Random Spicy

Home movies

By Ex-girlfried - 06/09/2009 23:15 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's family came over and I thought it would be fun to watch old family videos of when I was a kid. A few minutes into my fifth birthday party, I excused myself and went to grab some snacks for everyone. I returned to realize I had recorded porn over my family videos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 695

You deserved it 69 026

Is it getting hot in here or is it just me?

By Anonymous - 23/08/2023 15:00 - United States

Today, I sent my fuckbuddy a sexy message about what I wanted to do in bed with him next time we meet. He responded with, "oki doki". FML

I agree, your life sucks 293

You deserved it 499

By boob sisters - 02/07/2014 17:01 - United States - Lilburn

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs. I quickly found out that I'd accidentally sent it to my sister instead. She sent me one back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 824

You deserved it 29 385

By Anonymous - 05/12/2010 05:09 - United States

Today, while at my mom's birthday dinner, I started to pretend to drum with one hand, using my left leg as the drums. Everybody stared at me and started to yell. Now they all think I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 382

You deserved it 11 915

By ...... - 08/10/2011 02:40 - United States

Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 540

You deserved it 3 776

By unlucky_vee_13 - 23/02/2009 22:02 - United States

Today, I was talking to my 81-year-old widowed grandmother on the phone, and she told me she was giving up sex for lent. Not only do I now have a vision of my grandma having sex, I am reminded that she is having more sex than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 257

You deserved it 5 067

Greatest prank ever

By Anonymous - 10/01/2023 19:00 - United States - Yakima

Today, while I was mid-act with my girlfriend, my mom unlocked my bedroom door and came in shaking maracas. She then handed them to my very shocked girlfriend and told her these were the "Busted maracas" and directed her to pass them along accordingly. Well, at least our first time was memorable… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 471

You deserved it 373

By SweetStuff88 - 15/11/2012 13:37 - United States

Today, my girlfriend admitted to me that she has been sleeping with someone on her girls basketball team, which at first turned me on. Then I found out he's the team manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 618

You deserved it 9 725

By great - 25/01/2013 20:36 - Puerto Rico - San Juan

Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 795

You deserved it 6 588

I have sex

By Anonymous - 05/08/2013 17:58 - United States - Athens

Today, I wore a bikini to the lake with my parents. I didn't know that my back was covered in bruises, and ended up having to awkwardly explain to my parents that I am not in an abusive relationship; the bruises came from the sex I had last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 553

You deserved it 16 308

One day…

By Animal - 24/02/2011 19:14 - Canada

Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 306

You deserved it 17 116

Big kid

By Anonymous - 08/09/2012 14:20 - United States - Rhodes

Today, I told my husband that I'm tired of feeling like his "blow-up doll". His response was to honk my boob and make squeaking noises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 416

You deserved it 5 729

By frustrated! - 06/02/2013 06:01 - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me a freak for wanting to have sex for a second night in a row. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 994

You deserved it 6 135

By Anonymous - 08/04/2016 21:01 - United States - East Orange

Today, I asked a customer for a number we could call her at to let her know when we'd finished fixing her PC. I'm so desperately lonely that when she wrote it down for me, I got a raging boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 495

You deserved it 5 541

By Anonymous - 25/11/2017 06:00

Today, I was getting one of the best blow jobs I have ever received. My girlfriend was getting into it when I heard an "uh oh". Her tongue ring got twisted around the hair close to my balls. She started to pull, I started to scream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 042

You deserved it 1 809

By Anonymous - 14/10/2017 06:00

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my phone rang. We continued to have sex while I took the call. It was my gyno calling to tell me that I tested positive for chlamydia and that I needed to tell my partner. Yeah, sex ended real quick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 953

You deserved it 9 404

Alone time

By Anonymous - 21/10/2015 12:12 - Philippines - Quezon City

Today, as I snuck downstairs for a midnight movie, I witnessed my dad "polishing his wand" to Harry Potter porn in the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 991

