The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

It's the monstaaaaah

By Anonymous - 02/02/2021 21:30

Today, a 4 year-old saw me and started crying and screaming like heck. I mean, I knew that I didn't look good, but this is too much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 809

You deserved it 103

Thanks dude!

By Megan - 11/07/2023 12:00

Today, my car broke down at a red light. A man pulled up next to me and yelled at me to get out of the fast lane. I thought he was gonna offer help, as I was a young woman on her own, but he just yelled at me and sped off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 720

You deserved it 250

The writing's on the wall

By Anonymous - 14/12/2024 03:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my wife told me I’m not worth the trouble. She’d rather overextend herself for complete strangers than spend any time with me. I should've seen this coming. Even before we got married, her favourite line was, “You already had children with someone else, we’ll never be a family.” I tried for nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488

You deserved it 467

Double shift

By mook05 - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of six months is not actually on vacation with her cousin but is moving in with her fiancé. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 832

You deserved it 3 261

By Anonymous - 06/05/2009 00:27 - Canada

Today, as I finished putting self tanner on my legs, the phone rang. Telemarketer. After returning to the bathroom I put moisturizer on my face. As I looked in the mirror, I soon realized I'd forgotten to wash my hands. My face is now streaky orange. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 598

You deserved it 51 138

Republicans scrap child marriage bans

By what year is this?! - 27/03/2022 22:00 - United States

Today, I found out my 17 year-old cousin is getting married. My hyper religious family swears my concerns are just “masking” my jealousy. Yeah sorry for thinking such a young person, who is still a child, should have her own life before making such a huge decision. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 002

You deserved it 184

My legacy

By ManyRegrets - 15/07/2023 03:00 - United States - Bloomsburg

Today, I found out that the one who got away just had a baby, and named it after me. My current longtime girlfriend and I already decided not to have kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 221

You deserved it 748

By betamaxjim - 19/11/2012 20:06 - United Kingdom

Today, as I left class, I felt a tug on my rucksack from behind. Thinking it was just someone deliberately dragging me back, I struggled to let myself free and shouted, "Let go!" I looked over my shoulder just to find that one the straps was trapped in the doorhandle. Everyone was in hysterics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 205

You deserved it 29 058

Or does he?

By Anonymous - 09/02/2021 00:30

Today, I read a message from someone on Instagram asking if I wanted to "hook up with a nice guy sometime." It was my uncle – he doesn't recognize his own family before messaging them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 102

You deserved it 75

Disturbing the peace

By Anonymous - 07/04/2022 22:00

Today, I tried to tell a kid he couldn't skate without a helmet. He called me a Karen and pushed me into a fountain, so I called the cops. The cops arrived and questioned the kid, who said I deserved it for being a Karen. They accepted that, and told me to stop harassing kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 1 952

By kirstyrd - 12/08/2014 06:07 - United States - Germfask

Today, was the first day my grandma has seen me since I started going to tanning beds. She is now considering taking me out of her will because I look like "a damn Indian". FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 020

You deserved it 36 140

Wage slave

By Anonymous - 18/07/2023 00:02 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I talked to my boss about my pay decrease since switching job locations, and how I feel I should be getting a bit more. Her response? “Absolutely not.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 768

You deserved it 127

By Anonymous - 08/08/2014 19:34 - United States

Today, I realized that my dog, who's 11, eats his own shit, and chews bones like crazy still has 10 times nicer teeth than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 466

You deserved it 8 389

By bananayellowteeth - 03/05/2009 08:37 - United States

Today, I went to the dentist. After drilling my teeth for what seemed like hours, he gave me a long speech about how if I continue to smoke, the yellowing of my teeth won't be the only problem. I don't smoke. I never have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 878

You deserved it 9 078

Capitalism, baby!

By Anonymous - 10/02/2021 16:58 - United States

Today, it's day three of my dad not shutting up and still complaining about the Super Bowl commercials being "too woke". FML

I agree, your life sucks 790

You deserved it 237

By Anonymous - 15/10/2010 22:52 - United States

Today, my mother gave me an early Christmas present; a Bissell mop so I can "do a better job" when I "clean her floors". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 045

You deserved it 3 973

Doggy dog world

By Anonymous - 15/02/2021 21:30

Today, someone let my puppy escape. I didn't know, until I arrived home and hit him with my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 363

You deserved it 114

By Anonymous - 02/08/2014 04:00 - United States - Houston

Today, my girlfriend interrupted my proposal to take a selfie with the ice cream I had just bought her. She then said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 194

You deserved it 6 475

By Anonymous - 28/05/2013 05:05 - United States

Today, my grandma's chihuahua was run over while I was taking her for a walk. She later whispered to me, "It should have been you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 058

