By poorgary - 18/12/2008 11:46 - France Today, it's my birthday. It's 6.30 pm. I'm still the only person aware of what day it is. FML I agree, your life sucks 35 845 You deserved it 2 727 Share Tweet Share
Today, I finally made out with my boyfriend. Let's just say his idea of making out is moving his tongue like a lizard. FML I agree, your life sucks 34 435 You deserved it 5 147
Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions." Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML I agree, your life sucks 56 370 You deserved it 9 479
Today, I found a love letter in my mail. It was from a girl I met at a bar few weeks ago. I never gave her my address or last name. I guess I have a stalker now. FML I agree, your life sucks 15 125 You deserved it 1 585
Today, at my job at a ceramics store, I was loading a $300 statuette into a woman's car when I saw a dismembered foot in the trunk. I was so startled that I dropped the statuette and it shattered. Turns out the foot was fake and now my boss says I have to pay for the damage. FML I agree, your life sucks 25 598 You deserved it 6 135
Today, my dad refused to believe that the Animal Planet's mermaid mockumentaries were faked. Instead he got into a huge argument with me, claiming the government is covering up the existence of mermaids and must've threatened the producers to keep it quiet. FML I agree, your life sucks 40 525 You deserved it 5 431
Today, my in-laws came for dinner. My 5-year-old son chose that as the perfect time to say, "Good girls always swallow!" when my daughter coughed up some of her food. I have no idea where he heard it, but my mother-in-law blamed me, and my wife had to convince her not to call CPS on me. FML I agree, your life sucks 50 076 You deserved it 3 761
Today, while staying at my mother’s house, she messaged me at 5:45 a.m. saying she “desperately” needed my help. I rushed over to her, only to find out she'd lied. She actually wanted me to help clean her garbage dump of a room. I’m starting to remember why I don’t visit often. FML I agree, your life sucks 947 You deserved it 126
Today, my daughter ran up to an old man with a white beard and a red sweater because she thought he might be Santa. He was a homeless dude, drunk at 9 in the morning. He told her to either give him money or f**k off, then screamed at her that "Santa’s not real, grow up r*tard." She’s still crying FML I agree, your life sucks 613 You deserved it 242