, has been cheating for months with girls I told him I didn’t have a good feeling about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 545

You deserved it 137

Nature vs. Nurture

By what??? - 01/11/2023 22:00

Today, I think my daughter is the only person in the world who was born racist. The other day she said to me, “Girls with dark skin can’t be pretty.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 184

Trick it is, then

By Tricked - 01/11/2023 09:00

Today, after a stressful shift at work, I bought three bags of candy to hand out to trick-or-treaters tonight. I didn’t realize until I got home that one bag had a hole in it, and there were three empty M&M wrappers inside. My grocery store sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 94

Shut up!

By Unfun funeral - 31/10/2023 22:00 - United States

Today, I went to my uncle's funeral. His eulogy was ruined by an annoying little kid repeatedly talking over the pastor, who didn't pause for anything, no matter how many times his parents told him to stop. The complimentary lunch was horrible, and the hearse driving him to the cemetery got into an accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 77

Nutshot

By Blue Nut Records - 31/10/2023 18:00 - Switzerland - Delémont

Today, I managed to squeeze a testicle between my thigh and a drawer while doing the dishes. From the floor, writhing in pain, I watched my wife laughing hysterically while our two year-old ran up to jump on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 93

Parental disapproval

By Anonymous - 31/10/2023 16:00

Today, my daughter gave me the “but daddy I love him” speech when she turned up to a family event with her boyfriend, who was at least 20 years older than her, was visibly intoxicated, stank of body odour and cigarettes, then tried to flirt with my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 80

Fury

By Anonymous - 31/10/2023 04:00

Today, my parents are furious and are refusing to let me see my kids. Why? They're raising my kids after I lost them to foster care and I stopped fighting for custody, and just announced my pregnancy with my new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48

You deserved it 1 953

Not again

By Anonymous - 28/10/2023 16:00

Today, I was concerned I hadn’t restarted my periods yet after the birth of our first child. Turns out it’s because I’m pregnant again already. We must have gotten pregnant off the very first egg I released after giving birth. Our first baby is only 3 months old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 735

Hard no

By badsitter - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, my mother stopped speaking to me because I won’t let her babysit anymore. Her idea of babysitting is to sit my daughter alone with a tablet and a pile of sugary junk food for 7 hours straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 690

You deserved it 390

Long term cringe

By Anonymous - 27/10/2023 08:00

Today, I realized that the reason why my classmates from second grade may have thought of me so poorly was that I stupidly told all of them that I was a bedwetter and needed to wear pull-ups during the night. I feel like a fool now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 321

You deserved it 218

The best costume design award goes to…

By Anonymous - 27/10/2023 06:00

Today, my son is so rabid for Halloween this year that he decided to dress up early and do his own Incredible Hulk makeup. He used a green permanent marker he stole from school. It’s all over him from head to foot, and my carpet, sofa, bathtub, and even the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 477

You deserved it 92

Bursting out

By Myth Confirmed - 26/10/2023 16:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, I overheard my brother telling my son and his male cousins, who all think he's a cool uncle, that, "Only women can sneeze and fart at the same time." I decided to intervene, and gave him a scolding of a lifetime in front of them. Let's just say, I had to sneeze while in the middle of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 663

You deserved it 457

Thanks for the info

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 858

You deserved it 640

Fight Club

By Back to youtube - 23/10/2023 22:00

Today, two weeks after I got my girlfriend's son to watch old Tom & Jerry cartoons instead of those awful YouTube kids channels, he got in trouble at school for whapping another kid in the face with a toy mallet. He mentioned he wanted to be like Jerry. I'm a dead man when my girlfriend hears this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 280

Dad of the year

By Anonymous - 23/10/2023 07:00

Today, my son has failed all his exams, no university will take him, he keeps getting fired from part time jobs for incompetence, and generally makes goldfish look smart in comparison. His mother refuses to admit she should have quit drinking while she was pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 895

You deserved it 267

It's not a phase, mom!

