Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to help...

By shocked - 25/08/2011 18:10 - United States

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to help me get over the fear of my upcoming rectal exam by surprising me with one of her own halfway through our lovemaking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 786

You deserved it 5 130

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Same thing different taste

Are you experienced?

By Brax - 30/05/2012 09:46 - United States

Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 285

You deserved it 9 431

By imy - 18/10/2011 15:01 - United States

Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 166

You deserved it 9 476

YDI Fosho

By shuffling man - 12/08/2018 01:30

Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted to try anal, praise the lord hallelujah. As we were getting into position, she let out a rancid fart she'd been saving for my face. Apparently it was revenge for me seeing Mamma Mia 2 without her while she was at work yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 425

You deserved it 4 082

By Soline - 08/12/2008 12:05 - France

Today, I wanted to wake up my sweetheart with a surprise blowjob. He surprised me as well with a knee to the stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 259

You deserved it 9 058

Stuff

By BOO! - 25/05/2019 04:00

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 260

You deserved it 413

By Anon. - 01/03/2011 23:51 - United States

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 633

You deserved it 91 094

Mixed emotions

By Glen - 26/02/2025 04:30 - India - Ooty

Today, my girlfriend of 5 months walked in on me naked while I was on the toilet. She proceeded to tell me that she wants to watch me taking a dump. I'm both shocked and too hard to do what she told me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 157

By Anonymous - 25/01/2011 00:30 - United States

Today, my boyfriend had to give me an enema. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 388

You deserved it 4 415

By instinct - 12/06/2013 03:06 - Australia - Doncaster East

Today, after years of faking pleasure with my boyfriend, I visited the gynaecologist. As soon as she touched my privates I instinctively let out a fake moan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 844

You deserved it 78 310

Horny devil

By jimboxo - 26/04/2009 19:15 - United States

Today, my fiancée got out of the shower, completely shaved. I went over to her, wrapped her in a hug and asked her what the occasion was. She pulled away and said that she had a gyno appointment. My fiancée will clean up for the gyno, but not for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 728

You deserved it 10 965

deviable 9

Friday 26 August 2011 2:00

Bow chika bow wow.

9987coldplayfan 1

Friday 26 August 2011 2:06

Did you return the favor?

Comments

AcidLacedBong 5

Friday 26 August 2011 2:11

She's a keeper!!

BrittanyB94 0

Friday 26 August 2011 2:11

Well there's a keeper!

Isoldael 27

Friday 26 August 2011 2:11

Well, at least she was trying to be nice. And who knows, she might let you return the favour (if you're into that)

Midrash 5

Friday 26 August 2011 2:12

Bet you'll never ask her for anal after this.

MangoRico1 1

Friday 26 August 2011 2:13

Guess we know who is in charge now

red1355 6

Friday 26 August 2011 2:18

AWSOME!!!!! Now its her turn...! Lol

lemon_aids 0

Friday 26 August 2011 2:22

surprize buttsecks!

MyScrewedUpLifeS 0

Friday 26 August 2011 4:58

win.

angrymexican 8

Saturday 27 August 2011 20:05

My friend keeps saying that where is it from

david12z 0

Friday 26 August 2011 2:25

Ha ha damn that sucks man but hey atleast she knows you'd never cheat with a guy since you didn't like it.

mazochyst 10

Friday 26 August 2011 2:27

Who says OP didn't like it?

F0xyTurtle 8

Friday 26 August 2011 2:29

The fact that he posted it on FML

twofirstnames 12

Friday 26 August 2011 2:26

If you got a thrill from that, let's not hope it happens in the doctors office..

drloves69 4

Friday 26 August 2011 2:30

yet she won't let you guys try anal. never mind

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The Top

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and I lustfully requested we try doggy style this time. He responded, "No, Jesus wouldn't like that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 348

You deserved it 1 608

Today, I had a crucial volleyball playoff game. My dad came to watch. While in a set, my friend pointed over to the bench where my dad was sitting. I turned to see my dad snoring loudly as a result of him falling asleep. He achieved this with loudly cheering people all around him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 934

You deserved it 99

Today, my mum read a forwarded email, and is now convinced that eating processed food will make my ovaries shrink and disappear. Now she goes batshit crazy if she sees me eating potato chips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 681

You deserved it 2 713

Today, it's 2:23 in the morning, and my drunken girlfriend has just rung me up from a party where she's the only girl there. She seems to be having a great time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 640

You deserved it 2 894

Today, after an extremely stressful day, I took a hot bath when I got home. I used my little sister's bubble bath to make it more enjoyable and relaxing. I then broke out in hives. I guess I'm allergic to bubble bath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 229

You deserved it 670

Today, I asked out the girl of my dreams. She was so excited that she had a severe asthma attack and ended up in hospital. Her answer was yes, but her parents won't let me anywhere near her now. They say I'm lucky they haven't sued me for "trying to kill her". FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 120

You deserved it 2 852

Same thing different taste

Are you experienced?

YDI Fosho

Stuff

Mixed emotions

Horny devil

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