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Assertive

By So broke its a joke - 04/10/2025 12:00

Today, I had an interview. Another applicant shook my hand, saying, "May the better man win." I smirked and said, "Thanks, I plan to." I turned and saw the interviewer. He definitely heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 539

Backseat drivers

By Anonymous - 28/08/2021 10:00

Today, he’s the worst backseat driver ever: first he demands I drive more slowly, then when I swerve slightly because he startled me, he promptly admonishes me to stay in my lane. "He"? Well, he’s not actually a person. He’s my very high-tech rental car, who won’t shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 802

You deserved it 307

Grave error

By spyrogers1677 - 18/11/2022 06:00 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, at my job as a funeral director, I fell ass over heels into the grave in front of a hundred mourners and an unamused Catholic priest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 939

You deserved it 162

Two left feet for hands

By I can't throw ;-; - 01/04/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, my friend invited me to play frisbee golf with him. On my first throw, my frisbee got stuck on a branch near the top of a very tall tree. This is why I don't do sports. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 110

Not cool

By Anonymous - 06/10/2025 22:00

Today, I was trying to shop in peace when a single mom with a whole herd of loud brats went tearing through the aisles. I told her that if her kids had fathers they wouldn’t behave that way. The oldest screamed, “Our daddy died!” causing all the kids to break into hysterics. The mom cried too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 1 456

Mission: Do it all over

By SonjaPea - 27/08/2021 22:01 - United Kingdom - Stevenage

Today, I spent 5 hours working on emails for work in a desperate attempt to get back on top of my task list. Having written about 45 emails waiting in my outbox to go out first thing Monday morning, Outlook has "stopped responding". I might've just lost them all and worked through the day for nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 890

You deserved it 162

Always check where you're posting

By Jimbob - 08/10/2025 20:00

Today, I got a mass message on WhatsApp from my extended family about my cousin’s engagement. Trying to be funny, I replied, “Wow, can’t wait to see how long this one lasts.” I thought I was sending it to my brother. Only my brother. I sent it to the whole family group. Including my cousin. And her fiancé. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 680

Mood ruiner

By Why I'm not religious - 04/04/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I was playing Drawful with my parents and a few friends. We were having a great time, until one of us got a drawing prompt about God. The game doesn't let you use capital letters. As a result, my uber-religious mom went on a massive tirade about not being able to capitalize "God," completely ruining the game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 123

Party trick

By Anonymous - 11/10/2025 09:00

Today, I went to my cousin’s wedding and started tearing up during the vows. I reached into my purse for a tissue but accidentally pulled out a tampon, which flew across the aisle and landed right between the bride and groom. It's probably going to make it into the wedding video. FML

I agree, your life sucks 250

You deserved it 291

Strange encounter

By gill - 08/04/2024 20:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, while I was working at a Rite Aid, the superintendent of the local high school stopped in and was rude to me. I asked if he knew my principal and explained that I graduated from another nearby high school two years ago. Suddenly, the grumpy asshole became the greatest gentleman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 383

You deserved it 118

Wealth

By Anonymous - 06/09/2021 13:59

Today, after about 8 hours of working and making huge orders, I received my share of tips. It was only a quarter. One single quarter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 137

You deserved it 90

Broke boy

By Anonymous - 19/10/2025 00:00

Today, the cashier asked if I wanted to donate $1 to help hungry children. I said, “Not today, thank you.” The man behind me loudly said, “Wow…” Now everyone thinks I hate children. I'm just that broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 80

Hammocking yourself

By phlox_fml - 30/05/2020 08:00

Today, I fell backwards out of my hammock, busting my shoulder. This weekend, I broke my toe falling out of it. I've used hammocks my entire life, but have become apparently unable to during the lockdown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 352

You deserved it 291

Freeloader

By Anonymous - 23/10/2025 22:00

Today, my boyfriend said he OD’d twice because of me, got sober because of me, and is done “trying.” I bought him a car yesterday and he hasn’t paid rent or bills in almost two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 147

You deserved it 515

Funday is canceled

By Anonymous - 04/12/2022 16:00

Today, I’m currently battling a cold that caused me to call into work yesterday and, as of this morning, I’ve also started my period and have the most painful cramps ever. Good thing I have the day off from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 765

You deserved it 135

Stuck

By Anonymous - 16/04/2024 00:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I'm once again stuck on the side of the road. I was borrowing my housemate's old car and it broke down. This comes only days after my own broke down (and will take 3 weeks to repair). None of this is helping my sudden temper and mood swings that have come as a side-effect of discontinuing my anti-depressants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 166

Freaked out

By Anonymous - 25/10/2025 15:00

Today, I came home in an awful mood, and grumbled to my wife that sometimes I want to strangle my boss. My wife regularly screams up and down the house over the most minor shit, but apparently this upset her so much that she took the kids to her mom's, and is demanding I get anger management. FML

I agree, your life sucks 540

You deserved it 96

Oddly suspicious

By Brittany - 17/04/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I began noticing a certain female name popping up on my husband’s social media notifications,so I asked him about it. He got irrationally upset at the fact that I pronounced her name wrong, told me she’s “nobody”, then said, “I hate it when you accuse me of shit!” I didn’t even accuse him of anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 692

You deserved it 94

Where am I?