By gelly donut - 22/10/2023 20:00

Today, my parents disowned me because I told them I don’t want kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 918

You deserved it 141

Hands off parenting

By iloveyoutoomom - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - France

Today, my mom had an appointment with my teacher after class. She never showed. My teacher ended up driving me home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 625

You deserved it 3 591

The season of the witch

By Anonymous - 22/10/2023 10:00 - Belgium - Charleroi

Today, a little girl and her mother stopped in front of my window to look at the witch I'd put there as a Halloween decoration. The little girl was smiling, so I lifted the curtain and smiled at her. When she saw me, she started to cry, and ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 548

You deserved it 207

Mean Girls 3

By Cindy - 20/10/2023 09:30

Today, some girls followed me into the girls room at school. Once I got into the stall, one snuck up on me from the next stall over and grabbed my arms. The others grabbed and took my pants and panties, which were around my ankles. They ran off and left me in there for hours, bottomless. I never got my clothes back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 035

You deserved it 117

Copaganda

By Anonymous - 18/10/2023 07:30

Today, my dad is trying to kick me out to become homeless, because it’s my goal to become a police officer, and since he’s served prison time I’m now scum in his eyes and a disgrace to our family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 835

You deserved it 309

The struggle is real

By Anonymous - 15/10/2023 08:30

Today, I was lectured by my mom who saw me trying to play on my Switch during a weekday. The thing is, she doesn't even give me any time to play in the week, and then calls me out whenever I try to get a few decent hours on my Meta Quest and Switch during the weekends. Stop dictating me; give me a goddamn break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 498

You deserved it 444

Why now?

By Anonymous - 14/10/2023 15:00 - United States - Lufkin

Today, it took me 2 hours to get my toddler to sleep. Just after I got him down, my mom woke him up by banging my pots and pans around in the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 690

You deserved it 127

Congratulations, I guess

By Dead Inside Uncle - 14/10/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, my depression has seemingly hit a new low when I barely reacted at all to my sister excitedly telling me that I'm going to be an uncle. I'm not going to be a fun one at this rate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 632

You deserved it 159

Self report

By i got the ring - 13/10/2023 20:00

Today, I told my husband’s ex that she is under no circumstances to contact him for any reason, and that if they must discuss the kids being dropped off, I am to be included as a group text. Her reply? A bunch of laughing emojis. Now he’s pissed at me for trying to protect our marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 137

You deserved it 2 180

Happy anniversary

By Anonymous - 12/10/2023 07:30 - Canada - Québec

Today, I volunteered to babysit my nephew. He somehow managed to lock himself in the bathroom and then flood it with the sink. I had to call his parents, and they're now on their way home from their romantic anniversary dinner. I'm not even getting paid for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 542

You deserved it 222

The YouTube police

By Anonymous - 11/10/2023 07:30

Today, just like almost every other day, my mom goes onto the computer and scolds me for what I watch on YouTube, even when the videos aren't that graphic. Today she scolded me because she found out that I'd watched videos related to the Max Headroom signal intrusion back in '87. Why can't I just watch what I want? FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 155

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my girlfriend told me she was sexually frustrated. Naturally, I started coming on to her, only for her to shove me away and snap that just because she was sexually frustrated, it didn't mean that she wanted sex. Huh? FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 237

Today, after a week of no side effects, my bronchitis medication decided to screw me over. I'm running on 3 hours of sleep and half of my face is sunburnt in randomized patches. Guess who has a huge presentation today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 595

You deserved it 183

Today, I realized after turning in my resume to over 100 job openings over the past month, that the resume I've been submitting does not have my phone number or any other contact information besides my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 385

You deserved it 16 236

Today, my wife and I have a perfect life together, nice house, nice cars, fun hobbies, fun holidays, love each other, lots of sex and so on. After 12 years of marital bliss, she wants to ruin all that by having a baby, and has even threatened divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 620

You deserved it 1 019

Today, my 1 month old kitten peed all over my kitchen floor. I wanted to get some water out of one of drawers and slipped on the piss. My phone shattered and i dislocated my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 668

You deserved it 448

Today, I had to endure an awful taxi ride. He got me to my destination perfectly and on time, but spewed a racist rant about how, "all Indians are scammers" and how, "the Chinese should get out" the entire time. Then the taxi app had the audacity to ask for a rating. 5 stars? I don't think so. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 224