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What's the plan?

By Anonymous - 16/07/2024 00:00 - Canada - Capreol

Today, and for the last two weeks, my husband has been playing hide and go seek with the internet router and my iPad to, I guess, try and punish/annoy me. I keep finding them, use them when he’s not home, and put them back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 126

By Anonymous - 01/07/2009 06:37 - United States

Today, I learned that shaving my unibrow while drunk/high was a terrible idea. I also learned that one brow looks better than no brow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 986

You deserved it 56 308

Bad guest

By Unknown - 23/12/2014 18:25 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, I learned to never invite my father to a wedding. He'll show up late, complain about the food, piss on a tree, and leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 707

You deserved it 3 055

By fmlifer - 04/11/2011 04:29 - United States

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the cheek at school. I missed, and walked away awkwardly. Later on, a teacher stopped me and told me how bad I failed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 520

You deserved it 9 171

Mind your own beeswax

By Aiedail - 03/03/2023 00:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, after months of watching it brewing, my best friend, who I love dearly, slept with the girl I've disliked for almost as long. It’s not my place to be hurt, we’re not together, but the idea just fills my heart with hopelessness and sadness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 524

By StillSingle - 29/06/2009 18:14 - United States

Today, I went to my friend's beautiful wedding. The only other single girl there was 5 years old. She caught the bouquet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 347

You deserved it 5 107

By angry - 28/06/2009 21:05 - United States

Today, I went to go get a new ID because my wallet was stolen, which had my social security card in it as well. I found out that to get your ID you have to have your social security card, and to get your social security card, you need your ID. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 119

You deserved it 8 696

****** around, found out

By Anonymous - 01/03/2023 04:00 - United States

Today, I tried to decorate my coffee table by following a DIY project I found on Pinterest, but I ended up ruining it and now have to buy a new one instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 232

You deserved it 823

Blame bad TV plots

By The kids aren't alright - 14/02/2026 20:00

Today, I learned that my 11 year-old daughter wrote a love letter to her teacher. Cute, right? It was an incredibly graphic letter where she asked him to "abduct her and chain her up in his basement." I now must find her a new school and a therapist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 95

Doomscrolling

By Anonymous - 04/03/2023 00:00

Today, it's only when my mom knocked on the door and asked, "Are you alright in there?" that I realised that I had been scrolling through the same Instagram feed whilst sat on the toilet for an hour. My legs had gone numb and I'm pretty sure the toilet seat is forever engraved in my arse cheeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 1 149

By Anonymous - 02/09/2013 18:22 - United States

Today, I was feeling abnormally self-confident, so I decided to skip putting on any makeup. The first thing my 7-year-old cousin said when she saw me was, "You look like my pet rat!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 643

You deserved it 5 393

CUT IT OUT!

By Anonymous - 06/03/2023 18:00

Today, I went to see a movie by myself and ended up sitting next to a couple on a first date, who spent the whole movie whispering to each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 773

You deserved it 170

Oh yeah, wait what…?

By Phyllis79 - 28/07/2024 00:00 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I was having lunch with a friend when I went on a rant about how much I really dislike my boss, ranting about all his annoying habits. After a long tirade, my friend looked at me awkwardly and said, "You do realize he's my uncle, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 476

By Anonymous - 14/12/2014 11:55 - Australia

Today, it's been months since I dropped out of college to escape constantly being bullied and being miserable. Ever since then, I've been having recurring nightmares with the same people bullying me, after which I wake up crying and feeling miserable. My brain is a douchebag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 647

You deserved it 4 907

By Anonymous - 20/12/2009 11:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I sent a christmas card to my husband's uncle and aunt. I'd forgotten that the uncle died last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 740

You deserved it 35 891

By NoMoney4Me - 24/09/2012 10:48 - United States - York

Today, I went for a job interview. Before giving me a tour, the manager pointed to my purse and said, "Better leave that in my office." I didn't know why it was safer in her office than on my shoulder, but I complied. Later, I went to buy coffee and discovered that all my cash was missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 846

You deserved it 3 989

Spray it

By GoldenShower - 25/06/2009 10:17 - United States

Today, I was awoken by my son squirting liquid on me from a bottle. We have a high deer population in our area, so I spray urine contained in black bottle on my plants to help deter the deer from eating them. I also water my flowers with water from a blue bottle. My son used the black one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 986

You deserved it 8 099

By notahomewrecker - 09/01/2010 16:07 - United States

Today, I got a call from the guy I'd been seeing for a few weeks. It was his wife calling to find out what was going on with us. He told me he was separated. He left his kids home alone to hook up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 933

