Babysitter

By Anonymous - 23/08/2013 17:13 - United States - Honolulu

Today, I realized the only reason I was invited to go on vacation with my extended family was so I could babysit everyone's children while the adults go out and have fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 360

You deserved it 3 155

By raquel - 17/07/2015 16:40 - United States

Today, I babysat the Antichrist of all kids. After the 5 long hours were over, his parents came home. Instead of paying me what they agreed, they offered to let me eat some leftovers of a takeout in the fridge. I'm so afraid of confrontation that I accepted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 181

You deserved it 10 190

Bad guy

By Anonymous - 02/11/2024 03:00 - Canada

Today, I was babysitting my 4 year-old niece, who rudely but cutely asked me why my nose is so big. Trying to make light of it, I told her, "It's because I lie a lot, just like Pinocchio." Now she won’t stop asking who I lied to and told my sister and her husband that I’m a "bad guy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 523

Crooked

By Anonymous - 08/11/2009 04:04 - United States

Today, I taught my younger cousins a more effective way to brush their teeth. Tonight when I was getting them ready for bed, I asked them why they weren't brushing their teeth like I taught them to. The littlest one replied, "Daddy said if we do then we'll have ugly teeth like yours." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 519

You deserved it 7 167

Good job

By whatnow - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Carmel

Today, I fell asleep on the couch while babysitting. When the kids' parents came home, they made fake crying noises to see if I would wake up. I slept like a baby, and by the time they finally roused me, I'd left a nice drool stain on the armrest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 951

You deserved it 34 732

By Tara - 31/10/2008 07:06 - Sweden

Today, I babysat a four year-old kid, so his parents could go out to party. Once in bed, he yelled, "I want to go party!" After three or four times, I told him to go to sleep. Two hours later, he'd wet the bed, saying, "I told you I want to go potty!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 003

You deserved it 52 338

Great parenting

By not my responsibility - 05/10/2021 07:59

Today, my sister is upset that I won’t upturn my entire life by letting her kids stay at my house 4-5 days a week. She decided to move in with her boyfriend after one month, before even introducing him to her kids. Now he’s decided he doesn’t like the kids, so she wants me to keep them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 023

You deserved it 90

Worst babysitter ever

By shira512 - 10/08/2012 23:59 - United Kingdom - Romford

Today, after much debate, my husband convinced me to let his scumbag brother babysit our seven-year-old son while we went out to a restaurant. When we got home, we found him teaching our son how to pick the lock to our liquor cabinet. My husband is unapologetic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 272

You deserved it 4 055

Not my problem

By Anonymous - 17/05/2023 06:00

Today, my mom tried to force me to stay home from work to babysit my sister and her “boyfriend”. I snuck out and went to work anyway, because I hate being around them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 739

You deserved it 150

Fuzzy logic

By Lisa - 23/04/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, a person I've never met called me a whore and spat on me. Why? Because I was babysitting for my neighbors and answered the door for two well dressed women passing out religious pamphlets. I politely declined to take any. Apparently being a 15 year-old girl caring for a toddler makes me a sex worker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 662

You deserved it 95

Little darling

By Anonymous - 21/05/2016 04:27 - Australia - Clayton

Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on the job. After his mom finally got home 4 hours later, he called her a slut. When he got in trouble for it, he claimed that I taught him the word. Needless to say, I didn't get paid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 172

You deserved it 895

Make it stop

By Levi2411 - 31/12/2018 04:00

Today, I'm babysitting. The kids have only been home at the same time together for 15 minutes. Two of them have punched each other and the other is running in circles screaming. What is wrong with this picture? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 320

You deserved it 335

Babysitter blues

By UnpaidBabysitter - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff - United States - New York

Today, I was shut in a boiling hot room with six children: a ten year-old who kept shouting; a belligerent seven year-old; two five year-olds who thought hitting me was funny, and two two year-olds who wouldn't stop crying. Their parents were just outside, laughing away, ignoring me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 020

You deserved it 284

Damian?

By Anonymous - 16/09/2019 06:01 - United Kingdom - London

Today, while babysitting, I got stabbed by a 7 year-old with a mechanical pencil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 244

You deserved it 116

Don't take your eye off the ball

By armybrat - 10/07/2009 00:19 - United States

Today, I took a nap while babysitting my neighbor's kids for the day. I was woken up by an obnoxious sound, only to find the youngest kid holding scissors in one hand, a pony tail of hair stuck down in his shorts, jumping around like a horse. Oh, and a semi-bald patch on the back of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 575

You deserved it 60 273

So sad

By Anonymous - 05/02/2011 17:22 - Canada

Today, I cried harder than I have in years. I was babysitting, and watching Pokémon to pass the time. It was the episode where Ash, Dawn, and Brock on the show went their separate ways, and may never be together again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 914

You deserved it 37 504

Good job

By Anonymous - 11/01/2010 18:08 - United States

Today, the little boy I nanny for finally stood up and went 'pee-pee on the potty'. I started cheering and clapping, making a big deal out of it. I flushed while he smiled proudly and pooped on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 104

