By thanks dad - 04/01/2018 19:00
By Anonymous - 16/11/2009 20:10 - United States
pollychrome tells us more.
Thief
By Mommabear - 15/06/2018 01:30
By Anonymous - 13/01/2010 08:46 - United Kingdom
Badass
By Anonymous - 06/01/2024 08:00
Shy guy
By Jen - 09/07/2025 04:00 - Romania
Buzzkill
By ouch - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Nashville
Wrong end of the stick
By anonymous - 09/04/2009 04:53 - United States
By Anonymous - 08/10/2015 01:47 - United States - Woodbridge
By Anonymous - 14/10/2017 20:00
It's not a phase, mom!
By gelly donut - 22/10/2023 20:00
By Noname - 27/01/2009 19:42 - Ireland
By I hate children - 18/08/2014 12:10 - United Kingdom - Liverpool
Go to your OWN rooms!
By Cheryl - 03/05/2021 05:01
Bad mom
By Anonymous - 10/12/2009 14:34 - United States
Learning
By dummy - 11/07/2011 19:21 - United States
Close to me
By Furnando - 06/01/2023 00:00
Follow up?
By Anonymous - 10/12/2022 03:00
Pecking order of shame
By We're men! We don't grow up, we just grow old. - 24/09/2023 02:00 - Philippines - Makati City
By NewMom - 16/08/2017 20:00
By MomOfBoys - 22/12/2016 21:20
Half man, half armchair
By Anonymous - 23/06/2023 15:00
By myheart75 - 07/08/2011 09:52 - Australia
This is what TERFs believe
By Anonymous - 21/08/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom
By Laura - 30/11/2010 03:03
By nick - 24/07/2012 00:52 - United States - Palm Desert
By Aliya - 01/03/2009 14:14 - United States
Cheers
By peace out - 05/03/2013 20:19 - United States - Mount Pleasant
911 what's your emergency?
By midwify - 05/01/2015 17:58 - Denmark - Asaa
By Pokecousin - 27/12/2016 17:45
Keywords
The rest of the story: I had my cellphone on me (I always do). I called a friend who lived close by who keeps a set of keys for us. She drove over while we sat in the garage (the car trunk was unlocked and I crawled through to get to the inside of the car, and I could get access to the garage door opener, but my husband had locked the inner door to the house - which is why I tried the garage door in the first place) waiting and listening to the monitor. I had grabbed a beer for solidarity, but wasn't really drinking it. I honestly don't like to drink very much since having the kids (obviously didn't drink while pregnant, either), but my husband is awesome and deserved some time off. So I grabbed beers for both of us so he would have one. Usually he just finishes my beer or it ends up getting poured out. The friend got there rather quickly (about 15 minutes) while my husband sat, drank his beer and wondered aloud which of his power tools he would use to cut through the garage wall into the house if the kids started crying (they never woke up). We got in, we laughed. I carry my keys in my pocket at all times now, and my husband doesn't think I'm weird for always having my cellphone on me anymore. It wasn't a crisis, but it sure did freak us out. We're pretty attentive parents, and these are the only kids we're ever going to have (I got my tubes tied after delivery - we figured that two kids would be one for each of us, 0 growth population and really all the kids we could ever take care of anyway), so sometimes the whole first parent thing can make one kind of dumb. Sleep is in short supply, but the kids are worth it.