The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

By shadowsorel - 30/08/2012 20:34 - United States - Chicago

Today, I have a cold, and was stuck sleeping in bed. My roommate decided to wake me up by sticking headphones in my ears and playing heavy metal on full volume. This is the third time this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 436

You deserved it 2 671

By pvtcab - 05/10/2011 18:52 - United States

Today, my roommate and I had to pay our first installment of rent. He's nowhere to be found. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 102

You deserved it 3 054

Who the **** are you?

By silly_billy - 11/06/2009 05:08 - United States

Today, I was eating lunch with my wife. We were having a nice time when a man came up to me. He said, "Hey! Bill how are you?" I wasn't really sure, so being polite I said, "I'm sorry, I can't remember your name." He frowned and walked away. It was my company's Chairman of the Board. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 389

You deserved it 54 755

Surprise indeed

By Anonymous - 11/04/2023 00:00

Today, to surprise my boss who promoted me within the first two months of my new job, I offered to take him and a couple of coworkers out to eat. We had one minor inconvenience: my bank card declined. I was 200$ in the negative. Apparently my wife decided to take the kids winter clothes shopping. It’s fucking April. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 074

You deserved it 256

WFH

By Zzz - 30/01/2017 22:00 - United States - Brighton

Today, I took a team meeting from home. More specifically, my bed. Because I make great decisions, I ended up falling asleep. At some point during my nap, my cat walked over my keyboard, turning on my webcam. I woke up to my video on and no one left in the meeting. Everyone saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 379

You deserved it 5 895

Still pining

By Anonymous - 08/11/2020 11:03 - Austria - Innsbruck

Today, I had a meeting in the town where my ex-girlfriend works. After the meeting, I bought some ice cream and sat on a bench in a public place. She came across with her girlfriends laughing and obviously having fun. She only looked in my direction briefly. I threw the ice cream into the trash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 1 255

Nice try

By Anonymous - 23/01/2022 14:00 - Philippines

Today, I got drunk until morning at a college friend's apartment with bunch of strangers. Some officials came in due to the noise and I tried to scare them away by pretending to sing a latin song of worship I made up, thinking they'd respect the gathering if it was a religious one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 197

You deserved it 1 509

Duplicitous

By Anonymous - 12/04/2023 22:00 - United States

Today, I went on a blind date with a guy who looked like Ryan Gosling in his profile pictures. When I arrived at the restaurant, he was wearing a tank top, flip flops, and looked more like an actual Gosling, but not as cute. He then had the audacity to bail, stating I was skinnier than I was in my pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 768

You deserved it 181

Walk on the wild side

By Anonymous - 11/11/2020 14:01 - United States - Tyler

Today, I had to go get my fiancé's car so it wouldn't get impounded after he was arrested at 12 a.m. and charged with a felony. I just got out of prison in March, and we get married next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 654

You deserved it 3 329

By Anonymous - 08/06/2009 21:11 - United States

Today, it was my two-and-a-half year anniversary with my girlfriend, a small but noble occasion. She surprised me with an invention of hers, a plate of triple-chocolate double-mint cookies topped with Andes mints. I surprised her by crashing her new Mustang into a cement divider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 087

You deserved it 51 361

Medicare for all, now!

By Anonymous - 24/02/2022 10:00 - United States - Burlington

Today, I got health insurance for the first time in six years! I'm paying a ton of money each month for a plan that hardly covers anything. I will still go bankrupt me if anything bad actually happens, but I can't afford monthly premiums on anything better. Thank you, USA healthcare system. Single payer, anyone? FML

I agree, your life sucks 987

You deserved it 216

Be careful what you wish for

By FoxyFlower - 16/04/2023 03:00 - United States - Lake Butler

Today, my husband found my diary in which I talked about inviting another man into our bedroom. He left for a while and came back with a friend of his. My fantasy may become reality but I'm terrified what it will do to our relationship. I put them off for now, but I don't know what to do. He's all for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 557

You deserved it 2 104

By fuckshit - 04/11/2014 14:01

Today, I witnessed a hit-and-run. I used my phone to write down the license plate for the police. However, I didn't notice that my phone had autocorrected the number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 400

You deserved it 4 617

SO FRUSTRATIIIIIING

By Bored to death - 17/04/2023 00:00 - United States

Today, I found out one of the main causes of my depression is that my life is too sheltered and boring. My doctor and many of my friends have advised me to find a hobby. Except, everything I would like to do is either too expensive and/or impossible due to my disabilities and other mental disorders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 817

You deserved it 295

Don't blame me

By anonymous - 15/11/2020 05:02 - United States

Today, I got suspended from school for smoking in the stairs. I'm grounded for a month without my phone, TV or any type of social connection. All of this would seem like a fair enough punishment if I actually smoked, but instead I just smell like my parent's second-hand smoke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 826

You deserved it 167

Brand recognition

By Okay doctor - 26/02/2022 10:00

Today, after a 20-minute conversation, I'm still unable to convince my grandmother that Tylenol and Acetaminophen are the same thing. I just graduated med school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 861

