The Top

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What more do you need?

By Anonymous - 24/11/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, we have elevators at my work, but you need to go to HR to get a key. I was denied one after I almost died in a car accident because I didn’t look “hurt enough.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 534

You deserved it 102

Classic

By Anonymous - 01/07/2026 12:00 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I walked a good 5 minutes across campus, through a few large hallways and up some stairs, with about foot of toilet paper hanging out of my pants before somebody pointed it out to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 291

You deserved it 117

Clean up in aisle 3 please

By Anonymous - 02/02/2021 23:01 - Germany

Today, despite my asking her several times, my mom seems incapable of putting dog food in a bowl. She just throws it on the floor, where you step on it, slip on it, the doors get stuck on it and the tiles are now full of greasy dog food crumbs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 997

You deserved it 110

Bathtime

By BadCatOwner - 25/06/2023 10:00

Today, my 11 year-old daughter claimed I'm a terrible cat parent. Why? Because in the 4 months that we've had the cat, I haven't given him a bath. Our strictly indoor kitten lives in attack mode, and would paint the walls with my blood if I attempted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 743

You deserved it 160

My lifestyle choices

By Jfc stella - 03/07/2026 22:00 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I looked at my daughter's bank statements after she came to us in tears, crying that she was struggling financially. She orders Uber Eats five times a week. When I pointed this out, she said that she has to order out because cooking makes her want to kill herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 116

WTF does that even mean?

By Betrayed - 16/03/2022 16:00

Today, my coworker, who I thought was my “friend,” threw me under the bus and showed my boss all the texts I'd sent talking shit about her. I was sacked. I confronted him and told him I thought we were friends. He replied, “The mouse is friend of the cheese, it doesn’t mean he’s not gonna eat it.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 562

You deserved it 1 015

Move!

By Kevin - 29/11/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I got stuck in traffic and angrily honked at the car in front of me. Then I realized it was a hearse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 671

Double standard

By Anonymous - 05/07/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, my former in-laws have been giving me crap for remarrying only four months after my divorce, yet they had no problem with my ex-wife remarrying only a week after our divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 103

By ZombieLicker - 25/11/2009 20:25 - United States

Today, I was walking into the building I hoped to work in someday with my resume, ready to be interviewed. As I walked through the doors I had to sneeze, so lifted my hands and sneezed a huge bloody booger right in the middle of the cover page. Turns out future employers don't like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 967

You deserved it 7 442

Throwing a dinner

By Cathy - 01/12/2024 09:00 - United States - Burlington

Today, I hosted a family dinner. I made a roast, potatoes, green beans, and homemade bread. Everything went smoothly until I realized halfway through I'd used powdered sugar instead of flour. No one noticed at first, then my aunt asked in horror, “Why's it taste like cake?” The rest of the meal was eyed suspiciously and I almost fainted from the stress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 269

You deserved it 349

Thanks, I hate it!

By Anonymous - 08/07/2026 09:00 - United States - Bridgeport

Today, a friend temporarily staying at my house with his cats scared one of them into my basement, where the cat then climbed up within the walls to somewhere on the second floor. He then left as he was on a deadline to get to TN by a specific time. He told me I could keep his cat, who is stuck somewhere in a wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 382

You deserved it 65

By ugheffmylife - 09/05/2009 19:06 - United States

Today, I was playing with my phone and turned it on lock mode. I changed my lock code a few months ago, so that no one would be able to guess it. Turns out I can't guess it either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 707

You deserved it 56 572

Way to miss the point

By Anonymous - 02/12/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I apologized to my mother-in-law for not wanting to be around the family babies while I am struggling with infertility. She responded that that was OK but that I should still really meet my baby nephew, because, "He is the most precious baby ever!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 500

You deserved it 178

Reasonable

By Anonymous - 10/07/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, my wife and I have been fighting and she's accusing me of being too controlling because I absolutely forbid her from putting pictures of our kids on social media. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 185

New neighbors

By Jules - 06/07/2023 10:00 - Germany

Today, I got up, curtains still closed, and in the dim light noticed something dark on the floor, which wasn’t there yesterday. I turned on the light to find out what it was. A tiny ant hill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 742

You deserved it 130

So cute!