You deserved it 3 781

By mc_dreamy - 21/08/2010 16:49 - United States

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 678

You deserved it 16 057

Experimentation

By Anonymous - 12/10/2012 23:39 - United States - Salem

Today, I walked in on my brother sticking his erect penis through a donut. I doubt I'll ever be able to unsee this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 897

You deserved it 3 414

Good one, thanks

By Madeline Lee - 09/04/2012 21:34 - France - Pessac

Today, I woke up to the sight of a zucchini and a condom on my bedside table, along with a note saying, "I know it's tough being single." Apparently my mom has boundary issues, my dad will laugh at anything, and the fact I just got dumped means nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 719

You deserved it 3 045

By Boned...hard - 28/01/2010 00:09 - France

Today, after confessing my love for my best friend, he looked at me and said "I'm not feeling it. But does this mean we can have sex?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 642

You deserved it 3 646

By Grosssss - 15/07/2016 16:08 - United States - Harrisonburg

Today, I found out that whenever my roommate's friend-with-benefits comes over, he uses my bikini trimmer to shave his pubic hair. I've been using that trimmer for months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 138

You deserved it 1 284

Please do it

By Anonymous - 25/01/2020 18:00

Today, it was my last day with my boyfriend before he went to college. At the store, he got a huge box of condoms. When I asked why he was getting so many, he said they were for the girls he meets at college. He then asked me to steal them for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 410

You deserved it 385

Get the hint

By -.- - 24/08/2013 23:54 - United States

Today, I suggestively asked my boyfriend to take a shower with me. He got in, washed himself, and got out, ignoring me the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 324

You deserved it 8 113

Meow meow

By failed_catgirl - 19/10/2010 23:24 - Canada

Today, for my boyfriend's 19th birthday, I decided to dress up as a sexy cat girl for him, complete with ears, tail, matching sexy underwear, collar and leash. He wouldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 509

You deserved it 38 957

What a feeling!

By numbcrumb - 18/09/2017 23:15

Today, I discovered I have a condition that causes loss of feeling in my clitoris during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 971

You deserved it 311

By ManderDander - 05/09/2015 18:48 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend was putting baby powder on my bare ass, when his dad walked into the room, casually set a laundry basket next to the bed, and walked out like nothing happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 974

You deserved it 8 211

By Anonymous - 28/12/2017 06:00

Today, I went home with a guy I met at the bar. I warned him that I was on my period, but he said it was fine. Not only was the sex awful, I woke up to find that he'd smeared period blood on my face in the dark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 950

You deserved it 7 198

By Noname - 12/03/2009 09:06 - Philippines

Today, I was running late for work so instead of walking the ten minutes to the office, I took a taxi. The driver took the opportunity to share the story of his first sexual experience with a man. In great detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 002

You deserved it 14 562

Not that into you

By Anonymous - 27/06/2023 12:00

Today, my girlfriend won’t give me oral because she doesn't like pubes, so I trimmed them; she refused again because they felt prickly, so I waxed them. Now she says I look like a little boy. If she doesn’t want to suck cock, why won’t she just say so instead of hinting she might if I shaved? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 338

You deserved it 417

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The Top

Today, I had to make a choice between being kept awake by the heat, or the cackling seagulls outside my window. I still don't know what's worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 738

You deserved it 1 296

Today, at my first day working at Walmart, a customer asked if we have any egg cookers. I said I wasn't sure, but that I'd be "eggstatic" to go ask for him. The first clue I got to suggest he hated puns was him yelling "Don't get smart with me, boy!" and then threatening to kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 023

You deserved it 10 182

Today, the company I applied for called up congratulating me in getting the job. I was ecstatic. Quickly enough I texted a few mates that I'd got the job. Twenty minutes later they called again, saying the trainee had accidentally called the wrong applicant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 591

You deserved it 2 982

Today, I was doing an online live exam with the camera on when the power suddenly went out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 024

You deserved it 74

Today, I dragged my entire family to the beach for a swim. I don’t know what was up with the tides but the water was all over the place as soon as we came near. FML

I agree, your life sucks 316

You deserved it 43

Today, I discovered that you can't always assume your little brother is kidding when he says that you have a spider on top of your head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 440

You deserved it 5 909