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The all-time greatest FMLs

Partaaaaaaaay !

By Anonymous - 11/02/2021 23:01 - Germany

Today, being unemployed and under lockdown, my idea of a party is driving to the dentist and turning the sound system up in my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 139

Rules and regulations

By Anonymous - 29/03/2022 04:00

Today, I moved into a new home with a HOA, and on the first night I received a copy of the HOA rules as thick as a phone book. I already regret moving here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 455

Entitled

By Anonymous - 18/06/2023 15:00

Today, I know my ex has spoiled our daughter. How do I know this? Because I got her a low level job at the same company as me, got her first paycheck and legit asked me, “Is that it? Where’s the rest of my money?” What rest of her money? That’s her wages for a months work. Curse my rich ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 227

Manipulation

By Klaus - 02/07/2023 22:00

Today, my girlfriend of over a year said, "Being loved by you is the most beautiful thing I've ever experienced. I'm so thankful I now know how it feels to be treated with kindness…" Then the word "but" and her abusive, estranged husband's name were uttered in the same sentence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 157

Sensitive

By fragile - 06/07/2022 14:00

Today, the reality of how shattered my mental health is truly hit me when I spent ten minutes crying after a bot beat me at a card game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 264

Always with you

By Anonymous - 26/07/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I hung up the phone and went to tell my dad that I’d finished switching all the utilities into my name. Then I remembered I was switching them into my name because of his death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 75

Buttmunch

By Anonymous - 24/04/2023 06:00

Today, my boyfriend came back from basic training, gave me a kiss, turned me around, pulled down my pants to eat my ass, and said, "I missed this." Thanks, I'm glad you missed my asshole over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 522

Venting

By Anonymous - 19/02/2024 20:00

Today, I found out my girlfriend, who absolutely would never cheat on me because she’s been cheated on in the past and knows how much it hurts, has not one but two boyfriends on the side, who know about each other and do occasional threesomes. Lying bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 157

Wait til you're 50

By Seriously - 08/01/2023 18:00 - United States

Today, I've reached the age where I get really dizzy and my vision blurs if I stand up too fast. I'm 19 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 224

Bad sign

By Filing for divorce - 27/11/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, my husband thought I was still asleep while he was getting ready for work. How do I know? I watched him grab a condom out of his nightstand and put it in his lunchbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 105

Lonely, so lonely…

By Anonymous - 23/04/2022 14:00

Today, as I watched my male and female dogs frolic, play, and lick each other, it occurred to me there's more love and romance between them than I have ever had in my whole damned life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 181

I hate my job

By Moo - 25/05/2022 14:00

Today, awaiting the end of my shift at a call centre, I received my last call. The caller had a riddle: “What’s a cow’s favorite place to go? The moooo-vies!” He then laughed like a hyena and hung up. I wish I could pay my rent with riddles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 149

Fun for all the family

By Anonymous - 14/04/2021 02:00

Today, my mom and dad got into a fight, during which my dad said to my mom that her health conditions were of her own doing. Because of that, I got pissed and had a fight with my dad, taking my mom's side. Turns out, my mom took his side and ratted me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 291

Weird friendship, but OK

By Anonymous - 29/06/2021 14:01

Today, I'm completely in love with my best friend, who I've known for over 10 years. I can't get him out of my head. Too bad he's married, with 2 kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 475

Don't touch me, bitch

By Grace - 14/11/2020 23:02

Today, I found out that when you try to pick up my cat, its response is to let out the most stinky fart it can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 229

Disproportionate response

By pick up after your dog you lazy piece of shit! - 09/06/2023 00:00

Today, having such terrible social anxiety and being terrified of confrontation, I confided in my apartment's maintenance man about my neighbor not picking up her dog’s poop. He assured me he’d handle it. He reported her to the leasing office, and now she and her kids are getting evicted. I feel bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 796

You deserved it 295

One law for me…

By Anonymous - 21/12/2020 17:02 - Australia

Today, I got disciplined for sleeping on night shifts, by my boss, who also sleeps on night shifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 796

You deserved it 405

The '80s called

By Anonymous - 20/03/2021 13:59

Today, I received three phone calls and three long and rather monotonous messages on my answering machine. Literally monotonous. As in, repeating the same tone over and over. The caller was a fax machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 796

You deserved it 103

Life imitates art

By Anonymous - 02/05/2025 12:00 - United Kingdom - Castleford

Today, so you know how in the movies there’s a dad who discovers he’s not actually the dad because they had to get a DNA test, and it’s funny because it’s all just a movie. Real life isn’t that funny. My twin boys had to go to hospital for blood tests and so on, and it turns out they’re not mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 796

You deserved it 78

Pour some more funny!

