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Quite the catch

By Anonymous - 04/03/2026 00:00

Today, I already felt like shit for no reason, only to find out my boyfriend been drinking again, even though he knows it worries me. He lives two hours away and I don't have a car. Apparently he's had two bottles of vodka, and he started getting nasty over the phone with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 139

Dealbreaker

By Megs - 05/03/2026 15:00

Today, I'm preparing to go through my second divorce, all because I don't want kids. Both of them agreed to no kids when we were dating, then changed their minds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 533

You deserved it 112

Act three, scene one

By anon - 12/08/2024 14:00 - New Zealand

Today, I was performing in a community theater production. Right before my big scene, I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to hold it in, but it came out with such force that I lost my balance, fell off the stage, and landed in the lap of the mayor, who was in the front row. My character’s dramatic entrance was unforgettable for all the wrong reasons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 146

Grab it while you can

By Leann - 07/03/2026 22:00

Today, I had a blind date with someone who asked me for an evening out back on Valentine's Day. I was happy to have a date related to a special day. The catch: my date is a woman I know from work who has a crush on me. Should I feel good I agreed to time with another woman, or bad that it's my only date in 3 years? FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 280

Control

By Anonymous - 13/08/2024 22:00 - United States - New Smyrna Beach

Today, I moved out of my parents' house and started living alone. All of a sudden, my parents started requiring me to text or call them every 5 minutes to tell them where I am and what I'm doing, from 6am to 12am every day. If I don't, they will go looking for me, and force me to move back in with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 124

Ratatouille

By Anonymous - 16/10/2020 08:02

Today, after my house almost got broken into last week, when I heard some noises in the kitchen I went to investigate. I saw a huge rat run across my floor, and nearly peed myself thinking it was an intruder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 022

You deserved it 181

Entitled to personal attacks

By Fuck you asshole! - 18/08/2024 06:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I was told that I was an “entitled snowflake.” I'd mentioned that after 5+ years of cancer treatment and over a dozen surgeries, I still have some physical limitations. I literally almost died but still managed to finish school and change careers, but yeah, I’m entitled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 560

You deserved it 116

Extreme hangover

By Anonymous - 21/08/2024 00:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I woke up after I had gotten shitfaced, and tossed out of bars by bouncers several times. I even had pictures of my face circulated to other bars not to be served. I then met a woman I almost smoked crack with, and spent the rest of the night following her while she asked random homeless people for free crack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 956

Heartless swine

By Anonymous - 17/03/2026 20:00

Today, my wife isn't speaking to me and is considering separation because I got rid of the puppy she surprised me with for my birthday. She knows I hate dogs and I'm severely allergic to them, but thought it would be a happy case of "Dad later falls in love." FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 119

Ice Ice Baby

By Anonymous - 31/12/2021 20:01 - Germany - Ebersbach

Today, I thought I’d preheat the car so I wouldn’t have to scrape the ice off the windshield and could start driving in a toasty vehicle. Turns out it’s a bit difficult to flip a switch on the dashboard of a car with the doors frozen shut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 827

You deserved it 162

Lonely times

By Anonymous - 22/08/2024 00:00 - United States - Port Orchard

Today, I realized why my depression is so bad. No matter how hard I try, I have always been a replaceable presence in everyone's lives, and I have never felt like anyone couldn't live without me. Not even family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 418

You deserved it 142

Wasps can **** right off

By Ohthepain - 31/03/2023 14:00

Today, I got back home to my completely locked-up apartment after a long and stressful family visit. On digging through my nice clean clothes for something comfy to change into, I was set upon and stung by a great dirty wasp hiding in there. How the fuck did it get in? Are there more of them in here with me?! FML

I agree, your life sucks 759

You deserved it 136

The ultimate betrayal

By nick - 23/08/2024 20:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I learned of my girlfriend’s affair with her coworker. And by coworker, I mean my long-time friend, who we helped get a job at her work in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 60

Insurance scam

By Anonymous - 23/03/2026 20:00

Today, my parents told me that they're suing my best friend's parents because I broke my leg at their house. I've been begging and pleading and fighting with them not to but they won't listen. They keep saying that it's not personal and it's just a legal thing. Happens all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 71

Fancy a brew?

By Anonymous - 30/08/2024 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a meeting with our shop owner, who I’d never met before. We were in suits but the guy turned up in jeans, a flat cap hat, and the strongest Yorkshire accent I’ve ever encountered. I couldn’t understand a word he said. I couldn’t even tell if he was mad or not, it mostly sounded like swearing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 430

You deserved it 126

Going swimmingly

By Anonymous - 22/01/2022 17:00

Today, all the roads going in and out of my town are closed due to flooding. I work 3 towns away, and was threatened with termination if I didn't come to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 264

You deserved it 92

Worst prank ever

By Anonymous - 03/04/2023 12:00 - Canada - Dollard-des-Ormeaux

Today, to be kind, I gave away my tickets for an electronic music event I could no longer attend to a Facebook stranger. Later, they told me they were refused at the door. Turns out the pdf I'd received from the ticketing system contained some placeholder values and invalid QR data. And this happened on April 1st. FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 155

Mind your own business

By Anonymous - 30/03/2026 20:00

Today, I found out that my parents are in trouble because they left me home alone for almost two weeks (I'm 16) and my Karen neighbor found out and called social services. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 70

Baseless accusation!