You deserved it 8 110

By John - 15/11/2009 06:08 - Australia

Today, I parked my convertible in the 5 minute bay at the post office. When I came back out I noticed a bum in the front seat pretending to drive it. After shouting at him and pulling him out, he stumbled off. I was then slapped with a ticket for being parked longer than 5 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 509

You deserved it 6 276

By brokeass - 13/06/2012 12:29 - United States

Today, I called the landlord about the mouse I keep seeing in my kitchen. He wasted no time accusing me of keeping it as a pet, and went off on me about his "no pets" policy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 243

You deserved it 1 980

Run run run

By runner - 14/11/2009 07:15 - United States

Today, I went for a run in a new pair of shoes that left me with huge blisters. As I finished cleaning them up so they could heal, I limped to my bed to take a nap. I was woken by the fire alarm. My building was having a drill and we couldn't use the elevators. I live on the 9th floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 039

You deserved it 3 803

Survivalist

By John Johnson - 10/04/2022 02:00

Today, a friend moved into my new house. He was a great roommate years ago, but COVID seems to have driven him mad. He brought a huge stockpile of non-perishable food, and keeps talking about "fortifying" the house. He's trying to build a composting outhouse right now. Send help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 917

You deserved it 235

Unreasonable

By Rowyn - 04/01/2025 09:00 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, my family got mad at me and called me a "selfish" for not moving to the same state they’re in while I was visiting, so they could be closer to my kid. We were living in the same house as them until two years ago, in my current state, until they decided to move with only a month's notice for me to find a new place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 555

You deserved it 82

Home improvement

By ... - 27/07/2014 05:51 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I found my 6 year-old daughter upstairs, lying on the floor with scissors. She was giving, "the carpet a haircut." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 334

You deserved it 5 396

Lonely, so lonely…

By Anonymous - 23/04/2022 14:00

Today, as I watched my male and female dogs frolic, play, and lick each other, it occurred to me there's more love and romance between them than I have ever had in my whole damned life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 182

Bad time for insurance denials

By Anonymous - 06/01/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, my car broke down dead in the middle of the highway. As I was unable to get it out of the road, it was impounded, and my insurance won't help. Now I'm further in debt and struggling to get to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 88

Part-ay!

By Anonymous - 16/08/2026 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband invited 20 of his friends over, no discussion, just 20 strangers in my house. I got mad and went upstairs to our bedroom, which has an en suite shower. I got naked, and yet another dude came out of our en suite and walked right past my bare ass while I screamed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 94

By NCanalyst - 11/11/2009 20:28 - Norway

Today, I interviewed potential employees for a job position that I was supposed to get promoted to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 557

You deserved it 2 371

Bad boy!

By Carrie - 23/02/2021 21:30

Today, I was enjoying my dinner by my patio window when I spotted a cat roaming through my backyard. As I observed it explore my yard, I also watched as it climbed onto, then took a piss on the freshly clean clothes I had left to dry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 908

You deserved it 147

FML on Facebook

Keywords

My ex I need your advice Love Money Capitalism Work Embarrassing Divorce Education Miscellaneous Relatable Health Sports Abuse Kids Annoying Hospital Wanker Intimacy Addiction Management Language DIY Mysterious Awkward Cars Cooking Coworkers Anniversary Transportation

The Top

Today, due to a flat tire, I only had 20 minutes to complete a 35 minute walk to catch my train. I ended up sprinting up the snow-covered frozen hill in heels, luggage in hand, only to arrive 1 minute in time, and to find out that the train had been cancelled. Next train in 1 hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 856

You deserved it 3 416

Today, I was in a cinema watching a movie to review in the local paper. Suddenly, the guy behind me leans in and starts whispering and hissing, "Do it... Do... It. DO IT" for the rest of the movie. I'm still not sure what he wanted me to do, but he did smell of vomit and had a tea-cosy on his head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 083

You deserved it 2 759

Today, I had two surprises for my boyfriend who was at work. One was a dessert and the other was sexy lingerie. He chose the dessert. Then told me I was an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 543

You deserved it 5 121

Today, after always thinking I wasn't ugly, just fat, I've lost 30kg and it now turns out I was wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 022

You deserved it 135

Today, I realized it became my duty as an American to check in on nearby friends and family every time another mass shooting happens. My government refuses to do anything about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 694

You deserved it 388

Today, while on a first date, I leaned in to kiss her, but my lips somehow brushed against her nose instead. I panicked and ended up kissing her forehead like a grandma saying goodbye to a child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 159

You deserved it 358