By Anonymous - 27/10/2025 22:00

Today, I had a dentist appointment and walked into what looked like the clinic but it was a dental lab. Two technicians were polishing dentures so I asked where Dr. Patel’s office was. They pointed me down a corridor as if it explained why I’d just sat in their reception reading outdated magazines for 5 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 320

Free thinker

By Anonymous - 29/10/2025 22:00

Today, I was babysitting my nephew and told him he could “say anything” to the nice old lady at the park who gave him candy. He looked her dead in the eye and said, “My aunt says people your age shouldn’t drive anymore.” She glared at me like I'd ran over her cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 288

You deserved it 216

Wokescolds gonna wokescold

By Anonymous - 18/09/2021 11:00

Today, I was accused of digital blackface and culturally appropriating my own culture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 867

You deserved it 88

Breathtaking view

By Anonymous - 04/11/2025 00:00

Today, my husband farted while he was naked and bending over to pick up his clothes, so me lying on the bed got a perfect view of his butthole twitching and flapping around as the gas escaped. Who says romance is dead? FML

I agree, your life sucks 418

You deserved it 139

Thanks Aldi

By *Chomp* *Chomp* - 26/04/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I found out that if you put tea bags into a cup of hot water, the tea bags will melt. The result: You get to drink and chew tea leaves at the same time, with little bits of actual tea to help make them go down. 0/10, do not recommend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 507

Small talk hell

By Kellie - 06/11/2025 09:00

Today, I told my boss her new haircut made her look younger. She smiled and said, “Oh, thank you!” I tried to double down on the compliment and said, “Yeah, like... 20 years ago younger!” She stopped smiling. It turns out that would’ve made her twelve. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 522

Get lost

By Anonymous - 28/04/2024 22:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, I had to spend at least 30 minutes, at 3 in the morning, shooting BBs at a mateless whip-poor-will to scare it off so I could sleep. It was making noise in a tree right outside my window. I feel for you my dude, but you're doing the equivalent of drunk texting an ex and crying into your beer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 207

You deserved it 410

Buddy boy

By Anonymous - 08/11/2025 09:00

Today, at the park, a toddler ran up to me yelling “Daddy!” and hugged my legs. Trying to be nice, I patted his head and said, “Hey, buddy, I’m not your dad.” His actual dad appeared behind me, wearing the same shirt, same haircut, and looked at me like I’d just tried to kidnap his child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 51

Frustrating

By No comment (pun not intended) - 04/05/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, Facebook severely restricted my account, all because I edited a comment too many times. Apparently, all of the vile shit I see on that website every day is perfectly okay, but editing a comment is not. Some mental gymnastics right here. First world problem, I know, but very frustrating nonetheless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 170

Prejudice

By EpicOracle - 20/09/2021 11:00 - Nigeria

Today, I found out that even when I have written and submitted freelance work, the client can refuse to pay and it'd be acknowledged because I'm from Nigeria. Also, they can still use my work. I guess the "Nigerian Prince" issue is affecting even the innocent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 089

You deserved it 115

Twisted

By no vacation then I guess - 20/11/2025 00:00

Today, when I got home, I learned that my five year-old had tried to burn the house down when my wife told him that he needed to stop watching TV. Now we need a counselor and it's going to cost thousands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 116

Curiosity killed the AC

By Cat owner - 11/05/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, my cat tried to look out my bedroom window. To do so, she tried to stand on my air conditioner. She was unsuccessful in that endeavor, almost knocking my TV over and fucking up the side panel. Now there's an opening in my window that I can't close up. Guess I'll take the AC out and shut the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 136

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The Top

Today, my love life evolved. My wife left me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 33

Today, I was checking out a customer who seemed quite friendly. As I finished, he reached slightly over the counter and I impulsively reached out and shook his hand. He gave me a dumbfounded look and said, "Can I have my change please?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 338

You deserved it 35 144

Today, I woke up and decided to make my mom a special Easter breakfast in bed. I pre-heated the oven to bake the sausage just the way she likes. Guess where my easter basket was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 816

You deserved it 7 022

Today, my roommates sat me down and said we need to have a serious chat. I was worried, until they asked me if I could quit my new night job. When I asked why, they said it was because I wasn't home anymore to cook them dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 101

You deserved it 471

Today, I talked to my birth mother for the first time in over 26 years. Five minutes into our conversation, I remembered why I stayed away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 584

You deserved it 246

Today, I was getting groceries and realized at checkout that I forgot my wallet. The cashier gave me a sympathetic look as I frantically tried to unlock my phone to pay with an app, and watched as I accidentally called my ex on speakerphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 298