By pushover - 13/07/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I walked into a pet store "just to look." Thirty minutes later, I walked out with a hamster, a cage, toys, treats, and absolutely no idea how I'll explain this to my landlord. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 471

Handle with care

By Bad day to be my toes - 08/12/2024 16:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I noticed one of my toenails was getting super long, so I cut it. In doing so, I accidentally ripped it off and it started bleeding. As I went to get something to stop it from bleeding, I got a huge splinter in my little toe, causing a painful infection. I think I should just go back to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 194

Careful

By Anonymous - 15/07/2026 09:00 - United States - Thornton

Today, I was microwaving chicken noodle soup and these ones tend to explode a lot, so I tried so very very hard to watch it carefully. I was able to microwave it fully without it exploding but after I pulled it out of the microwave, I spilled half of it onto the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 187

You deserved it 239

Get better friends

By Anonymous - 15/05/2022 00:01

Today, after years of being too self-conscious to do anything big with my appearance, I finally got an undercut. My best friend went on a rant about how I "ruined" how I look and now she can't be seen with me, because we "look mismatched together." Looks like I'm back to being self-conscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 971

You deserved it 143

Give me strength

By Michael - 05/02/2021 21:30 - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, I wanted to clean my house. Of course the vacuum cleaner got stuck behind furniture multiple times. After the fifth time or so, I gave it a good pull. Now my vacuum cleaner is broken and the socket is off the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 1 029

Today's mystery item

By Curious George - 19/07/2026 15:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I found an old USB drive and spent an hour trying to open it because I was sure it had important files on it. It contained one blurry photo of my thumb and a Word doc titled “Do not open", which was actually blank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 262

Spare part

By Marrrissa - 15/12/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, I'm all alone for the holidays. The guy I was kicking it with ghosted me. I went to the guy I rejected for being too overweight for my taste, and not only has he lost weight, he now has a girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 1 265

Meritocracy ain't shit

By Anonymous - 24/07/2026 12:00 - United States - Henrico

Today, I was a manager of a store for 12 years and I'd had an agreement with the owner that I was to be signed over as full manager until I could buy the store… and then he goes to sell it to a kid I'd fired. I got fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 73

Unexpected visitor

By Anonymous - 07/02/2021 21:30

Today I went to a much-anticipated job interview. I've been out of work for a month and I really need and wanted this job. I then realized that yesterday's hike was not a good idea when a tick crawled across my forehead in the middle of the interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 950

You deserved it 181

Tally

By I'm sorry... - 17/12/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for being "obsessed" with my new female coworker. She gave me a piece of paper with dozens of tally marks on it. What were the tally marks keeping count of? Every time I've mentioned my coworker to my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 1 044

OK boomer

By Haldu - 26/07/2026 22:00 - France - Dijon

Today, while waiting for the tram, I gave 50 cents to an unhoused person in his twenties. A boomer then spent exactly 7 minutes, the time it took for my tram to arrive, explaining to me that young people shouldn't be given money, otherwise they wouldn’t want to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 342

You deserved it 123

Where am I?

By Doordashed - 28/07/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I got a notification that my food had been delivered. I opened my front door and found nothing. After ten minutes of panic, I checked the delivery photo. It was of my old apartment. I moved out eight months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 383

Sounds fishy

By Anonymous - 13/02/2021 11:01

Today, I told my wife I wasn’t comfortable with her going out with an old guy friend. Petty, sure, but our sex life is non-existent. I found out that she's been seeing him behind my back for months, spent the night with him last week and claims there’s nothing going on. Trying to decide whether I should stay or go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 381

You deserved it 224

Cards on the table

By Anonymous - 21/07/2023 22:00

Today, I'm thinking of quitting the awesome job I love with coworkers I adore, because I keep fucking up every part of my job, making them pick up the pieces and correct my failures. They don't deserve this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 284

Tearaway

By Anonymous - 31/07/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, I’m 9 months pregnant. I was in a grocery store when this little hellspawn came tearing ass down the aisle right at me. I instinctively turned to the side to protect my belly, while the brat crashed into my hip and fell backward. His cunt of a mother cussed me out for knocking down her “baby”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 484

You deserved it 80

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The Top

Today, I found out that my neighbors took it upon themselves to knock down the fence we shared, and putting up a new one. Thus fencing my pool into their yard. When I asked them why, he replied, "We thought you weren't coming back." I was gone for 4 months tending to my sister with breast cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 114

You deserved it 2 398

Today, I'm staying with my mother for a week. Every time I eat something, she tells me that it's "swimsuit season" and that I need to eat less. Every time I say I'm not hungry, she panics and insists I have an eating disorder. I can't win. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 995

You deserved it 2 526

Today, in the middle of having sex with my boyfriend, instead of saying something sexy, he decided to tell me that the bowling alley had a new air hockey table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 171

You deserved it 5 710

Today, my brother had texted me, asking, "Why did you take Mom's chocolate? That's pathetic." I proceeded to swear on my own life that I didn't, but directly after that he sent me a picture of the wrapper in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 1 322

Today, my boyfriend told me that he has a secret love child, but that its mother had passed. I'm supposed to now raise this kid? FML

I agree, your life sucks 663

You deserved it 123

Today, I fell down the stairs while holding a cup of hot coffee. Now I have burns all over me and a twisted ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 115