By Bruce - 12/03/2023 00:00

Today, my alcoholic friend, who is now sober, told me I was a lot more fun when he was drinking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 796

You deserved it 163

Tact

By FalkensLabyrinth - 04/02/2021 01:57 - United States - Gardner

Today, my mother offered to give my overweight girlfriend the workout DVDs that she no longer needs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 796

You deserved it 217

Haunting

By Anonymous - 01/09/2023 22:00

Today, an ambulance took away the woman from next door. I thought that the flat was empty since I’d never seen her, but turns out she’d been dead for 2 years. She died in bed, meaning every time I went to sleep in my bed she was only 2 feet away on the other side of the wall. I’m now super creeped out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 796

You deserved it 178

Corporate task management

By Anonymous - 31/05/2023 10:00 - India - Puducherry

Today, I got a complaint that I'm not performing as usual at my work. That's when I realised it was because I now prioritise my sleep and life over staying awake late at night to learn from the offshore team. I used to work during the ungodly hours of 2am to 7am daily and was then a zombie for the whole day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 796

You deserved it 140

Stuck

By Anonymous - 25/03/2021 20:01

Today, my grandma and her neighbor compared their sports bras in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 796

You deserved it 125

What logic is that?

By Anonymous - 01/07/2022 16:00

Today, my parents lectured me on whether it was a good idea to let my girlfriend stay at the home of her ex boyfriend… and his husband. I’m 44 and trust her. My parents didn’t trust this logic and doubled down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 796

You deserved it 324

Be careful what you post on the Internet…

By Anonymous - 26/06/2019 12:13 - Canada - Vaudreuil

Today, my 10-year-old son's friend googled his name and found breastfeeding pictures that I had put on a personal website when he was 2 days old. Now he gets laughed at, and his friends all saw pictures of my breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 795

You deserved it 3 860

What does it all mean?

By Anonymous - 20/10/2022 16:00

Today, I once again realized that I have no idea what I am supposed to do in this life, and don't know what to do with myself. I just live because that's the easiest thing to do, and try to entertain myself while searching for meaning. The meaning to my life; what I should pursue. I've been searching for a long time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 795

You deserved it 305

Alexa, play "Get The Message" by Electronic

By Anonymous - 11/04/2021 00:30 - United Kingdom - Banchory

Today, it became apparent that telling your crush you like them isn't worth a response. I mean after all it's not like I'm sitting here not thinking about them and hoping for something to happen. No no, a simple "No thanks" is too much hard work for some. FML

I agree, your life sucks 795

You deserved it 404

Recycle this!

By Anonymous - 07/05/2021 00:01

Today, I ordered and paid for a compost bin to be emptied in addition to the garbage. Turns out most of what I wanted to put in there – although perfectly compostable – is not allowed in the bin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 795

You deserved it 184

Reel to real

By Anonymous - 05/08/2023 20:00 - Tunisia - El Fahs

Today, the date I was supposed to go on got pushed back for a week, because she told me she was too sick to go out. A bit later, she posted a reel of her out with friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 795

You deserved it 95

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The Top

Today, I discovered how pathetically introverted I am when during a car ride with my family, I said, "I really like this song" and my parents gasped because they didn't realize I was in the back seat. And I'm their only child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 079

You deserved it 2 567

Today, I paid a social visit to my grandparents. While we were watching the news, a story came on about the Queen of England. I scoffed, "How is she not dead already? How old is she, anyway?" My grandmother replied, "About my age." Oops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 563

You deserved it 42 819

Today, I went grocery shopping. As I was leaning in to pick up some produce, someone viciously slapped me on the butt. I whirled around and nobody was anywhere in sight. Now I'm starting to worry that I'm losing my mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 250

You deserved it 2 895

Today, I was relaxing at home while my boyfriend played with his hamster. After a while of silence, my boyfriend came over and put his fingers next to my face. Trying to be cute, I stuck his fingers in my mouth and sucked on them. Turns out he was trying to show me how bad hamster pee smells. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 625

You deserved it 53 673

Today, I found my car had been robbed. The thieves stole my GPS, my iPod and my digital camera. While I was filing the police report, the officer recommended I take photos for insurance purposes. Then she remembered my camera had been stolen. She actually started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 061

You deserved it 5 396

Today, I tried doing a hair dye at home for the first time. I misread the instructions and left the dye on for twice the recommended time. Now my hair is the color of a traffic cone and brittle enough to break if I sneeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks 149

You deserved it 570