You deserved it 5 040

Emotional support

By Anonymous - 10/01/2022 17:01

Today, I went to the emergency room with my boyfriend, only to sit there for 3 hours waiting for him to be seen, then having an argument with him about how impatient I am because they never called his name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 948

Lovebombing

By Anonymous - 15/03/2023 04:00

Today, the woman who wanted a relationship, sent me heart kisses multiple times a day every day, and claimed that everything was perfect, bailed on me after I asked her if she could fit in one more than the current four days a month we see each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 750

You deserved it 120

Oral relief

By Anonymous - 24/02/2026 20:00

Today, I went to the store with my mask on, as usual. As I walked past a guy, he reached out and tore the mask off my face, revealing my secret: a pacifier I use to control my horrible anxiety and agoraphobia. I froze, then collapsed to the ground screaming, and had a stress-triggered seizure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 552

By FattyMcFatterson - 24/06/2009 02:37 - United States

Today, in the shower, a dime fell on my foot. The only place it could have come from? One of my fat rolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 238

Gaslighting

By Anonymous - 16/01/2022 11:01

Today, after I found out that my new partner was messaging her ex, and she hid it from me, lied about it, and made out I was seeing things, we got over it, because after all I thought it was an innocent enough explanation and I believed her, she has now been doing it again with another ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 968

You deserved it 434

Liar liar

By Anonymous - 27/02/2026 09:00

Today, I got reprimanded at work for calling off when I wasn’t sick. Apparently someone at the store saw me making online videos. What a great day to try starting my influencer brand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 1 095

By Don't text and work - 23/06/2009 05:04 - France

Today, at work I got told off by my manager for texting while working. Enraged by this, I trash talked her to the new girl at work. The new girl, a.k.a. my manager's daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 158

You deserved it 68 938

Countdown

By Anonymous - 20/03/2023 02:00

Today, I finally got all of my finances to move out of my house. My mother, instead of being happy for me for moving out of her house, blames me because she needs my rent money, states I will not be happy out in the world and disowned me because I didn't move out when she wanted me to. She wanted me to stay until she was 55. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 101

You deserved it 96

Know your place

By Anonymous - 06/12/2014 18:23 - United States

Today, I asked my boss for a raise. I pointed out that due to a technicality, if he hired someone to replace me, he'd have to pay them more anyway. He said he'd gladly pay more for "someone who knows his goddamn place" and made it clear I'll be jobless very soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 516

You deserved it 9 056

Thanks

By badeats - 22/06/2009 05:43 - United States

Today, I visited my grandma. She offered me some chips in a Ziploc bag. I thought they were sour cream and onion chips from the look of them. They tasted funny, but I didn't want to be rude and I kept eating. I looked closer after a while and noticed that what I thought were chives was actually mold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 627

You deserved it 9 311

Alexa, play "I'm a Realist" by The Cribs

By cynical - 05/10/2020 05:01 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was reading a romance story about a couple that fights, but gets back together and works out their issues. I was rooting for the breakup because I've become so cynical, I think forgiveness is weak and trust is for suckers. Yup, I'm now heartless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 871

You deserved it 509

I don't wanna

By Anonymous - 11/10/2020 14:02 - Estonia

Today my mother, who was once shocked to realise that my older sister was having unmarried sex, told me to go and 'get some' because it's good for my health. I'm asexual. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 230

You deserved it 397

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The Top

Today, my college charged me for tuition for next semester. I graduated two years ago. I have a degree from a place too stupid to only charge current students. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 659

You deserved it 2 349

Today, in a fit of paranoid hysteria, my mom threw out my phone, claiming the NSA can look through the camera to spy on me. I guess that's why you're still using your own phone to sext your latest boyfriend, eh mom? FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 187

You deserved it 3 021

Today, I was at the movies. All of a sudden, the woman next to me starts laughing uncontrollably and talking to her friend during the movie. This continued throughout the movie, ruining it. I turned and whispered to my friend. The woman then taps me on the shoulder and yells, "Shut the fuck up!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 684

You deserved it 4 770

Today, I’m unemployed with no children and hardly any social life, so you’d think my life was a constant, boring holiday, when in fact I'm so busy every day that I think I might have to designate myself a “day off” just to recover from the stress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 367

Today, I got home from school after having been in a fight. I looked to my father and asked him for advice; he said, "Go see your mother." I go to see my mother, and she says, "Go see your father." FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 100

Today, I was supposed to go to Bible Camp but my stepmom talked my dad out of letting me go because of those floods in Texas last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 250

You deserved it 135