Awkward

Season's greetings

By Joe Bloggs - 31/12/2024 15:00 - United States - Detroit

Today, I mistook a stranger in a supermarket aisle for an old friend and gave them a big bear hug from behind. Turns out, my "friend" was just now a very confused man in a very similar, but oddly specific jacket that I thought my actual friend had claimed he made himself. Guess not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 223

You deserved it 399

Memory hole

By Anonymous - 30/12/2024 12:00 - United States - San Jose

Today, I confidently walked into what I thought was my friend's apartment for a party, only to find a confused elderly couple staring at me. Turns out, I was not only three doors down from where I thought his front door was, I was also on the wrong floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 453

Stick the landing

By Anonymous - 30/12/2024 03:00 - Canada

Today, I confidently told a funny story during a holiday family dinner. Nobody laughed, except my younger cousin, who snorted so hard at the way I'd flopped into complete silence, he sprayed cranberry sauce across the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 138

Merry Christmas!

By Anonymous - 29/12/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, after mom and dad divorced, remarried people who already had kids, then had more kids, I have 3 siblings, 5 half-siblings, and 3 step-siblings. The reason I’m telling you this is because this Christmas I apparently got lost in the crowd and both mom and dad forgot to buy me a gift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 671

You deserved it 80

Shooting yourself in the foot

By Maryse - 27/12/2024 18:00 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, I randomly hooked up with a hot guy, just to ruin it by saying he’s like my twin brother, and now he won’t reply to my messages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 639

Tipsy

By Jenny - 25/12/2024 16:00 - Canada - Etobicoke

Today, my boyfriend and I went to taste some wine with some friends. I drank a little too much and referred to him as my brother to a random guy. Let’s just say I put a strain on my relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 689

Shoot your shot

By Anonymous - 25/12/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I finally got the courage to ask out the girl I’ve had a crush on for years. I was so nervous, I got confused and sent her a text meant for my best friend that said, "I’m about to ask her out. Pray I don’t puke on her." She responded with a laughing emoji and said, "You really need to work on your game." FML

I agree, your life sucks 183

You deserved it 440

Merry Christmas!

By Anonymous - 25/12/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I showed up at my mom’s with homemade soup, since she said she wasn’t hosting Christmas Eve because she had the flu. My entire family was there without me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 781

You deserved it 105

Smells like defeat

By Sad girl - 23/12/2024 20:00 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I went to a party and met a guy who was super charming. We hit it off, and he seemed really into me. After talking for a while, he leaned in for a kiss, and I thought, "This is it!" But instead of a kiss, he just sniffed my hair, then said, "Wow, you smell just like my mom!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 109

Rip it up and start again

By Anonymous - 23/12/2024 12:00 - Ireland

Today, I finally finished my Christmas shopping and felt like an absolute champion. That was until I got home and realized I'd left one of the shopping bags in the parking lot. The bag contained the most expensive gift I'd bought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 207

Bring your A game

By Anonymous - 23/12/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I spent ages getting dressed up for a date I’ve been excited for. I even put on cologne for the first time in forever. When I arrived at the restaurant, I realized I had forgotten my wallet. I spent the entire meal pretending to be “really into the conversation” while internally panicking about how I was going to pay. It didn't end well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 481

Bad boy

By Sissy - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was standing in a long line at the Post Office when my 3 year-old son started rubbing up and down my leg. I asked him what he was doing and he said loudly, "I'm humping you like Simon humps me!" Everyone looked at me in shocked horror. Simon is our dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 652

You deserved it 3 482

Cool story

By Anonymous - 22/12/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, on our twelfth wedding anniversary, my wife fell asleep at a fine dining restaurant table within seconds of asking me about my exciting job interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 103

The void

By Anonymous - 22/12/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I was trying to flirt with someone in a small bar. I thought they'd smiled at me, so I smiled back. Turns out, they were smiling at their phone screen. I just awkwardly sat there, smiling into the void. FML

I agree, your life sucks 212

You deserved it 292

Rainy day

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - New Zealand

Today, I slipped and fell in mud while running from the car to inside to avoid getting wet in a torrential downpour. I was running from the limo, in my wedding dress, to the church for my wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 053

You deserved it 7 924

Merry Christmas!

By Anonymous - 22/12/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, I drew the short straw to play Santa at the office Christmas party. As I bent down to give my coworker a gift, my "Ho, ho, ho!" turned into "Ow, ow, ow!" because I threw out my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 128

I'm a creep

By Anonymous - 21/12/2024 22:00 - United States - New York

Today, I realized my reflection in the subway window wasn’t just my reflection - it was an actual person sitting outside the train, making the same face as me. We both jumped when we locked eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 109

So, how've you been?

