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This is my first FML, so I'm actually really surprised that it got posted. I collect robots and the robot in question is a robotic dog called a Genibo SD which I was partially disassembling to replace its battery at the time. I had to go searching for the parts immediately since that night was trash night and if I had waited until morning, they would have been long gone. I did leave the bag sitting on a table where I had been working, but it was next to a bunch of screwdrivers so I didn't think it would be mistaken for trash (though I admit it was partially my fault for not moving the bag somewhere safer). I'm not upset with my mom, she's a great person and had no way of knowing that the parts were important. Aha, I obviously don't enjoy tearing through trash bags in the middle of the night, but it was definitely a better outcome than if the parts had been taken away by the dump truck.

OK Boomer

By Nicks - 03/07/2013 15:10 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my mother-in-lawyer threatened to sue me unless I took my professional wedding photographs off Facebook, as she didn't like that they made her look fat. She is over 300 pounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 508

You deserved it 4 824

By BlootheBawss - 03/09/2011 04:48 - United States

Today, I have been released from jail because my idiot friends decided to get me a surprise hooker for my birthday. Turns out "Candy" was actually an undercover cop. My friends ditched me. I was the only one arrested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 320

You deserved it 4 634

Bloothebawss tells us more.

Bloothebawss 9

Sunday 4 September 2011 2:36

It's illegal where I live. And yeah, I'm working in the new friends thing.

10 out of 10 for originality

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my neighbor declared his love for me via "the medium of interpretative dance." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 356

You deserved it 3 337

By upset mom - 24/04/2019 04:00

Today, during a meeting, the president of the honor society apologized for being out for a couple of days due to the flu, and wanted to get everything back on track. I mumbled that she hadn't shown good leadership by being out. I guess she heard me, because she said, “Neither does being a teen mom.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 618

You deserved it 6 380

By Anonymous - 11/05/2019 02:00

Today, I noticed a spot on my leg that I wanted a closer look at. I went to put my phone screen towards it for more lighting while my sister was in front of me, looking. I'm pretty sure she saw my nude that I forgot was on the screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 642

You deserved it 2 409

By anonymous - 27/11/2009 09:20 - United States

Today, I was opening up to my close friend about my low self esteem. To make me feel better, he told me that he gets a boner whenever he walks behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 373

You deserved it 7 624

By tagteam - 05/07/2012 16:30 - United States - Worcester

Today, after backpacking acrossing Europe for a month, I picked up my dog from the doghouse. No one will listen to me or acknowledge the fact that he's now missing two toes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 529

You deserved it 2 785

Fried

By RandomLG94 - 31/10/2015 20:35 - United States - Columbia

Today, I was fired from my job because I would "scare" the customers. Two days ago, a coworker spilled fry oil onto the grill, causing flames to singe my eyebrows and the front of my hair off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 053

You deserved it 1 583

Under the hood

By Anonymous - 03/04/2022 12:00

Today, I blanked and forgot to take out my piercing before going for my MRI, even though the nurses asked me multiple times to make sure I had no metal on me before entering, you know, the big machine made of massive electromagnets. The piercing was on my clitoris. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 1 723

Left behind

By happysingleone - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, the last of my college friends is getting married and now I'm the last single one. Don't worry though, if one ever gets a divorce we can hang out again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 172

You deserved it 1 205

MORE! MORE!

By bursteardrums - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I introduced my parrot to oranges. Now she makes a high pitched scream if I don't give her any, and I've just run out of oranges. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 649

You deserved it 11 398

Mixed signals

By Leota - 15/08/2011 16:20 - United States

Today, I received a message on Facebook from a guy I've liked for a year. He asked me if I wanted to hang out, so I said yes. When I walked out to his car later on, he gave me a really confused look. Apparently I was on my brother's Facebook, and he'd never logged out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 246

You deserved it 13 076

By Anonymous - 24/06/2012 14:17 - Canada - Cochrane

Today, a homeless man tried to sell me a "magic, one-finger glove". It was a used condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 104

You deserved it 3 293

Big tasty

By reisz618 - 31/05/2019 07:00

Today, I was at a barbecue and, unbeknownst to me, took a bite of really hot bacon. In my ensuing panic, I grabbed and took a swig of my friend's beer. It wasn't beer, at least not any more. She was using it as an ashtray, and I got a mouthful of cigarette butts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 698

You deserved it 616

By Anonymous - 18/10/2010 04:10 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 251

You deserved it 39 366

By mazey93 - 09/12/2016 19:14 - United Kingdom - Newport

Today, I passed out on the way to work. Some lucky passerby took this as an opportunity to help themself to my purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 104

You deserved it 785

Nice

By Username - 07/08/2011 08:08 - Reserved

Today, after being kept awake all night by my house-mate and his girlfriend, they woke me at the crack of dawn to apologize for being so loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 418

You deserved it 2 623

My little boy

By stubble - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I had to meet my mother. Being a college student, I decided I was too lazy to shave this morning. She noticed the stubble on my face, and started crying because I'm growing up. I'm 23 years-old. My dad yelled at me for making my mom cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 324

You deserved it 3 554

By Mindersss - 01/10/2015 10:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I started my new job. Not even 2 hours in did some old man ask me where I live, what's my number, and if I was interested in being with him and his friends. This guy is at least over 50 and works with me. I left my old job because some old men kept asking the same things. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 570

You deserved it 2 215

Mindersss tells us more.

Mindersss 20

Friday 2 October 2015 12:38

Hey! wow this was actually posted. I work in an apprentice, I do business and admin. I am only 19 years old. I have taken it up with my office manager and HR. These guys are just creeps and have been told to stay away from me. For those who say "well you must be doing something" I am not. I dress in jeans and a top, nothing is on show, and even if it was, it does not give them the right to ask where I live and that. I have never given out where I live. I actually have a boyfriend, and if they ask me out, I do tell them, but even if I was single it is none of their business. Thank you to everyone who did back me up, and to those who are saying I must be doing something, please just leave, I do not have time for your comments. I am not to blame here, the guy was, he is married, (could tell from the ring on his finger) and if he has kids, he should be so ashamed! I am only 19!