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    : 320



    Quality family vacation

    Anonymous - 12/08/2025 15:00 - Netherlands - Rotterdam

    Today, I’m on holiday with my kids and crazy wife, who often throws a temper tantrum towards us. We have rented an apartment in front of a pool. There's a heat wave but because we are all infected with Impetigo, we can’t use it. On top of that, I’ve developed a sun allergy and eczema, so I’m just inside, with no AC, FML
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    Naughty boy

    Stevie - 17/08/2025 22:00 - United States - Boston

    Today, I had a date over for the first time. Everything was going well until my dog decided to wedge himself between us on the couch, growl at my date, and then pee on his shoes. My date laughed it off, but my dog seemed to be giving me a smug “I warned you” look for the rest of the night. FML
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    High school drama!

    Anonymous - 21/08/2025 05:00 - United States - Lawton

    Today, I dumped my boyfriend before school for not putting enough effort into this relationship. He said okay, and then HE WAS WALKING WITH A WHOLE NEW GIRL AT SCHOOL. FML
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    Airbnb blues

    Anonymous - 24/08/2025 23:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, to make money, I’ve had to Airbnb my house while I sleep at my sister's. The very first guest I had caused fire damage to the kitchen and a huge skid mark on the mattress. Not on the sheets, on the actual mattress. No idea where the sheets are, I think they stole them, and the toaster. FML
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    Side hustle

    Anonymous - 26/08/2025 11:00 - Canada

    Today, I came home to an orgy in my room. It appears that my parents have been renting our house out to porn studios. FML
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    The pros and cons

    Why am I feeling miserable? - 28/08/2025 08:00 - United States - Steele

    Today, I finally got a job after nearly two years of unemployment. My boss is amazing, my coworkers are fun and helpful, and the pay is great. There's just one issue: it seems as though nothing can change the fact that I simply do not enjoy the job itself, even though I really thought I would. FML
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    I've gotta lot going on, OK?

    Anonymous - 30/08/2025 02:00 - United States

    Today, my house absolutely reeks of skunk after my dog got tagged at 10pm last night and we didn’t realize it until she was already back inside. This is on top of a nasty case of whole body poison ivy my 6 year-old is dealing with, and my wife’s appendix decided to leave the chat last week. FML
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    Be the change you want to see in the world

    Anonymous - 31/08/2025 20:00 - United States

    Today, unfortunately, my friend is a victim of domestic violence and I want to be there for her. The dilemma is that I was abused for 7 months by one of her buddies and she's basically making it out as if it didn't happen. Basically downplaying my trauma all because it's her "homie." Double standards or what? FML
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    Stay home

    TipTopPost - 02/09/2025 22:00

    Today, I was sitting on the bus and the guy in front of me turned around and asked for a dollar. I politely said no. Now he won’t stop farting. I literally hate leaving my house anymore. FML
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    Weekend vibes

    Jakolator - 06/09/2025 12:00 - Netherlands - Amsterdam

    Today, my wife had a shit fit because my son said I hadn't fed him. I'd asked him four times what he wanted for breakfast, and every time he said, "I'm not hungry right now." Great start to the fucking weekend. FML
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    Bad guys

    Anonymous - 08/09/2025 03:00 - France

    Today, it was my first Grindr hookup (I know, I know…) and I ended up getting catfished by some random dude. I decided to just have a walk and get over it, but then I got followed by another random dude for 30 minutes. I can now confidently say I hate men. FML
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    What do you have to hide?

    srry4spamtennaprn - 13/09/2025 12:00

    Today, I visited my mom and siblings. While I went to the bathroom, my younger brother somehow unlocked my iPhone, opened my Twitter app, and sent my parents links to every post in my Bookmarks. Every single one. FML
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    So frustrating!

    Sexless - 18/09/2025 20:00

    Today, my wife complained that I never try to initiate sex anymore. I moved in to kiss her, only for her to push away and say, "I don't want sex!" I tried again later that night. "I don't want sex!" The next day: "I don't want sex!" This is why I never try; if something doesn't work, why keep trying it? FML
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    I'm knackered

    - 20/09/2025 15:00

    Today, on my one day off from working in a bakery, my dad asked me to bake him a cake. I refused as I’m exhausted and didn’t want to bake. He then informed me it’s “not my choice” if I bake cakes or not, and if I want to keep living rent free in his house, I’ll “bake the fucking cake.” FML
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    The lawnmower man

    Anonymous - 22/09/2025 09:00

    Today, as proof that my wife does not belong around me when I’m working, she decided to lean over my shoulder to ask me something, whilst smoking, while I was putting petrol in my lawnmower. She almost blew my face off, then claimed it was my fault for spilling it. STOP SMOKING, WENCH. FML
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    Catfishing for fun

    Anonymous - 24/09/2025 03:00

    Today, I got tired of my girlfriend always leaving the conversation when we chat, so I changed my number and email address, and texted her under a different name. We talked for hours non stop. Should I tell her it's me? FML
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    Neighborly

    Anonymous - 25/09/2025 22:00

    Today, while working from home, I thought I heard someone knock at the door. Without thinking, I shouted, “I’m naked!” A moment later I heard my neighbor say, “Uh… I just wanted to tell you your car headlights are on.” FML
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    No good deed…

    Good Samaritain - 29/09/2025 12:00

    Today, I saw a woman drop her wallet in the grocery store. Being a good citizen, I sprinted after her to return it. She heard me running, panicked and took off. I ended up chasing her through three aisles saying, “Wait! I have your wallet!” Security got involved. FML
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    We're like family!

