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Come on, man

By Steve - 24/09/2021 17:01

Today, I went to a White Sox game, and tried to purchase some pizza. There was a huge line behind me, and as soon as I got the pizza, the lady at the register told me that my card was declined. I tried 3 more times and still declined. Turns out Geico charged me twice on my insurance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 230

You deserved it 109

More details please

By Grandma has no filter - 08/12/2022 22:00 - United States

Today, I listened to my grandma monologue about how if my uncle was born first, my mother (and consequently, I) would not exist. I then got to listen to her rant about what a terror he was. Let's just say I learned and heard some things I'd rather have not known. FML

I agree, your life sucks 754

You deserved it 137

By Dudeman5000 - 21/01/2009 06:59 - France

Today, I get home and there's a package waiting for me. I ordered something online 2 weeks ago for a girl I like. She's not available anymore. No refunds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 644

You deserved it 5 900

Cogs in the machine

By Anonymous - 25/09/2021 05:01 - United Kingdom - Lincoln

Today, I was dismissed from my job for my poor absence record. I'd not received any formal warnings, and was dismissed on the spot. My absences were because of my disability. He didn't even ask for medical records. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 022

You deserved it 178

By Fv-day - 14/02/2010 16:32 - United States

Today, I received a notice that my boyfriend had given me a rose via Happy Aquarium on Facebook. It came with a date cancellation so that he and his friends could play BioShock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 658

You deserved it 4 654

By indian:( - 18/01/2009 21:57 - United States

Today, I realized that I hate lying to my mom about having a boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 014

You deserved it 33 143

Felt that

By jdot747 - 18/01/2009 01:48 - Canada

Today, I posted a question on a forum asking if my week-old nipple piercing would get hooked on anything easily. People assured me that it would be fine. An hour later, I had to climb over a wall to get something and in lowering myself down I forgot about it and dragged my nipple along the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 705

You deserved it 29 728

Cheapskate

By spyrogers1677 - 17/12/2022 12:00 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, as always, my boss is too cheap to buy more than 2 profiles for a critical software. Six employees compete in a daily thunderdome to log on and do their work before getting kicked off and losing everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 036

You deserved it 102

OK then…

By Anonymous - 16/11/2025 00:00

Today, in a grocery store, the cashier asked if we found everything OK. Before I could answer, my kid said, “Mom says the shop smells like poor people.” I don’t even remember saying that, but judging by the cashier’s face it must be a family business. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 446

By fml - 21/02/2015 02:54 - United States - Denver

Today, three days after finally having a bed to sleep on, I woke up with multiple bedbug bites. I can't use my blankets, wear any of my clothes and it's back to sleeping on the floor for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 410

You deserved it 2 634

By dogwheels - 20/12/2011 11:54 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to sit and listen to my co-worker moan about how early he has to get up tomorrow to go on his ski holiday in France over Christmas. He also complained about how tiring skiing is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 884

You deserved it 2 432

By Mikabe - 14/02/2011 18:51 - Sweden

Today, I was working as an intern at a day care. One of the kids touched my chest a couple of times, and I jokingly told him that he shouldn't touch old and ugly women like me. So he started groping the little girls instead. When the other teachers asked him why, he said I had told him to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 444

You deserved it 12 986

Maturity level

By Clairebear - 07/05/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I went on a date with someone I'd met online. Everything was going surprisingly well, until I knocked over my drink, spilling it all over my date's lap. In a panic, I blurted out, "Dude, did you piss yourself?" Needless to say, there will be no second date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 843

Thanks…

By Anonymous - 18/11/2025 00:00

Today, I was told Thanksgiving was cancelled after I'd already sent $100 to my sister-in-law to help with food costs. It turns out that it wasn't cancelled, I was just uninvited so her friends could go. I can't afford a meal for myself. I hope they all get food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 570

You deserved it 70

By randomnamehere - 27/07/2009 18:22 - United States

Today, my brother decided it would be funny to squirt disappearing ink on my wedding dress right before I walked down the aisle. It didn't disappear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 859

You deserved it 3 377

Awww, my feefees

By Erick - 12/05/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I saw a beautiful girl at the bar. I attempted to be friendly and hit her up for a chat. She called me a “creep” and told me to get lost. A few moments later, another guy does the exact same thing I did and she smiled and kept flirting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 298

By Rubyscooby212 - 15/02/2015 04:07 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, alone on Valentine's day, I decided to eat chocolate and watch romantic comedies in bed. I had an allergic reaction to the chocolate which sent me to the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 360

You deserved it 3 745

By anonymous - 17/12/2011 02:06 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my friends. All throughout, some guy kept making weird sounds and breathing deeply. Midway through the movie, he got even louder. Just as I was about to snap, chunks of vomit sprayed over my chair and shoulders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 067

You deserved it 2 536

By blinded - 11/02/2011 16:14 - United States

Today, I went to get a facial. I forgot my contact case so I put them into paper cup. My beautician thought it was leftover water from someone else, and threw my only pair of vision aid away. I scuttled home half blind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 194

You deserved it 26 840

Jealous much?

