The Top

Sooooo, this was my FML. Sadly, I didn't taste anything, since I didn't drink the water pure, but always mixed in cup-a-soup or something similar. Luckily me and my roommates are fine now, we're all a bit afraid of preparing food though, scared that there might be some kind of rodent in other kitchen devices. Obviously we threw away the water cooker (for those who didn't know what that is, seriously? you couldn't even think of what it 'might' be?) and since we got our new cat, Sammie, we haven't had any mice or rats crawling around! Yaaaay for Sammie!

Butterfingers

By caqi33 - 08/03/2011 18:23 - United States

Today, I dropped my urine sample on my pants. Not only do I now not have a sample, it looks like I pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 244

You deserved it 9 017

Tasty!

By Anonymous - 25/02/2010 16:28 - United States

Today, I was driving with my mom. She had some soda with her from earlier, and even though it was probably warm, I was thirsty. I ask for a sip, she hands it to me and says sure. And I get a mouthful of ash-and-cigarette-butt-filled soda. Apparently she didn't feel the need to mention this to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 161

You deserved it 3 697

Surprise!

By theboy6494 - 10/08/2009 20:47 - United States

Today, I came home early from business trip to Paris, where I bought an engagement ring. I was going to take my girlfriend of two years out and propose to her. I sneaked into our house as a surprise and… she was having sex with another man. Now I have a ring that I can only return in France. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 545

You deserved it 4 200

You snooze, you lose

By Anonymous - 07/10/2025 00:00

Today, my daughter has spent the last few hours moaning that the boy she’s known since they were 4 years-old got a girlfriend instead of asking her out. She’s known him for almost 20 years. If she liked him all that time, she should have asked him out herself instead of moaning at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 472

You deserved it 112

By tinygirl - 07/03/2011 06:16

Today, it's official, we measured. My boyfriend's manboobs are bigger than my breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 320

You deserved it 11 215

By dumbbass - 24/02/2010 19:43 - Canada

Today, I spilled a glass of iced tea all over my desk. It trickled down the wall and fried an extension cord. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 751

You deserved it 9 333

By owwwwwe - 09/01/2012 21:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I tried a self-tanner in an attempt to rid myself of my ghost-white legs. I got my wish, but instead of a warm golden tan, I have red, swollen, lobster-like marks sticking out from the bottom half of my torso. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 024

You deserved it 24 824

By poked - 06/03/2011 00:24 - United States

Today, my father who left my family over 10 years ago and never contacted us or paid child support, poked me on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 933

You deserved it 4 151

By susan - 24/02/2010 01:26 - United States

Today, my husband actually was cleaning our bathrooms. I had to pee and the floor was wet in my upstairs bathroom. My wonderful husband told me to go downstairs. I did and sat on the toilet seat which felt wet. He forgot he had sprayed it with Tilex. Chemical burns on your butt are great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 463

You deserved it 3 302

By Yoshi - 31/01/2009 20:01 - United States

Today, I was with the guy I am seeing and I were fooling around in my room. I asked him if he wanted to have sex. He said he didn't have time because he had to go play Mario Kart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 245

You deserved it 6 498

By satega - 10/12/2012 19:07 - United States - Smithville

Today, my family went on a family trip without me. Their reason for not bringing me? My older sister wanted extra legroom during the drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 190

You deserved it 1 946

satega tells us more.

satega 16

Tuesday 25 June 2013 21:06

Op here. Figured I'd add this tidbit, the ride originally consisted of me, my mother, my sister and my mothers boyfriend. So it really wasn't s family trip at all in ether end.