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By anonymous - 25/11/2015 01:01 - Canada

Today, my mother refused to buy a cat because my sister is allergic to them. She bought a rabbit instead. I'm allergic to rabbits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 442

You deserved it 1 528

By Cantbreath94 - 13/11/2010 06:07 - Canada

Today, while at work, I got a call. They left a voicemail. It was a 7 minute voicemail of the mattress squeaking and my mom screaming my dad's name. I am going to their house for supper tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 671

You deserved it 3 145

By Bad Mum? - 01/04/2019 00:00 - United Kingdom - Harrow

Today, my eldest son told me he wishes he lived with his dad. This after I, two years ago, managed to get myself and my children out of the abusive situation we were in. Why? He didn't want to tidy his toys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 512

You deserved it 229

By animal45 - 07/11/2010 01:32 - China

Today, things were getting steamy with my boyfriend. For once, I tried to be more vocal to turn him on. After five minutes, he says, "Could you stop making animal noises, I feel like I’m fucking in a farmyard." FML

I agree, your life sucks 620

You deserved it 104

By Emerics - 31/05/2014 07:00 - Norway - Stavanger

Today, I was getting frisky with my girlfriend. It was going well until we had to put our clothes back on quickly because someone was coming upstairs. It was my sister, who opened the door and said, “It smells like salami in here! Can I have some?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 105

By tbree - 19/09/2014 22:38 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 075

You deserved it 4 479

Gamer girl woes

By justanothergamergirl - 17/04/2019 20:00

Today, and for the past two weeks, I decided to try online gaming, as it's something I've never done before. I already have a creep stalking me because I mentioned I was single and he's a horny virgin. Remind me never to talk about my lack of love life online again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 848

You deserved it 1 195

By MysticSoup - 22/04/2019 04:00 - United States - Carthage

Today, I asked my doctor out on a date. He had his nurse turn me down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 074

You deserved it 3 977

By weaknesspersonified - 10/11/2015 23:25 - Austria

Today, I felt sad, useless and like I could never achieve anything. To cheer myself up, I wanted to smell some essential orange oil. I couldn't open the bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 397

You deserved it 3 724

By Anonymous - 09/11/2015 14:58 - United States - Redlands

Today, my mother informed me that she sold my dog to pay off some bills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 817

You deserved it 1 839

By texaskitty86 - 26/12/2016 05:58 - United States - Gilbert

Today, my mother got married. My siblings and I only found out when the pool hall she held the ceremony at posted the news on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 226

You deserved it 523

texaskitty86 tells us more.

texaskitty86 25

Sunday 1 January 2017 1:18

Holy crap I finally got published! A little back ground, we knew that mom and her now husband had gotten a marriage license almost 2 months ago but had never gotten it signed (therefor not legally married). We had talked about it the week before and she had told me she didn't think she'd go through with it because he is an alcoholic (like her), abusive, and irresponsible. We were shocked and more then a little upset that she had gone through with it, and that she hadn't told anyone about it, but at this point we're all used to this kind of behavior and I haven't talked to her since.

By Grinch - 24/12/2016 12:08

Today, it's Xmas Eve, and my partner's quick afternoon catch-up with his friends has turned into 5 messy drunks in our house at 1am. So it's no to the "us" time evening we had planned before spending tomorrow with our families who live over 3 hours away. Guess who had promised to drive and now can't? FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 407

You deserved it 738

By "Audrey Harmon" - 20/04/2017 16:00

Today, my sister tackled me by the leg in a game of frisbee. I now know the unique sensation of a knee dislocating. It is not a beautiful one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 434

You deserved it 294

Defeated

By Anonymous - 01/07/2012 23:08

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 200

You deserved it 5 465

Long day

By Tom - 26/04/2017 18:00

Today, I got the bus to work instead of walking so I could be there faster. However, I accidentally got on the wrong bus which let me off a mile and a half away from my workplace. Then, after another half-hour of trying to walk there, I found that it wasn't even open that day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 726

You deserved it 1 508

By Kpotassium - 19/12/2016 21:58 - Canada - Sudbury

Today, I noticed that my two cats have been urinating on my Christmas tree skirt more frequently than in their litter box. I've tried to get them to stop, but I don't know how. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 129

You deserved it 1 081

By Danielle22291 - 29/04/2017 23:27 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, as a waitress at Denny's, I had a 25 top table. Only 3 of them spoke English. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 919

