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By RandomMe - 26/02/2016 08:00 - Cambodia - Sihanouk

Today, I was craving some popcorn, so I went to the supermarket and bought the microwaveable type. When I got home, I remembered I didn't have a microwave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 705

You deserved it 11 969

By Grace - 17/10/2018 03:00

Today, I drove over 3 hours to hook up with a guy I've been talking to for a couple of months. When we start having sex, he lasted less than a minute, and then couldn't get it up again afterwards. I slept uncomfortably the entire night on his twin bed while he snored. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 567

You deserved it 1 392

By riyaap13 - 23/02/2016 20:30 - United States - Gadsden

Today, while I was shopping, a girl walked past me and said, "Hola!" I'm Indian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 855

You deserved it 3 239

riyaap13 tells us more.

riyaap13 17

Thursday 25 February 2016 18:55

Hey everyone, OP here! I just wanted to take this opportunity to explain a few things: 1) I am a female (not that it matters), and I am "India Indian" haha. 2) The reason why I was so offended by it was because she said it in almost a mocking tone. I also didn't like that she took one look at me and assumed that I was Mexican (not that there's anything wrong with being Mexican). I just don't believe in classifying people by how they look and automatically assuming they're a part of a certain ethnicity. 3) I have been taking Spanish for 3-4 years, so I can speak Spanish quite well. And I'm also so glad this got posted :)

Victim blaming

By whatjusthappened - 06/09/2013 00:46 - United States - Loveland

Today, I was asked by my neighbor to stop jogging in our neighborhood because he keeps catching his son whacking off while watching me. His son is 28 years-old and still lives at home. I'm 18. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 873

You deserved it 4 675

By Anonymous - 03/02/2016 15:06 - United States - Ventura

Today, after a badly misjudged hand signal, I accidentally hit my boss in the face instead of high-fiving her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 234

You deserved it 3 167

Octopi

By daddoesn'tknowbest - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I overheard my husband talking to our 6 year-old about animals for a project. I listened, thinking it was cute, until my husband said gleefully, "Remember to say this in your project: octopuses have 8 testicles." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 726

You deserved it 3 749

MMA Struggles

By FML Videos - 26/11/2018 12:30 - United States - New York

Ah!

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 92

Ouch

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Chicago

Today, I learned how it feels to sneeze after having major spinal surgery when the pain medication has almost completely worn off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 905

You deserved it 1 670

By BURGERT0WN USA - 10/01/2016 19:46 - United States - Redmond

Today, I texted the girl I'm going to homecoming with in a couple days to say hi. The conversation started OK, but then morphed into her saying that she doesn't feel anything between us, and wants to stop being friends after the dance. I have to buy her dinner and a ticket, out of my own wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 351

You deserved it 2 651

By loser - 10/12/2018 14:00

Today I bought the Gold edition to a game for $90. I expected to be very good only to realize it was the same as the previous installment. I went to check the refund policy and it said that I had to have played less than 2 hours, I had 121 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 561

You deserved it 1 026

Pissed

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Today, my grandma got piss drunk off two glasses of wine and kept telling me how I'm "so... ROUND!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 438

You deserved it 2 568

By oops. - 22/12/2018 16:00

Today, my wife had a nip-slip. At my family reunion. In front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 180

You deserved it 375

By LadyChristina25 - 05/06/2009 01:07 - United States

Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 583

You deserved it 81 779

Let me iiiiiiin

By Space†Witch - 03/01/2019 04:00

Today, I'm working a photography gig for a very prominent metal band. The doorman asked me for my I.D, which I happily obliged. I'm 27, however I look like I'm still in my mid to late teens. He will not let me in, even with my I.D, and the band who hired me won't answer their phones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 142

You deserved it 210

Today, on Intervention…

By Anonymous - 05/12/2015 06:49 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I staged an intervention for my dad, because his midlife crisis has spun out of control. When I told him he's now basically endangering his own life, he replied "Everyone's gonna die someday. Some sooner than others, eh porky?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 903

You deserved it 2 311

By Anonymous - 08/03/2019 12:00

Today, my teacher told me that unless I went into medicine, math, or engineering, I would never amount to anything in life. This wasn't even two minutes after I told him I want to be an author. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 080

You deserved it 403

Speech impediment

By notfromanisland - 04/12/2015 05:41

Today, through a mutual friend I met with a girl from Netherlands for dinner. At some point, she told me I have an Antillean accent, referring to the Dutch Antilles. I was born and raised nowhere near those islands, but my former boyfriend of 5 years is Antillean. Now I have his accent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 201

You deserved it 2 511

By flammaefata - 08/03/2017 11:53 - South Africa

Today, my new job isn't all I expected it to be. It's become clear that the previous girl didn't do her job for 6 months, which means that the international CEOs have gotten involved, and I'm the lucky winner of an in-depth internal audit as a result. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 623

You deserved it 432

flammaefata tells us more.

flammaefata 20

Monday 6 March 2017 21:34

OP here... Woohoo! So there is a bright side to this - my first FML got published! I'll think of all of you next week when I'm being grilled :P And yes, at least I have the benefit of not being to blame for everything that came before me. But that excuse will only last that long, and obviously I intend to be on top of all of this instead of hiding behind someone else's mistakes. Well, back to work preparing for the crazy audit... Btw I'm from South Africa and not USA as it says.

By ModernCindy - 30/11/2015 16:07 - United Kingdom - Cleveleys

Today, I felt like Cinderella. No, I didn't lose a shoe in public. Nor did I dance with Prince Charming. But I did get a visit from tiny wild mice in my home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 008

You deserved it 2 717