By Anonymous - 09/02/2010 06:12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told my hamster he loved her. Repeatedly. In 'cute' baby voices. He has yet to say it to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 392

You deserved it 5 798

Landlords gonna landlord

By Anonymous - 28/12/2022 15:00 - Germany

Today, our landlord came over to chop down our cherished apple tree. While doing so, he ate one of the apples, concurring that they really did taste excellent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 294

You deserved it 133

Brainrot

By sharon - 14/12/2011 21:21 - United States

Today, I was giving a presentation at work, when I said, "But we could care less about that." My boss asked if I meant, "Couldn't care less." Wanting to avoid embarrassment, I tried to think up an excuse, only to end up blurting that it was my phone's auto-correct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 589

You deserved it 35 297

Scam off

By Ajinder - 29/11/2025 22:00

Today, I have a Twitter (currently X) account where I pretended to be a hot girl that has been active for years. I made good money off the account until the update came and showed that I'm from India. Now I have lost most of my active followers and must start over. FUCK YOU, ELON MUSK! FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 782

Stuck

By Miki13 - 11/11/2012 20:27 - Canada - Whitby

Today, I had dinner with my grandparents. At the table, my grandfather openly complained about how hard it is for him to get out of their hot tub. Not because of his prosthetic leg, but because his balls somehow "get stuck". I really didn't need to know that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 999

You deserved it 1 737

By LimpMcgee - 07/02/2011 02:36 - United States

Today, I went to go use an automatic cart in Walmart because I broke my hip in January. They were all being used by morbidly obese people throughout the store. I asked a manager if she could get me one, but apparently their weight issues are more impeding than my broken hip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 187

You deserved it 3 664

By uncleaning - 22/07/2009 23:03 - United States

Today, after I cleaned out the fridge of things that expired months ago, my roommate got angry and insisted upon pulling all the moldy dairy products out of the garbage and putting them back because "they weren't mine and I shouldn't throw out other people's food." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 627

You deserved it 4 611

Office supplies

By Nervous - 04/12/2025 03:00

Today, during a Zoom meeting, I tried to discreetly mute myself before yelling at my printer for jamming again. I wasn’t muted. My whole team listened as I threatened a piece of office equipment with violence. My boss suggested therapy for “Printer anger.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 160

You deserved it 404

By Anonymous - 17/10/2013 16:12 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I let a friend cut my hair. I soon went from having a 'fro to looking like I lost a fight with a lawn mower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 770

You deserved it 17 395

Oh great…

By stressedandcrowded - 05/02/2011 16:33 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my sister is going to spend the last two months of her pregnancy in my house to be with my mother. She's bringing her three wild children with her. The visit also happens to coincide with my end of year examinations in May and June. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 103

You deserved it 3 366

The pirate look

By Anonymous - 13/11/2008 03:01 - France

Today, I scratched my cornea and have to wear a large bandage covering my eye. I'm off today, but I'll probably have to wear it to school tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 079

You deserved it 5 981

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The Top

Today, I'm so broke that I'm thinking about using a glass of whiskey and a pair of pliers to pull out my broken wisdom teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 080

You deserved it 1 349

Today, my husband sent me a link to an article titled "5 ways you are unknowingly destroying your husband and killing your marriage." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 162

You deserved it 7 810

Today, I finally received the bicycle I ordered months ago. It was an expensive custom-made bike which perfectly fit my 6'9" frame. Today, that bike got stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 610

You deserved it 4 398

Today, I found out the bed I sleep in is the bed I was conceived in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 433

You deserved it 3 725

Today, my ex-boyfriend wrote to me for the first time in years, because of the whole Covid-19 situation. Did he want to make sure I am okay? No. In fact, he didn't even ask about me. He just seemed to consider this the perfect opportunity to patronize me some more, and felt the need to tell me to "keep calm." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 686

You deserved it 277

Today, my mental illness hit rock bottom when I caught myself wishing I was buried next to my dog because nothing makes me happy anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 67