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Small pleasures mean a lot

By Chocolate Croissant - 13/04/2026 20:00 - Austria - Vienna

Today, I think I had a mini orgasm when the baker told me that the chocolate croissant I'd just chosen was still warm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 229

You deserved it 140

Shadowboxing

By Fuck space exploration give me human rights - 02/04/2026 09:00

Today, my whole family was so excited about watching the Artemis II launch and scolded me for not mustering more enthusiasm. Great, we can go to space now… so anytime someone talks about real issues like climate change or racism, we'll hear, "Well just go to space then" or "Space will solve our problems." FML

I agree, your life sucks 229

You deserved it 497

BBFs

By Anonymous - 19/10/2025 15:00

Today, I was hanging with my lesbian friend, who I am secretly in love with. I bought her flowers, took her out to eat, and we held hands all through dinner. We met up with our friends later and she told them what we did, then said, "Isn't she the best friend ever? I'm so glad I have an honorary sister like her." FML

I agree, your life sucks 229

You deserved it 380

Confused

By I…… - 10/12/2025 20:00

Today, I ran into someone at a party I thought was a coworker and started talking to them about the company we work for. He listened to me for a bit, then said, “I think you think I’m someone else.” I apologized to this total stranger, walked away, and spent the rest of the party avoiding him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 228

You deserved it 170

Gross

By Anonymous - 21/02/2026 20:00

Today, I learned what my husband's "little side hustle" that he started is about. He's been using his gaming PC to generate disgusting AI porn movies with shit like monsters fucking women and other sick shit. It's like a sleazy Breaking Bad. Hope he enjoys the movies, because he's never getting sex again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 227

You deserved it 273

Mixed messages

By Anonymous - 16/03/2026 22:00

Today, I heard my downstairs neighbor pounding on her roof/my floor. I thought she was being a Karen and wanting me to be quiet, even though I wasn’t doing anything. I stomped back defiantly to make a point. Turns out she was having an asthma attack and was asking for help. Oops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 227

You deserved it 329

Pleased to meet you

By Anonymous - 19/05/2026 22:00 - Canada - Calgary

Today, it's been 3 days since I matched with someone online and have been crafting witty, charming messages. We finally agreed to meet, and the second I walked into the café, I realized he was the bartender who'd already seen me cry there after a breakup six months earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 226

You deserved it 197

Hey good lookin'

By Anonymous - 30/08/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I was doing squats at the gym. I caught my reflection in the mirror, got distracted by how awkward I looked, and lost my balance. I fell backward onto a medicine ball, rolled into another person’s legs, and took them down with me. We ended up in a sweaty heap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 226

You deserved it 284

Firehose

By Anonymous - 25/06/2026 03:00 - United States - Cleveland

Today, my is still peeing on the toilet seat and floor. When will it get better? My son is 18 years-old and apparently can’t aim in the toilet. I had to sit on the pee he left on the toilet seat the other day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 226

You deserved it 323

I have no idea what I'm doing

By Jeff78 - 03/10/2025 15:00

Today, I pulled up to a drive-thru speaker and my brain misfired and I said, “Thanks, I love you!” to the employee after she handed me my order. She replied, “We just met, but okay dude.” I put my food on the passenger seat and quickly scuttled off in my busted ass Toyota. FML

I agree, your life sucks 225

You deserved it 270

Toxic waste

By Anonymous - 27/08/2025 15:00 - United States - North Hollywood

Today, while apartment hunting with my boyfriend, I needed to use the bathroom. We were on our own and no toilet paper. Fortunately I carry wipes with me, because I had to more than just pee. All was fine, until I tried to flush and realized the water was turned off. The next person will get quite the surprise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 225

You deserved it 397

One hand clapping

By Anonymous - 06/01/2026 20:00

Today, I woke up earlier than most days, I spooned my wife, gently massaging her back and letting her feel I was ready for play. She finally woke up, got dressed, and didn’t give a damn. I had to work it out myself once again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 223

You deserved it 304

You've got mail

By Anonymous - 10/04/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I got a write up from HR because the new boss says we have to check our e-mail everyday, and I missed checking my e-mail for one single day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 222

You deserved it 372

Cheeky

By Anonymous - 01/01/2026 15:00

Today, I learned that my kids refer to my much older fiancé as my “Emotional support corpse.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 222

You deserved it 424

Flexing

By Bastard - 20/07/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, my ex told me that he'd spent $5k on a "VIP Pass" for some kind of music festival next year. My son and I live in poverty and barely squeak by, and this bastard would rather be a rich festival bro than help. He's 36, why the fuck does he want to go to festivals now anyway? FML

I agree, your life sucks 222

You deserved it 421

Deviant Art

By Chae - 18/02/2026 09:00

Today, I got a request to draw a sexual art of a fictional character. Obviously, because that’s my job, I spent five hours doing it. I gave it to the person and it turns out it was a creepy guy I know and he tried to flirt with me by saying, “You are much hotter than her,… Girl.” I’m non-binary and only sleep with girls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 221

You deserved it 202

Cross examination

By don't know what to feel - 11/08/2026 00:00 - United States - New York

Today, my husband told me the hottest thing I'd ever done was when he pranked me, saying he was in legal trouble, and I told him what to do to stay out of jail. As he put it, I'm "a sexy Saul Goodman." FML