    Anonymous - 03/10/2025 00:00

    Today, I discovered that "team building exercise" really means free labor with no snacks. FML
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    What is he hiding?

    Wtf - 04/10/2025 20:00

    Today, I asked my boyfriend if he had any secret sexual fantasies and promised that I wouldn't judge him, hoping to scratch my kinky itch. He looked at me wide-eyed, yelled, "IT'S A TRAP!!" and literally sprinted out of the room. FML
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    Don't yuck peoples' yum

    I hate him - 06/10/2025 15:00

    Today, my husband bought a Pokémon game and started playing it in bed. It's like I'm married to an eight year-old boy. Why can't I have a normal man, who reads books or even plays normal games for an adult? I can barely look at him without feeling ashamed for settling with such an overgrown child. FML
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    Dying days

    Lou Riche - 08/10/2025 09:00

    Today, my ex-boyfriend, with whom I've stayed friends with, begged me to accompany him to the hospital, and act like we are still in love and are now engaged in front of his dying grandmother, who once greatly supported our relationship. We both witnessed her last moments, and her last words to us: "…who the hell are you?" FML
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    Freeloader

    Anonymous - 15/10/2025 12:00

    Today, I overheard my coworkers talking about how someone has been stealing lunches from the office fridge. Feeling guilty, I admitted that I took a sandwich yesterday, thinking it was free. Turns out, they were joking to see who’d confess. FML
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    Covert

    Tabby Kat - 21/10/2025 15:00

    Today, I tried to take a subtle picture of a cute guy reading at a café. My phone flash went off. He looked up, made direct eye contact, and said, “You could’ve just asked.” I packed up my stuff and left immediately. FML
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    Drilling time

    scared - 23/10/2025 09:00

    Today, I went to the orthodontist. No biggie, of course. I know the drill, so I didn’t think twice before letting the doctor stick his gloved hands into my mouth. His warm, wet, gloved hands. What the fuck??? FML
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    Brat

    - 25/10/2025 03:00

    Today, my bratty stepdaughter ruins every picture possible by flipping off the camera. She either does it outright or slyly to the side. We recently paid hundreds of dollars for a professional family photoshoot and had to pay extra to Photoshop out her finger. He won’t discipline her at all. FML
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    Love is hell

    Anonymous - 26/10/2025 22:00

    Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, and totally forgot about my existence. She doesn’t even text me, and I think there’s someone else, but she has my name tattooed on her body. Love sucks, I don’t recommend it. FML
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    Rich

    - 30/10/2025 12:00

    Today, I awoke at 3am to a discoloured, swollen and excruciatingly painful left foot. After a visit to the doctor and a CT scan, I was diagnosed with gout - AKA the “rich man’s disease.” I am by no means rich and can barely pass as a man, but still get the agonising condition nonetheless. FML
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    Punk rumble

    Not Even Chinese - 02/11/2025 22:00

    Today, three teenage punks harassed me spewing made up Chinese. They might've scored a bingo, because a group of royally pissed off Chinese men came and attacked them. The cops arrived and took them, and me, not believing that I wasn't with them. Their evidence: one of punk's phones shows one of them consoling me. FML
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    New tricks

    Anonymous - 11/11/2025 20:00

    Today, I had sex with my wife while she was on her period. After some time, I felt a burning sensation. When I pulled out, there was not only blood on my penis, but IN my penis. I, a man, peed out period blood. It hurt. I did not know this was possible. FML
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    Today, after months of telling my landlord about the weak floorboards in my living room, I fell through them as I was trying to repair them myself. FML
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    Today, my boyfriend told me that having my own condoms is unattractive, emasculating, and a turn off. According to him it's the man’s responsibility to provide the protection, and the fact that I have my own means I must have been very promiscuous if I needed to have them on hand. I’m allergic to the pill. FML
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    Today, I pressed snooze on my alarm clock for one of the first times ever. I ended up being late to my 8am class, and when I showed up, I couldn't start the projector. I called Tech Support. They came... and pushed the large button labeled "power." The whole class laughed. FML
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    Today, I got fired from my job at a small start-up company. Why? The CEO wanted to give a job to one of his former fraternity brothers who is out of work, and they couldn't afford to keep us both. FML
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    Today, my hatred for IKEA reignited when I rammed my knee into my hotel bathroom's plexiglass counter top while I was drying myself off. Their interior designer must have have been suffering brain damage when she matched everything with the floor tiles. FML
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    Today, I was babysitting my four year-old cousin when she asked if I had a boyfriend. I said no, and she responded, “Oh. That makes sense.” I’ve been emotionally defeated by someone whose favorite word is “poop.” FML
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