Birthday

Oh wow, this got posted! Awesome! Thank you so much, everyone. I am better now, and am so ready for this pandemic to end. My foot was black and blue for a few days, all the way to my toes, but fortunately no broken bones. I'm walking normal again and my bosses are insisting on paying the medical bills (even though it was my own clumsy fault). :)

Nice try

By forgottenbday - 11/07/2012 05:09 - United States - Canoga Park

Today, my boyfriend treated me to a surprise romantic dinner, got me a huge balloon bouquet, a dozen roses, and a beautiful card for my birthday. Too bad it's his ex's birthday and not mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 665

You deserved it 2 772

Kinda sus

By Unwanted - 21/10/2023 22:00

Today, it's my birthday. My husband said he had to work today and “rain checked” my birthday celebration for “god knows when, because I’m so busy. I’ll let you know.” A couple of months ago it was his female work bestie’s birthday and he got her a cake, balloon, flowers, and requested time off to take her out for lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 236

You deserved it 180

Disappearing act

By BrokeAfnow - 02/05/2021 02:01

Today, it was my son’s birthday. I took him out to a eat and wanted to surprise him with a new iPhone. I handed the waitress the iPhone and asked her to bring it out with the cake I brought. The cake comes out, without the iPhone. The waitress said she doesn’t know what I’m talking about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 756

You deserved it 1 358

Be careful what you wish for

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Frisco

Today, for the first time ever, one of my birthday wishes came true. I wished for my crush to come hang out with me, and she did. I wasted my birthday wish on an awkward silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 824

You deserved it 3 420

And I Oop

By Anonymous - 15/01/2021 23:01

Today, my mom was screaming and throwing things at me and I didn’t know why. Then I checked the date. Her birthday was yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 1 317

Oh look, a big red flag!

By fmlmvlijthen - 29/09/2024 16:00 - Netherlands

Today, the girl I've been seeing for two months and with whom I'm in love with, asked me, whilst she's on holiday celebrating her birthday, whether I would pay for a male escort for her as a birthday gift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 485

You deserved it 156

Unreasonable

By Anonymous - 20/12/2021 22:58

Today, on my 21st birthday, my dad handed me £12,000 and revealed he’d been saving my rent. When I asked what for, he told me it was to rent my first house because now I’m 21, he’s throwing my ass out. Neither me or nor my mom could talk him round, and unless I’m out by next week, he’ll start smashing my possessions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 561

You deserved it 406

It's still a bop! It slaps!

By Please find a new song - 20/11/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, I was once again woken up to my dad blasting The Beatles' song "Birthday." He does this whenever it's anyone's birthday (in this case, my mom's) and he knows a lot of people. It was funny at first, but now it's getting old very quickly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 100

I didn't mean to hurt you, I'm sorry that I made you cry

By jenni - 06/04/2021 20:00

Today, my seven-year-old niece gave me a birthday card. Only she'd spelled my name as ‘Jenny.’ When I told her it was spelled with an i instead of a y, she cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 1 147

How Soon is Now?

By Anonymous - 14/05/2021 12:59 - Colombia - Bogota

Today, I realized that my boyfriend‘s birthday was two weeks ago, so I immediately sent him a message as if it was today. He didn’t believe my excuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 189

You deserved it 1 928

Not anyone's favorite

By Anonymous - 13/11/2022 10:00

Today, everyone at school told me to wish my brother a happy birthday. We're twins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 966

You deserved it 105

Not So Sweet Sixteen

By sadstorylifee - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to admit to my parents that the reason I don't want a sixteenth birthday party isn't because I'm being spoiled and I expected my parents to take me on a lavish vacation, but because I don't have any friends to invite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 957

You deserved it 4 828

Policy of truth

By Lisaaa - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, it was my little girl's birthday and her grandparents came over to celebrate. One of the presents from her grandparents turned out to be a sweater. She then asked, "Mommy, may I please lie?" When I shook my head no, she exclaimed, "I hate this ugly sweater!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 849

You deserved it 35 101

Alexa, play "Unhappy Birthday" by The Smiths

By Anonymous - 03/02/2021 17:01

Today, my sisters took me to a gay bar to celebrate my birthday. All was going well, until the drag queens demanded anyone with a birthday on stage. My sisters forced me to go. Turns out, it was for a twerking contest. I can't dance and have social anxiety. When I got off the stage, I cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 207

You deserved it 184

Quite rightly so

By Anonymous - 31/05/2022 22:00 - United States

Today, I was told my eldest grandson doesn't want me at his birthday party, nor does he want my gift. It would seem he and his younger brother still haven't forgiven me for my prank on Easter, when I tricked them into thinking I was taking them to the 'Big Neighborhood Egg Hunt', when really we were going to church. FML

I agree, your life sucks 286

You deserved it 3 935

Happy Birthday

By Anonymous - 07/10/2010 00:48 - United States

Today, my parents gave me my birthday present. Two weeks ago, I'd ordered an Xbox online. Three days ago, it came to my house, and my parents thought they could save money by putting wrapping paper on it, and giving it to me for my birthday. That's all they got me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 350

You deserved it 3 520

Dominance

By it’s mine too - 01/03/2022 06:00

Today, and every other birthday I've had, I shared with my cousin whose birthday is 4 days apart from mine. It would be totally fine if I had an opinion on the theme, invitees, and location. Only my cousin gets that privilege apparently. Oh and my presents, if she likes them enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 189

You deserved it 122

Thanks, but no thanks

By hoping to live to see next year - 29/07/2018 15:00

Today, my son surprised me by waking me up to be first to greet me a happy birthday. He was with his marching band buddies in full battle gear, playing the chorus of Stars and Stripes Forever. In my bedroom. At 5 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 539

You deserved it 676

Under my thumb

By Anonymous - 09/12/2024 05:00 - United States - Upland

Today, the girl I love who friendzoned me called to talk. She shared the marvelous things she'd done for her friend's birthday, then said, "You had a recent birthday too." Then she laughed. We'd talked multiple times without her mentioning my birthday. She ignored it on Facebook. Time for no contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 213

Stop whining, Sybil

By Thoughtless Wife - 18/06/2017 14:00

Today, my sister-in-law announced on Facebook that I did nothing for my husband's birthday. I'd just had major surgery, and I'm not allowed to drive or do much. We had a small party - just us and the kids - but didn't invite anyone over. I guess not inviting her meant we did nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 792

You deserved it 289

Love is in the air

By Anonymous - 27/11/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, for my birthday, my husband gave me a dress he stole from my wardrobe. It was the one I'd bought myself on my last birthday because he forgot to buy me anything, and gave me cash in a brown envelope. Not a birthday card, a brown envelope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 554

You deserved it 113

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to drink several shots of vodka after taking a pill that makes you sick when you drink. She puked all night and then blamed me for making her sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 407

You deserved it 165

Today, while working at the coffee shop, I had to empty the garbage cans. One of the bags gave way, and all the half-finished cups of coffee spilled all over my uniform. Most customers' orders cost more than I make per hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 126

You deserved it 2 305

Today, I went in for a full hysterectomy due to medical issues. I came out being 6 weeks pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 018

You deserved it 180

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, and totally forgot about my existence. She doesn’t even text me, and I think there’s someone else, but she has my name tattooed on her body. Love sucks, I don’t recommend it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 154

Today, I found out my husband is still friends with someone who talks a lot of crap about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 84

Today, my boyfriend's friends were throwing him a surprise birthday party. I thought it'd be funny to get him some fuzzy handcuffs and a box of condoms as a gift. They never told me they invited his parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 111

You deserved it 49 970