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Not my best work

By Anonymous - 08/05/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom - Newcastle

Today, I thought I'd finally mastered the art of parallel parking. Feeling proud of myself, I got out of the car to admire my handiwork, only to realise I'd parked halfway onto the sidewalk and completely blocked the entrance to a cafe. I had to sheepishly move my car while enduring the glares of annoyed pedestrians. FML

I agree, your life sucks 254

You deserved it 445

By FUKDOUG - 15/01/2009 01:47 - Canada

Today, I was trying to finish an English assignment and I was not sure how to complete it, so I emailed my teacher to ask her for help. She told me to… flip over the assignment handout page for instructions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 607

You deserved it 28 487

Take the L

By Anonymous - 06/07/2020 17:02

Today, I confessed my feelings to my best friend, how I'm deeply in love with him. The consequence wasn't good, as he told me we should never talk to each other again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 722

You deserved it 257

By Explicit - 13/01/2009 18:17 - United States

Today, I had to give a speech in front of my class and during my speech I had to say the words "But six"; however, because of my accent it sounded like "Butt sex". For the remainder of the day I was frequently asked about "Butt sex". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 539

You deserved it 3 236

Shortcut

By Anonymous - 14/05/2024 12:00 - United States - Clifton Park

Today, I clicked on a shortcut that I'd made years ago, not remembering what it was. It sent a message to my ex, who I’m in no contact with, which said, “I love you.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 269

You deserved it 628

Why me?

By Irenne - 26/11/2025 03:00

Today, the coworker I like reported me to HR for "sexual harassment." All I did was make him lunch every day, give him 'just because' gifts, and compliment him in a non-sexual way. It sure isn't "sexual harassment" when another coworker of ours does the exact same things; in fact, he praises it and acts indifferent to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 896

By random - 23/10/2013 22:41 - United States - Amarillo

Today, while working as a paramedic, we got called to an assisted living home. The medical emergency? The woman had a leak in her bathroom and wanted it fixed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 193

You deserved it 2 610

By Anonymous - 11/11/2012 03:10 - Canada

Today, my dad offered to pay me $40 to wash his car. Needing money to buy a video game, I agreed, and went out in the freezing weather to do the job. I finished the task, only to be paid in Monopoly money. My dad still hasn't gotten over how "funny" his prank was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 253

You deserved it 3 929

Coming through!

By SBT1030 - 23/07/2009 11:45 - United States

Today, I was helping my sister by getting some old boxes down from her attic. Too bad I didn't realize the piece of plywood I was standing on doesn't extend all over the attic floor. Of course, I did realize it when I went through the ceiling onto the concrete floor of her garage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 566

You deserved it 5 655

Quiet dumping is a thing now?

By RebeccaT - 04/01/2023 00:00

Today, I found out my boyfriend was “quiet dumping” me. He thought treating me like shit to the point of me leaving the relationship would be easier than him having to tell me he’s cheating on me. Apparently he didn’t want to “hurt my feelings” Well played, you bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 154

You deserved it 145

By Anonymous - 06/02/2015 08:26 - Canada - Maple Ridge

Today, after a day, I finally noticed that the toilet paper I'd been using to wipe my butt is actually a roll of paper towel cut in half. My dad thinks that it's a waste of money to buy proper paper. Guess who had to unclog the toilet twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 130

You deserved it 3 185

By Anonymous - 05/02/2011 09:01 - United Kingdom

Today, I fell over a wet floor sign warning you not to fall over. The irony hurt more than the fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 988

You deserved it 9 600

Between a rock and a soft place

By Anonymous - 20/07/2020 23:01

Today, it's our eighth anniversary. My husband has struggled for a while with erectile dysfunction, and tonight he decided it wasn't worth trying. So now, he's sitting at home, soft, while I'm eating Taco Bell in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 856

You deserved it 313

Go to drunk, you're sleep

By Anonymous - 21/10/2021 05:00 - New Zealand - Nelson

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend, who was half asleep at 3 am, saying he was yelling my name because he needed toilet paper. We don’t even live together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 833

You deserved it 124

Major red flag

By Anonymous - 13/01/2023 10:00 - United States - Ewa Beach

Today, I asked the guy I’m seeing if he thought I was pretty. He replied that "all women on Earth" don’t compare to "the women in heaven", therefore all “earthly women” look like monkeys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 856

You deserved it 204

Superficial

By Marisela - 24/05/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I was dumped by my boyfriend of 2 years. I'd been involved in an accident that severely hurt my right leg. As a result, I couldn't work out and gained 35 pounds, also due to stress eating and some meds I’m taking. Apparently I’m no longer attractive and he can’t have people thinking he’s a “chubby chaser.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 638

You deserved it 172

By jl_word - 04/02/2015 21:49 - United States

Today, I paid a local homeless man to rake the leaves in my yard. After paying and driving him to the bus stop, I found his shit on my back porch. I need new shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 677

You deserved it 3 850

By homework - 21/07/2009 07:34 - India

Today, whilst cleaning out his desk, my dad "accidentally" threw away my summer homework. That's 100 pages, over a duration of 2 months. School starts in 3 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 884