By Nasturtium - 05/09/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I threw up due to food poisoning. Despite my fever and pain, my wife is completely convinced it was from secretly drinking, and I am now "PERMANENTLY FORBIDDEN" from drinking anything alcoholic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 123

Give peace a chance

By Anonymous - 05/04/2026 03:00

Today, I found out that my mom withdrew me from karate at the insistence of my my fucking stepdad, who's a wimpy sissy pacifist who is against violence. I was so close to getting my black belt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 91

Entitled much?

By r/entitledparents material right here - 06/09/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, a woman came up to me at a restaurant and asked if her autistic son could borrow my headphones. I agreed, but when they were leaving and I asked for them back, she accused me of trying to steal MY headphones that she BORROWED from me. If not for other people backing me up, I would have lost them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 736

You deserved it 177

Steve McQueen would be ashamed

By thatsureshowedme - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I tried being rebellious for the first time in my life by sneaking out past my curfew. I tried to climb out of my bedroom window to stealthily leave the house. I ended up twisting my ankle when I tried to make my "great" escape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 240

You deserved it 30 944

It's all too much

By Wilder-Grey - 09/04/2026 00:00 - United States - Dayton

Today, my boyfriend has been in the hospital since Saturday and I don't know when he'll be home, the anniversary of my favorite grandma's death is coming up, and it's the week before my period. My emotions are so out of whack that even I'm sick of myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 160

Man child, part 2

By Anonymous - 10/11/2020 08:02 - United States

Today, I was told I'm lazy by my boyfriend because I skipped work. He skips his all the time and when I get home still have to cook and clean up after him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 953

You deserved it 311

Vent away

By GregIsGreg - 10/09/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I was getting into a Uber after a long day at work. I opened the door, sat down, and started venting to the driver about my horrible day. Five minutes in, I realized I had climbed into a random stranger’s car. He didn’t even tell me; he just let me complain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 190

You deserved it 523

Deal with it

By Anonymous - 12/11/2020 02:02 - Argentina - Mar De Ajo

Today, apparently having mood swings at 37 weeks pregnant is being "braggy" according to my husband, and totally not acceptable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 936

You deserved it 166

Horny horny horny

By Anonymous - 05/02/2022 12:00

Today, I’m so desperate I hooked up with a guy who has Covid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 255

You deserved it 2 125

My body hates me

By Owie - 13/09/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I was looking at myself in the mirror and tried to touch my face. Unfortunately I have Tourette's, so my hand just uncontrollably slammed into my cheek, consequently jamming one of my fingernails into it. It started bleeding like crazy. My fingernails aren't exactly long, either… that's how hard it hit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 76

Britain's Got Talent?

By Anonymous - 13/04/2026 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, during an important music audition, I fudged everything up and forgot half the lyrics of the song I was performing, so I just sort of tailed off into embarrassed silence on stage. It was an original song, I wrote the lyrics myself. All the lady could say was, "Good luck next year, dear." FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 141

Don't blame me!

By Anonymous - 15/04/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, my parents told me they're getting a divorce because of all the strain caused by me nearly dying in an accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 58

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The Top

Today, I got a letter back from the family I will be staying with as a part of an exchange program. Apparently they own a slaughterhouse type farm, and I'm expected to kill one of their animals and eat it as a gift from the family. I'm a vegan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 306

You deserved it 19 455

Today, my mum told me how I was only here because my dad couldn't pull out in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 080

You deserved it 3 682

Today, I finally had my tongue piercing heal up so I decided to try oral on my girl. Unfortunately, she has a hood piercing that got caught on my tongue ring, and neither of us could get them apart. We had to call my mom in to solve the problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 198

Today, my parents took me out to eat. When the bill came, they stared at me for a while before asking, “Aren’t you gonna pay?” They've never made me pay before, there was no indication that I’d have to pay this time, and I’d left my wallet at home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 277

You deserved it 262

Today, I think I figured out why my computer refused to start up properly the other day. My cat is a cord chewer. Now I have to close the door when I'm not in there, until I drum it into his head to not do that. And before you ask: yes, he's orange. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 148

Today, I looked at my daughter's bank statements after she came to us in tears, crying that she was struggling financially. She orders Uber Eats five times a week. When I pointed this out, she said that she has to order out because cooking makes her want to kill herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 116