By silkytaco - 17/02/2009 17:11 - United States
The Top
Caught the bug
By STFU! - 03/04/2020 17:00
Thin skinned
By cbad - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States
By dickface - 28/03/2011 20:13 - Canada
Heretic!
By hail science! - 21/04/2020 08:00
By Anonymous - 21/03/2011 17:32 - United Kingdom
Cuddle time
By Anonymous - 12/12/2013 08:51 - Australia - Donvale
By WillaminaL - 20/01/2012 03:33 - Canada
Broke ass dad
By anonymous - 19/03/2011 05:53 - United States
Germ warfare
By phantom-yamato - 01/05/2020 17:00
By bumpercarmcgee - 11/05/2016 08:33 - United States
bumpercarmcgee tells us more.
Hammertime
By lynn_27 - 02/05/2020 08:00
By thisblows - 16/03/2011 16:50 - United States
By teach - 05/02/2009 00:40 - Canada
By Anonymous - 09/03/2011 01:15 - United States
By Anonymous - 06/03/2011 05:18 - United States
By Anonymous - 24/07/2018 19:00 - Australia - Melbourne
By Anonymous - 10/12/2012 22:40 - Sweden - V?ster
By duncanisgey - 04/03/2011 22:57 - Canada
By clodius - 20/11/2013 18:25 - United Kingdom - Airdrie
clodius_fml tells us more.
Hi, OP here. I genuinely didn't think this would be published but here we go. Yes on that night I was extremely drunk and she was drinking heavily too, and I mean heavily. I didn't notice the huge bump because 1) I was shitfaced 2) She hid it extremely well. Anyway after talking to a few people it seems that this woman has been going around for the past 7 months sleeping with people and saying they are the dad. I have nothing wrong with people having sex when they aren't in a relationship but don't try and pin point your baby's dad on some bloke. It is wrong on so many levels.
First!
By karma - 28/01/2009 18:36 - Canada
Vessels
By failed brood mare - 17/11/2013 17:46 - United States - Hollywood
By Anonymous - 02/01/2012 17:30 - United States
By Anonymous - 16/11/2013 01:15 - India - Ahmedabad
Thanks, I hate it
By Etown - 12/08/2018 13:00 - United States - Evansville
Patriotic ass
By lancus - 07/06/2020 14:06
By kittkatt1 - 11/11/2013 01:52 - United States - Dearborn
By Anonymous - 07/11/2013 22:21 - United Kingdom - Derry
By Anonymous - 19/02/2011 05:22 - United States
By GymBattle - 31/10/2013 23:18 - United States
Keywords
Update: the breaks weren't really a big deal at first because I didn't have to use them all that much until I got to the freeway, and on the freeway you can just kinda let up off the gas to slow down, especially at higher speeds/less traffic. I just remember noting that the breaks felt a little weird, but I was mostly just focusing on trying to stay behind my friend and not get lost. I attributed that weirdness to how certain cars probably feel and drive differently. I just remember at some point after noting the "weird" breaks I had the morbid thought, "heh, you know what'd be terrible is if the breaks went out." But yeah, breaks became a huge deal the moment I got off the freeway. Turns out they actually worked like 25% of the time and you just had to "double-pump it, dude!" Tbh it's a god damn miracle I made it as far as I did and I narrowly avoided several collisions with other vehicles just trying to get his car to his house. Funny enough, I rear-ended his car literally a block away from his house. I do think the situation is morbidly funny in a way, but it was mostly ******* terrifying. Driving without breaks has this terrifying effect of making you feel like you yourself have nerve damage or something. Like my brain is like I'm doing it! But the electrochemical signals relaying that message to your muscles just kinda got ****** up somewhere along the way.