You deserved it 6 355

My brain and I

By Anonymous - 22/10/2021 08:00

Today, it’s late and I’m so tired, I’m not even able to read a book anymore, or walk around without bumping into things. Yet apparently, my brain still doesn't consider this a sign that we should fall asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 886

You deserved it 113

Wealth gap

By Anonymous - 06/01/2023 15:00 - Canada - Regina

Today, a coworker threw my lunch in the trash. They'd just got back from holidays, and I use the same containers they do. My leftovers "looked like something they'd eat", so they thought it was something they'd forgotten before going on holidays. It was leftovers that I'd been spacing out, trying to make last till payday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 130

You deserved it 1 320

Indeed…

By Anonymous - 26/05/2024 12:00 - United States - Verona

Today, I realized that I'm head over heels in love with my coworker. She's funny, caring, sweet, and the best person I've ever met. We're also both married. I dream about her every night, and the stress of not being able to tell her has overtaken my PTSD, making it impossible to sleep and barely function. Fuck Love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204

You deserved it 672

By Anonymous - 13/10/2013 16:20 - United States - Bessemer

Today, after holing myself up in my room for the day, I eventually turned my phone back on and told my girlfriend that my grandma passed away today. She replied, "Ask me if I fucking care," then accused me of not caring about our relationship because I went offline all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 846

You deserved it 4 912

By Aintnosunshine - 31/12/2008 03:48 - France

Today, I attended a speed dating evening. After 7 minutes, the girl told me she wasn't interested. I asked her at what point of the conversation she had made up her mind, she answered: "When you said 'Hello'. Goodbye". FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 308

You deserved it 2 467

Not the rugby team!

By Anonymous - 11/01/2023 10:00

Today, at dinner, I stumbled over the words of the prayer and my dad is now convinced I’m losing interest in my religious responsibilities. To “bring me back to the Lord” he is trying to force me to break up with my girlfriend and quit the rugby team. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 115

You deserved it 147

By Wheresthebeefz - 01/02/2011 02:46 - United States

Today, I tried to save a dying bird I found on the sidewalk. I got a parking ticket for $114 in front of the animal hospital. I later found out the bird died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 973

You deserved it 7 910

Road hog

By DanJames24 - 10/10/2021 08:00 - United Kingdom - Rochdale

Today, a girl seemed to be tailgating me while I was driving home. I ended up letting her past as I didn’t like it, so I pulled into the next petrol station. She did too, so I thought I’d ask her why she was tailgating me. She asked what I was going to do about it, before kneeing me in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 262

You deserved it 255

Sorry hun

By UglyAintGotNoAlibi - 01/06/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, I told my crush how I felt. He said, “Sorry, I don’t feel the same way. But you’re an amazing girl, and you deserve a guy who will treat you like a queen.” I asked him, “Well, why can’t you be that guy then?” He pretended to have a coughing fit and “suddenly remembered” he had to be somewhere and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 172

You deserved it 1 215

Not for everyone

By Anonymous - 02/11/2021 17:00

Today, after I'd left the love of my life because he didn't want kids, got into another relationship, he now tells me he's changed his mind about having kids, 5 years in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 090

You deserved it 245

Whatcha wanna know?

By Anonymous - 15/01/2023 22:00 - Germany

Today, during a job interview, I spent an eternity telling them everything about my experience, my character, my passions, and my previous jobs. Next thing I know, the recruiter said, “Now let’s get to the part where you tell us something about yourself!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 819

You deserved it 148

By tipmeover - 28/01/2015 13:09 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I had a job interview at a café. The interviewer asked me my availability and I told her that I was fully flexible. She laughed and said, "Really? That's tragic." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 316

You deserved it 2 747

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The Top

Today, there was a big party at my workplace. The only person that was socializing with me in any way was my co-worker's 4-year-old daughter. Before leaving, she drew smiley faces on plastic plates and napkins and gave them to me so I "will have some friends and not be all alone." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 520

You deserved it 1 968

Today, I dropped my phone in the toilet in a public restroom. That would have been bad enough, without the guy in the next stall saying, "Jesus! What the hell did you eat?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 870

You deserved it 3 504

Today, thanks to a new form of birth control, I've now been having my period non-stop for six weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 269

You deserved it 4 555

Today, I got into an argument with my dad in his hotel room. I lost my temper and stormed out onto the balcony for some fresh air, at which point he decided to lock the door behind me, trapping me there for half an hour while he watched TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 959

You deserved it 12 143

Today I saved my wife's puppy from drowning in an icy pond and I ended up in the ER struggling to breath from the water in my lungs. When my wife showed up to see me, I caught her flirting with my doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 785

You deserved it 352

Today, my mental state went down another 2 levels when after 2 years of unemployment, I finally got offered a great job abroad. However, I probably won't even be able to go because I've reached the point where I'm too broke to even apply to get my passport made. FML

I agree, your life sucks 976

You deserved it 163