You deserved it 89

Turtle

By Anonymous - 18/04/2023 22:00 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, even though I diet and go to the gym, due to my hypothyroidism I'm now so overweight that when I went to hospital for an unrelated check up, the gorgeous nurse actually had to press and move around my fat-filled groin to make my penis pop out of its hiding place under the skin. I hate myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 304

You deserved it 302

Grief and capitalism

By Sad - 17/09/2024 06:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was accused of faking tears and lying about my pop's death to get out of work. I was even demoted for being "a liar and untrustworthy." I went home to grieve after finding out he only has a few days left to live. That man raised me. I feel totally broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 615

You deserved it 97

By Anonymous - 22/08/2012 06:01 - Australia - Camberwell

Today, the man who tried to mug me sent me a friend request on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 707

You deserved it 2 126

By Anonymous - 04/12/2010 23:31 - Canada

Today, I got a birthday card from my parents. It was my sister's from earlier in the year. They scratched out her name and wrote mine underneath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 589

You deserved it 2 633

By CRWMEN - 22/12/2009 05:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend canceled our date I've been looking forward to all week because her dog was having puppies. She doesn't have a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 439

You deserved it 3 293

Consider yourself warned

By Anonymous - 26/02/2022 16:00

Today, I was warned by a friend that unless I make more effort with my boyfriend, he'll be snapped up by someone else, and proved it by showing me text screenshots of at least three women I know who are all hoping to pounce on him when I eventually fuck it up so badly he dumps me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 302

By Anonymous - 24/09/2011 09:12 - United States

Today, I found out my fiancé is in the market for a new girlfriend. How? He used my credit card to sign up for 3 dating sites. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 439

You deserved it 3 172

Do not pass Go

By Imnotfromhere - 27/01/2022 08:01

Today, I got banned from an art group and put in Facebook jail because I made fun of my own artwork, which I'd posted in a group. I guess you're not allowed to be your own worst critic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 987

You deserved it 229

Tumbler

By Anonymous - 27/04/2023 18:00

Today, I decided to clean out my closet and donate some clothes to charity. As I was carrying a heavy bag of clothes down the stairs, I tripped and fell, spilling everything everywhere. I had to start all over again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 606

You deserved it 147

Salivating

By Anonymous - 30/11/2010 06:08 - United States

Today, I flew into Denver. Never having been here before, I was excited to see the view from our window. In the middle seat, I leaned over to look - at the same time yawning to relieve pressure in my ears. The yawning caused me to drool on the stranger sitting next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 631

You deserved it 29 554

Comfy

By chrono64 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found a pair of glasses in my car. I don't wear glasses, and nobody besides myself has been in my car lately. It appears that someone has been sleeping in my car and forgot their glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 837

You deserved it 3 446

Holidays are a serious business

By Lewis - 21/12/2018 00:30

Ain't nobody got time for that!

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 86

Sticky situation

By AloneAtPerkins - 26/11/2020 10:58 - United States - West Bend

Today, I drove all the way to another state and dealt with Chicago traffic on the way just to learn to drive stick. I couldn't learn, because the truck was suddenly unavailable, and when it was available again, whoever had it last lost the keys. Guess I gotta make another trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 806

You deserved it 120

Pretty vacant

By So losing the last name - 26/09/2024 00:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, at our usual family gathering, Big Grandpa, the family patriarch, said with his loud super authoritative voice, "Hey! Where is granddaughter?" I responded, "Here, Grandpa!" He then disgruntledly yelled, "NO! I meant my PRETTY granddaughter!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 544

You deserved it 90

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Work Annoying Hospital Management Language DIY Miscellaneous Relatable Mysterious Awkward Cars Embarrassing Cooking Coworkers Love Anniversary Divorce Transportation Surgery Health Healthy Lifestyle Growing old Money Technology Ironic Horses Animals Relationships Jealousy Birds

The Top

Today, I discovered my cat's favorite hobby: sitting butthole-first on my favorite makeup brush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 764

You deserved it 3 481

Today, my mother, who is 75 years-old, just told me and my sister that we were adopted. I'm 45 years-old and my sister is 49. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 903

You deserved it 2 310

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years almost broke up with me. Why? Our one month old's hair is growing in blonde, and we both have dark hair. Did I cheat? No. I had blonde hair as a child until I was 4... As did everyone else born in my family. I guess this factor doesn't count when you're paranoid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 048

You deserved it 5 707

Today, I realized that my social life is so dead that the only thing I do that involves other people is read FML. I don't even participate in the comments. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 799

You deserved it 1 114

Today, I came out to my therapist as gay. Claiming that my parents "can't be that homophobic", my therapist outed me to them. They kicked me out of the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 002

You deserved it 456

Today, I confiscated my daughter’s tablet, phone and laptop after I caught her exchanging nudes with boys. My ex then called me in a rage, threatening to take me to court over “stealing his belongings” since he purchased them. No concern for our daughter’s behavior, just him wanting the stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 425

You deserved it 176