The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year

The all-time greatest FMLs

This is fine

By Anonymous - 21/07/2025 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was dealing with my nightmares quite efficiently by drinking right before I go to sleep, presto, no nightmares and no problems when I woke up. My girlfriend decided to make a whole issue of it by telling my parents, who planned an intervention and want me to waste time seeing a therapist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 153

You deserved it 628

Classic blunder

By Anonymous - 09/08/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I was grocery shopping when I left my cart to grab an item. I returned, and started pushing the cart again. Halfway through the store, a furious lady confronted me, demanding her cart back. I had to walk back in shame to find my own actual cart, which was now nowhere to be found. FML

I agree, your life sucks 153

You deserved it 491

Dr Phil

By Anonymous - 11/08/2024 20:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was in a crowded elevator and, like any sane person, eavesdropped on the couple in front of me. The guy was breaking up with his girlfriend, and she was crying. As they got off, I patted her on the back and said, "You can do better, honey." It wasn’t until the doors closed that I realized I had just encouraged my boss's wife to leave him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 153

You deserved it 563

Spoiler alert

By Anonymous - 01/02/2023 00:00

Today, I spoiled the ending of my favorite show for my friend, so now I'm banned from watching or discussing it with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 153

You deserved it 1 437

Uncoordinated

By Synneve - 18/07/2024 20:00 - Norway

Today, I tried to catch a rogue soccer ball at the park. I sprinted, leapt into the air, and managed to catch it. I also managed to trip on a picnic blanket, crash into a stroller (which was thankfully empty), and fall face-first into a salad bowl full of potato salad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 153

You deserved it 550

Got milk?

By Bro - 09/07/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I tried to discreetly smell a carton of milk to see if it had gone bad. I squeezed it a little too hard and it sprayed directly into my face. My roommate walked into the kitchen at that exact moment, then silently walked back out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 153

You deserved it 256

Riding bike on ice...

By Lewis - 25/01/2019 00:30 - France - Paris

This is some kind of déjà vu.

I agree, your life sucks 153

You deserved it 403

Sexy talk

By Anonymous - 29/12/2025 20:00

Today, after my cute girlfriend got out of the shower and was walking over to our bed. I asked, "Now that you're all clean, want to sit on my face?" To which she replied, "Ya sure, I've not gone poop yet." FML

I agree, your life sucks 153

You deserved it 300

Risky

By Anonymous - 20/08/2021 10:01

Today, I poured gas around my house for pest control. I can still smell it from inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 153

You deserved it 1 923

Forget me not

By Anonymous - 27/05/2026 22:00 - Lebanon

Today, I discovered my childhood crush's account after mourning our separation for years. I texted him and I introduced myself to him. I thought he would be as surprised and excited, but unfortunately he'd forgotten all about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 152

You deserved it 347

Salt and vinegar?

By Teddy - 26/08/2023 06:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I attended a virtual meeting and forgot to mute myself while I was eating crisps. The crunching sounds were so loud that everyone in the meeting started imitating them. It became the most unproductive yet hilarious meeting ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 152

You deserved it 803

I'm too old for this shit

By HateCelebz - 15/09/2023 06:00

Today, I went out for drinks with two 18 year-old girls and a 30 year-old woman. I'm 53, and wanted to hook up with the 30 year-old. She got drunk after an hour and went home in a taxi, meanwhile the two 18 year-olds drank me under the table. I'm sat with them trying to sober up so I can walk home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 152

You deserved it 1 043

How the other half lives

By They're children, they want to play - 18/02/2026 12:00

Today, I got a noise complaint about "loud stomping" in my apartment disturbing the tenant below. I guess I'm supposed to tell my sweet children that they are no longer allowed to play in their own home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 152

You deserved it 706

Long time coming, probably

By Anonymous - 13/11/2025 03:00

Today, to punish my wife for disrespecting me in front of my friends, I told her I wasn't going to help with the baby tonight. When I woke up, she and my baby were gone with nothing more than a text saying she was speaking to a divorce lawyer. Over one night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 152

You deserved it 1 622

Thirty demons

By Tech BS - 15/04/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I’m a high school teacher and I finally learned how to use the smartboard properly. I connected my laptop to demonstrate a lesson… and projected the last thing I had open: a half-written email complaining about how loud this exact class is. Thirty teenagers read it in silence. One kid raised his hand and said, “Fair.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 152

You deserved it 427

Brave

By Shyboy - 14/02/2026 15:00

Today, I worked up the courage to ask a question in a packed lecture hall. The professor repeated my question, except he'd misheard me and rephrased it into something wildly incorrect. The class laughed. Instead of correcting him, I nodded. Now half the class thinks I don’t understand the difference between correlation and causation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 152

You deserved it 261

Anonymous is typing…

By Anonymous - 02/05/2023 06:00 - United Kingdom - Hounslow

Today, I finally wrote a DM to the girl I'm in love with, telling her not to say yes if her ex asked her out, and instead to go out with me. I then chickened out and deleted the message, but then realised she'd still get the notification on her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 152

You deserved it 913

We all grow to become what we hate

By Anonymous - 27/12/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I put on my support undies, comfortable shoes, glasses, and my warm cardigan, walked the dog, did some gardening, gossiped with my neighbour, gave their kids some sweets, and ignored my husband because I’m mad at him. That’s when I realised I really have turned into my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 152