You deserved it 484

By Anonymous - 18/12/2016 14:55 - United States - Harbor City

Today, my 70-year-old boss asked me to order sexy lingerie she saw on the cover a magazine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 319

You deserved it 632

By Thanks Santa - 17/12/2016 05:24

Today, 3 weeks after leaving my job, buying a larger car and moving to Ohio so my boyfriend could be near his family, he secretly drove my car and all my belongings back across several states just to break up with me. This was completely out of the blue while I was home visiting family for Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 585

You deserved it 577

By Anonymous - 27/05/2019 04:00

Today, I made eye-contact with a cute guy in a store. Too bad he saw me buying anti-diarrhea medicine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 794

You deserved it 228

By what did I do? - 15/10/2015 19:30 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She slapped me in the face, stormed out and won't answer my calls. What the hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 395

You deserved it 2 568

Adding insult to injury

By Shibs - 13/10/2015 16:55 - Australia - Hurstville

Today, I was riding my bike along a road and a deer jumped out from the tree line, knocking me to the ground and breaking my arm. Someone pulled over to see if I was alright, running over my bike in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 436

You deserved it 1 792

By xxx - 03/10/2015 13:38 - United States - Chesapeake

Today, I watched porn on my phone for the first time and it went black and shut down. In reality my phone just died, but I thought for a few seconds that the government found me out. Paranoia much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 196

You deserved it 8 374

By Anonymous - 22/09/2015 05:09 - United States - Boston

Today, I tried to be nice and let a homeless man have a place to crash for the night. He repaid me by pissing all over my new couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 658

You deserved it 23 425

By birthday blues - 08/11/2016 19:15 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. The only time people have contacted me is to ask who I voted for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 626

You deserved it 916

By Unemployed - 17/09/2015 07:14

Today, I found out that after three years of telling my boss our strategy wasn't going to work, that I was right - it didn't work. I also found out that because it didn't work, I lost my job. My boss still has his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 821

You deserved it 1 600

Relatable reasoning

By Jake - 10/03/2021 23:00

Today, my wife told me the only reason she doesn’t want kids is because she requires privacy to poop. That’s it. That’s the dealbreaker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 299

By Anonymous - 15/07/2019 14:00

Today, as revenge for a prank I played on him last week, my brother took things way too far and loaded my milkshake with so many chocolate laxatives, I’m now in hospital. I’ve had so much diarrhoea in the past few hours, I’m dangerously dehydrated and had to be put on a saline drip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 053

You deserved it 349

The best cat

By Nyxilia - 07/12/2019 18:00 - United Kingdom - Edgware

Today, I was woken up by my cat. Did he bite me? Meow to get fed? No, those are too common. He scratched my hole, and it was very exciting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 436

You deserved it 683

Threatening

By supersplatoon - 08/09/2015 23:03 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was walking down the street when someone started yelling at me, saying I was dead. I bolted, ran into a pole and when they caught up to me, said "Oh, wrong person." and walked off, leaving me bruised on the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 098

You deserved it 2 714

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The Top

Today, a cute thirty-ish chick walked into the bar I work in. I asked her for her license to make her feel young. She didn't have her license on her and started yelling about how stupid it was to even ask, when she obviously was old enough to drink. She then got up and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 717

You deserved it 12 976

Today, I was getting a pedicure, and they used some sort of scrubby thing that really tickled my feet. When I couldn't take it any more, I accidentally kicked the lady who was doing my nails in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 134

You deserved it 24 490

Today, I got into a huge fight with a 6’3” 200 lb guy over my girlfriend of a month, who he claims to have been dating for 2 months. I'm 6’1” myself, but I’m not jacked at all. My girlfriend stood there watching us fight, and revealed at the end that she has a twin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 568

You deserved it 380

Today, the friend who I'm crushing on but doesn't like me like that back said she wants us to keep our distance AND got angry because I told her I joined a dating app. Now she thinks I lied about my feelings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 668

You deserved it 181

Today, I was on my way home and there were BLM protestors, who I have no problem with, but my car was parked where they were and I had to sit there for three hours until they left so I could drive off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 600

You deserved it 328

Today, my friend got a text showing his girlfriend cheating on him. Sounds like his FML, but he was at my house. He then worked his way through a bottle of my whisky and went into a drunken rage. He threw my furniture through windows, punched holes in the wall, and smashed stuff until I had to call the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 760

You deserved it 130