You deserved it 3 629

Demon child

By never again! - 22/06/2021 02:01

Today, I was babysitting my nephew. He was acting up, so instead of spanking him, I put him in the corner for timeout. He screamed and thrashed and kicked the walls so hard my neighbors called the police. My sister wasn’t answering her phone, and I had to explain why a 7-year-old was acting like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 114

You deserved it 136

You big fanny

By Anonymous - 30/09/2012 17:57 - Germany - Hagen

Today, I was babysitting a six year old girl, when I saw a huge spider on the wall. I screamed and told her to stay back. Instead, she walked up to the spider, squished it, and told me to stop being such a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 438

You deserved it 31 316

I quit!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - East Carondelet

Today, I'm babysitting kids whose parents said they would be back by 12. Its 4 a.m. and they still aren't home. I don't get paid enough for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 005

You deserved it 2 249

In your face

By ouchy - 30/01/2010 05:05 - United States

Today, I was babysitting three little kids. I gave one of them, a seven-year-old, a piggy-back ride, thinking I was strong enough. I managed to get a few feet before face planting on the wooden floor. She's fine though, no pain or anything. My face took the impact for both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 213

You deserved it 26 891

Hold this for me

By Anonymous - 06/07/2023 15:00

Today, a lady chased me through the mall because I wouldn’t babysit her kid while she shopped. I hate kids and don’t babysit, especially random ones, and especially not for free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 972

You deserved it 100

The babysitter's handbook

By ACHOOOOOOO - 15/09/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I am babysitting my niece for the first time. After getting her to go to sleep, I felt a sudden urge to sneeze. My sneezes are loud as hell. Attempts to dampen the sound were unsuccessful. My colossal sneeze scared the bejesus out of her, waking her up again, and now she's afraid of me. What do I do now? FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 186

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

By Anonymous - 06/11/2023 00:02

Today, after my family left me at home for the weekend before finals while they went on vacation so I could focus on my studies, I spent the weekend watching my little cousins for no pay. It wasn’t an easy babysitting job either. I had to pay attention to and then re-enact basically every Bluey episode ever to exist, with no time to study. FML

I agree, your life sucks 516

You deserved it 176

Caught in 4K

By Anonymous - 26/08/2015 08:04 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I had my daughter babysit her two-year-old brother while I went out with my husband. I told her not to let him out of her sight. She certainly did as I said; when I tuned into our internet-enabled baby monitor, I heard her and some guy having sex in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 931

You deserved it 3 001

No kidding

By Ted - 08/05/2024 22:00 - Australia

Today, I volunteered to babysit my niece. How hard can it be to entertain a toddler for a few hours? Turns out, very hard. Within minutes, she'd turned the living room into a war zone, with crayon graffiti and a trail of sticky handprints leading to who knows where. By the time her parents got back, I was ready to sign up for a lifetime supply of earplugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 212

You deserved it 447

Take this

By GabsAlot829 - 21/07/2009 22:17 - United States

Today, I babysat the most annoying and obnoxious kids for almost eight hours, when the parents assured me that they would only be gone about three or so hours. After constant calling and worrying, they finally showed up at 11:30, completely drunk. The mother paid me with three dollars and a banana. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 832

You deserved it 3 750

Pillow Fight Club!

By Crushingdefeat - 06/07/2021 00:03 - United States - Staten Island

Today, my girlfriend and I babysat our neighbors' 10 year-old. After a while, he challenged us to a pillow fight. I opted out, but she accepted. I went to use the bathroom and I came back to find her face down on the floor, as he sat on her back bashing a pillow against her head. What the hell did I miss? FML

I agree, your life sucks 816

You deserved it 151

Bride of Chucky

By spooked - 22/11/2013 06:20 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 910

You deserved it 3 814

The Shining

By Anonymous - 30/03/2020 14:00

Today, I was babysitting my 4 year-old twin brothers yet again. I began to get desperate when they took my phone and would start crying every time I tried to take it back. My mother found me thirty minutes later, huddled in a corner, crying. I'm 27 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 017

You deserved it 1 372

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The Top

Today, I made spaghetti bolognese for three people. Of those three people, only one got food poisoning. Me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 386

You deserved it 1 768

Today, I woke up to the faint memory of being drunk enough to draw dicks on my own face in permanent marker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 114

You deserved it 33 509

Today, I went to a movie with a girl I went to high school with. There was a preview for an upcoming 3D movie. I asked her if she had ever seen a 3D movie before. She told me she couldn't because she is blind in one eye. Apparently it's a "sensitive subject." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 574

You deserved it 4 893

Today, I had an ultrasound which required me to have a full bladder. I arrived on time, bladder full, only to be stuck in waiting room limbo for 40 mins. I nearly exploded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 079

You deserved it 106

Today, I dreamt of my mom. She came over to me, and said, "Hey, I'm alright, the doctors were wrong." My mom died 4 months ago due to Covid-19 complications, and waking up shouldn't be so painful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 578

You deserved it 86

Today, a coworker told me something I didn't realize was confidential, until later when my boss called me, saying someone may have shared something confidential with me, and me, not thinking so, said I don't think anyone did. We hung up, they called back and elaborated, and it dawned on me now they think I'm a liar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 868

You deserved it 188