You deserved it 621

Gentleman

By Screwed - 10/07/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, a girl I’ve been fucking told me she’s pregnant after she told me she took the pill. What she really meant was, “Oh, that pill? That was Advil ‘cause I get headaches.” The bitch knows I have a wife and kids. She callously said, “Should've been more specific.” She can’t understand why I’m freaking out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 152

You deserved it 2 037

Hang in there

By Ethan - 29/01/2025 00:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I leaned back in my chair during a meeting to appear (and feel) more relaxed. Instead, the chair tipped over, and I went down like a tree in slow motion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 152

You deserved it 473

It's toasted

By Carolyn - 14/09/2023 22:00

Today, I opened the preheated oven to discover the chicken casserole I made last week is now sludge. The freshly toasted maggots are scattered all over the oven. I took the casserole out, but didn't have my glasses on to see the maggots before placing the pan of biscuits inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 152

You deserved it 1 058

I am lost, I think

By Anonymous - 13/02/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I walked into a store, grabbed a shopping cart, and started browsing. After 15 seconds, I realized I was in the wrong store. The cashier watched as I awkwardly returned my cart and walked out like I totally meant to do that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151

You deserved it 363

Karma?

By Anonymous - 30/10/2023 08:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, the day after I bragged about never having a car accident in my life, I mistakenly put my car into Drive instead of Reverse and crashed into my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151

You deserved it 553

Hello?

By Anonymous - 17/07/2024 16:00 - Canada

Today, I butt-dialed my ex-boyfriend while venting to my best friend about how hot but emotionally unavailable he is. I realized this when there was a lull in the conversation and I heard his tinny little voice coming out of the phone, saying, "I can hear you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 151

You deserved it 561

Disassociating

By Anonymous - 24/07/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I bought noise-cancelling headphones to help me focus while working from home. They're amazing. I can no longer hear my timer, my doorbell, or my smoke alarm when I burn my lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151

You deserved it 315

How red are these flags?

By Anonymous - 25/07/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I'm in a situation where I'm in a relationship, but he doesn't talk to me at all. He love-bombed me at first, and now I'm not sure how to even talk to him. I hardly know anything about him. I wanna break up but we got together like two months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151

You deserved it 619

Attempted good deed

By Anonymous - 15/08/2024 06:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I saw a woman who I thought was pregnant on the bus. Trying to be nice, I offered her my seat and congratulated her. She wasn't pregnant, just holding a large bag of groceries. The entire bus heard me and the death glare she gave could’ve turned me to stone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151

You deserved it 532

Billie Jean

By Anonymous - 28/11/2025 15:00

Today, despite my warnings, my mother continues to go see my ex's son and encourage her to get more child support from me. They both say that because I signed the birth certificate, that makes that baby mine. I don't think he is, and I'm currently with someone else, with my first real son on the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151

You deserved it 625

BURNED

By Sarah - 19/12/2025 09:00

Today, I reheated leftover pasta at work. I forgot to crack a vent on the container and it exploded in the microwave. Sauce coated the inside, so I spent my lunch break scrubbing while coworkers waited awkwardly to heat their food. The smell is still hanging in the office air. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151

You deserved it 324

Lost in music

By Anonymous - 12/01/2025 09:00 - United Kingdom - Bath

Today, I had my earbuds in while walking to work. I was so into a particular song that I didn't notice I was singing out loud despite people being around. A random jogger gave me a thumbs-up and said, "Shit voice, wrong lyrics." FML

I agree, your life sucks 151

You deserved it 498

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Birthday Family Miscellaneous Cute Friends Relatable My ex I need your advice Love NSFW Awkward Sex Intimacy Scary Technology Annoying Work Money Capitalism Embarrassing Divorce Education Health Sports Abuse Kids Hospital Wanker Addiction Management

The Top

Today, I was freshening up my makeup in the car before a date. An old lady walked by and said through my open window, "Don't bother. There's no helping you, honey." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 283

You deserved it 4 568

Today, I visited my friend in a nasty part of town. When I saw the shattered window of the car next to me, and the missing stereo, I moved my car to a safer location. Luckily, though, I have a common car, so the thieves were able to jimmy the lock and steal my stereo without making any noise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 765

You deserved it 3 233

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because of a video game. Not that I was playing the game too much, but because she got addicted to it and decided that the game was more important than our relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 844

You deserved it 369

Today, after years of telling my sister she's crazy for thinking our parents have been playing favorites all our lives, with me being the favorite, I saw in their will I got the house, both cars, and all their money. Meanwhile, all she got mom's old clothes, "if she can fit in them." FML

I agree, your life sucks 914

You deserved it 505

Today, like every day, everyone blew up my phone at once and I began having a panic attack. Because I didn’t respond immediately, I was called rude and a bad person. Turning off my phone isn’t an option either, because my mom will come in my room and cuss me out for not responding to her texts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 700

You deserved it 968

Today, after many comments over years about her needing to lose weight, I had to tell the woman I love, the woman I married, that she had gotten so overweight that the sight of her naked made me want to puke. Apparently her goal was to get so fat I'd stop asking for sex. I'm her third divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 205