By Is that..? - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Aurora

Today, I ran into a good friend at work. I work at a jail. She doesn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 426

You deserved it 4 974

Take the L

By Chrissy - 20/12/2024 14:00 - Canada

Today, I got a text from my mom that said, "Your dad and I are so proud of you." Sweet, right? It was meant for my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 74

Menace to society

By Uri - 20/12/2024 09:00 - United States - Chattanooga

Today, I sneezed so hard during a meeting that my glasses flew off and hit my boss in the face. Now everyone keeps jokingly ducking every time I look their way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 113

Skill issue

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I walked into the restroom at work to see my boss standing at the urinal, pissing like a toddler. He had his pants around his ankles, ass fully exposed. Now I'm never going to be able to take anything he says seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 729

You deserved it 1 924

Out of step

By inexperienced - 18/12/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I'm 25. I dropped out of college when I was 19 because I didn't fit in. I was developmentally behind and looked like a fifteen year-old. All of high school I was excluded. I'm back in college now, but everyone still feels more mature than me. I no longer look or act young for my age due to years of stress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 382

You deserved it 232

Brain fogged

By boohoo - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Netherlands - Amstelveen

Today, I was on a date with a very intelligent and handsome guy. I was so nervous that when he was telling me about his twin sister, I asked him if they were identical twins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 782

You deserved it 21 366

Mismatched

By Aubs - 13/12/2024 14:00 - United States - Glen Allen

Today, my friends were trying to set me up with one of their other friends. We were texting and I said, “How is your day so far?” He responded with, “Worse.” I said, “Oh no what happened?” You know what he said? “You.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 516

You deserved it 95

GHOSTS!

By fml_anon - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - London

Today, I had to spend a depressingly long time convincing my 29-year-old husband that our house isn't haunted and that the door slammed shut because it was windy outside. I repeat, "29-year-old husband" and "haunted". It's like I'm married to a child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 451

You deserved it 4 428

Blues trio

By Anonymous - 13/12/2024 07:30 - India - Darjeeling

Today, I've been trying to fit into a trio but nothing's working out. Most of the time I'm left alone, then when I talk with one of them, the other one complains about being left out. I don't know how to fit in properly without making one or the other sad or unhappy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 180

You deserved it 391

Nature called

By Anonymous - 12/12/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, I yelled at one of my employees for trying to discreetly slip out of a meeting, and demanded he sit up front so I could make sure he stayed for the whole time. Three minutes later, he shat his pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 1 430

They say romance is dead…

By Anonymous - 11/12/2024 18:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I finally went on a date with a guy who’s been begging to take me out for weeks. I’m terrified of dating but, after consulting with my friends, I decided to give it a shot as he seemed nice. He told me during the date that he has a girlfriend, but he just fantasizes about hooking up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 661

You deserved it 95

Sorry guys, please don't hurt me

By Anonymous - 11/12/2024 09:00 - United States - Eugene

Today, I tried to sneak a snack from the kitchen without waking anyone up. In my stealthy quest for a late night sandwich, I managed to knock over a stack of pots of pans and woke up the entire frat house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 451

Fitness for duty

By Anonymous - 10/12/2024 11:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I fucked up by jacking off. I have trouble getting "in the mood" due to medication and other things, so when I do I'm excited to enjoy myself, though it often takes a while and a lot of physical effort to get there. However, in the process of getting off today, I threw out my back and my hip. I'm only 29. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 168

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I could actually feel my toe hairs flapping in the breeze. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 747

You deserved it 17 467

Today, I visited my girlfriend in the preschool she's interning at. She asked me to continue reading The Little Mermaid to her class, handing me the book. After the story, the whole class started to cry. She never told me to sugarcoat the ending and lie, Disney-style. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 308

You deserved it 608

Today, while having a break up fight with my fiancée, she informed me that the paternity of our unborn child was in question because one of the other guys couldn't remember if he got off or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 518

You deserved it 269

Today, my mom baked cupcakes for my visiting grandparents. Later, I saw my grandpa chowing down on them. Even later, my mom demanded to know why there were a dozen cupcake wrappers on my bed. I've essentially been framed by my own grandpa, and am now grounded for a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 262

You deserved it 2 869

Today, at the small daycare I run, I turned around to put something away. I heard a splashing sound and then saw one of my kids vomiting. He puked several times, and managed to hit the only rug in the entire house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 521

You deserved it 1 994

Today, I hit off with a guy I met on Tumblr, and we moved to Discord to chat. We're just friends, but have things in common. Then I accidentally called him while he was driving by clicking the wrong button, because I forgot how to search things up. Now he thinks I'm a creep. Time to build my walls back up again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 176