I agree, your life sucks 220

You deserved it 112

It's our house, bitch

By Scared - 16/02/2026 00:00

Today, I've been trying to train the cats not to sleep on the bed, which is hard because they all adore my husband. I woke up in the middle of the night to him sleeping on his stomach and all three lying on him, staring daggers at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 220

You deserved it 336

Better safe than sorry

By Anonymous - 14/11/2025 12:00

Today, I was going over my vaccinations when I spotted that I hadn't gotten my Covid vaccine since last year. Not a big deal, my doctor hadn't made a mention of it on the last visit, and I got my flu shot last month. At least it wouldn't be a big deal if my friend hadn't tested positive for Covid last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 220

You deserved it 299

Back to the 9 to 5

By Anonymous - 22/05/2026 12:00 - New Zealand - Palmerston North

Today, I got the biopsy results from a weird mole I had removed. It's completely harmless, and I have nothing to worry about. My first reaction was disappointment, because I'll have to keep going to work instead of starting cancer treatment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 220

You deserved it 293

Pranks are shit

By milk plz - 13/02/2026 12:00

Today, my wife got me back for hiding a realistic tarantula replica in her underwear drawer. She ground up hot peppers and horseradish and shoved it in my mouth while I slept. I woke up screaming in pain and went to the hospital before she confessed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 220

You deserved it 402

Magical mystery tour

By Weird - 18/08/2026 03:00 - United States - Galveston

Today, I opened my fridge and found a single lemon, three sauces, and a 9V battery. I have no idea why the battery was there. I don't remember putting it there. I also don't remember owning anything that requires that particular battery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 219

You deserved it 93

Let's get it on

By None of that means consent to sex - 08/04/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I told my husband that I didn't feel like sex. He said, "Funny, I didn't feel like driving to the store for your milkshake earlier, or digging up the flowerbed, or deep cleaning your car, but I did all that to make you happy. Don't I deserve a little reciprocation?" Jesus Christ, I married an asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 219

You deserved it 1 402

Anger management

By Wife of a moron - 03/09/2025 15:00 - United States - New York

Today, I watched my husband attempt to make Cup Noodles. He used the Keurig to make hot water, instead of the kettle or microwave, then he burned himself trying to pour it, got angry, and smashed the mug and the noodles. I married this man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 219

You deserved it 362

Birds of a feather

By Anonymous - 08/08/2026 09:00 - United States - Tampa

Today, my husband went to grab a DoorDash order while I decided to gift some cigarettes, some leftover pizza from lunch, and a few dollars to a sweet traveler. As I got back into the car, my husband said, "I was about to say 'Look a the homeless congregation', then I realized it was you and that lady." FML

I agree, your life sucks 219

You deserved it 96

Gloom and doom

By FTheWorld - 01/07/2026 20:00 - Germany

Today, there's a huge heat wave, all because corporations were reckless and accelerated climate change. Now, more people are buying more air conditioners, further worsening the climate crisis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 218

You deserved it 450

Trickster

By Anonymous - 14/07/2026 15:00 - United Kingdom - Bath

Today, at an annual summer family event, I showed my family a magic trick I'd practiced for weeks. The grand finale involved making a coin disappear. Instead, I launched it into my uncle's soup. He digged it out with his spoon, then looked at me and asked if it was for keeps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 218

You deserved it 190

Make it stop

By Christ on.a bike - 21/12/2025 15:00

Today, I wore my Christmas sweater to work, one with lights sewn into it. Halfway through a meeting, they started flashing uncontrollably and playing tinny carols. I couldn’t turn them off. I had to go shove the whole sweater into a locker in the basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 217

You deserved it 316

Unrequited

By Cannneverwinsmh - 30/09/2025 15:00

Today, I once again listened as the girl I've loved for the past three years ranted about how she’s gonna be single forever and give up on dating. She asked, “Isn’t there one guy out there, just ONE GUY who will love me and cherish me?” When I brought up that I, once again, would love to do so, she rejected me; AGAIN. FML

I agree, your life sucks 216

You deserved it 612

Same as it ever was

By Anonymous - 01/05/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, at my high school reunion, my old bully tried to apologize but I told her to fuck off. She wouldn't leave me alone, so I purposely spilled my drink on her. I got kicked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 215

You deserved it 586

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The Top

Today, I woke up with a pounding headache. My wife tells me that last night I woke up from a nightmare, screaming, tried to run away, and knocked myself out running headfirst into the bedroom wall. So she put me back to bed and went back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 548

You deserved it 2 276

Today, I was at a wedding reception with loud music. A guy told me that his sister couldn't be there because she "went home to be with her boy." I said, "That's too bad, she's missing a great party." He paused and repeated, "She went home to be with her LORD." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 286

You deserved it 4 817

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. He was so nervous, he broke down in tears after failing to unclasp my bra after multiple fumbling attempts. Mood? Ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 790

You deserved it 6 011

Today, I found a schedule in my dorm room that I share with three other guys. Looking at it closer, I realized it was my schedule with notes written in all around it. My roommates have planned their entire days around mine so we won't have any interaction at all. I thought we got along great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 747

You deserved it 3 960

Today, I went to visit my parents after 4 years of not seeing them. They'd moved without telling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 824

You deserved it 19 627

Today, we had a group of friends over, as well as my grandma. She started talking about me when I was a kid, when I suddenly heard her saying, "Well, yeah, she wasn’t a beautiful child, not at all, she looked.… OK." FML

I agree, your life sucks 876

You deserved it 106