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By AmericanDream - 01/12/2011 05:41 - United States

Today, after recently moving to America as I've always dreamt of, I saw my first, majestic deer. My boyfriend slammed it with the rental car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 293

You deserved it 3 842

By Unreality - 26/01/2011 21:26 - United States

Today, I discovered my fiancé has been telling everyone else we are just friends, yet last night he wanted me to go with him to pick up my engagement ring. I'm supposing the wedding will be a surprise to everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 073

You deserved it 3 570

By Anto - 03/12/2008 06:11 - France

Today, in front of a hospital, I noticed that an old lady was having trouble lighting her cigarette because she had Parkison's. So I went to help her to light it up and she then started chatting with me and told me she had lung cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 945

You deserved it 6 917

No fun allowed

By Anonymous - 10/06/2024 16:00 - United States - Galveston

Today, I sent an email to my boss about a sensitive project. After hitting send and getting a response, I remembered I'd set my automatic reply to say, "I'm currently out of the office, enjoying a much-needed break from all the idiots I work with." My boss was not amused when he replied and got the automatic email in return. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 889

By KamiyaHaine - 02/10/2013 05:54 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I got married. The officiant of the ceremony referred to me as Amanda through my ceremony. My name is Anna. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 428

You deserved it 4 287

Can't let the big man upstairs wait

By Sirsriracha - 21/10/2021 14:01

Today, I posted bail for my mom from jail. She did a hit and run, and then resisted arrest. When I asked why she didn’t stay at the scene, she unapologetically said, “I was gonna be late to church.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 024

You deserved it 125

Show some empathy

By Anonymous - 05/02/2023 22:00 - United States - Eagle Mountain

Today, and for the past 3 days, my sister has been whining and crying about her “breakup” with her “boyfriend”. It’s the most annoying thing ever and I haven’t been able to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 660

By Mallory - 27/11/2011 23:53 - United States

Today, after admitting he had feelings for me, my crush returned from out of town. He'd said that while he was gone, he'd meet people, but only think of me. He came back no longer single. He's known her for 4 days. We've known each other for 6 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 867

You deserved it 3 982

By Anonymous - 24/01/2011 19:43 - United States

Today, I was walking to bed in fancy panties and a tight black tank top. My husband exclaimed, "This is the best part about being a grown up!" He was talking about the ice cream he was eating in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 743

You deserved it 4 847

Great job!

By spleechick - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I decided to bleach my belly hair. I bought some body hair bleach at the drug store, and I used it exactly as instructed. When I removed it, I was horrified to see my belly was about three shades lighter than the rest of my body. The hair was still exactly the same darkness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 488

You deserved it 25 004

By Rich - 26/11/2011 20:50 - United States

Today, I admitted to my wife that I'd really like to get a Prius, but I was worried that if I did, everyone would question my sexuality. She told me, "I don't know why you care, everyone already thinks you're gay." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 406

You deserved it 9 589

Bad boy

By twinkie2 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I treated myself to a cheeseburger. I left it on my coffee table while I grabbed a napkin from the kitchen. While I was gone, my dog nabbed it. Then puked it up all over my carpet. Which I then had to clean up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 479

You deserved it 14 230

By Anonymous - 14/01/2015 07:18 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I had to explain to my grandmother why, "What a nice singing voice! He doesn't sound black at all!" is not a compliment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 091

You deserved it 3 074

Damned freshmen

By CRC - 23/11/2011 15:38 - United States

Today, a freshman set off the fire alarm in my dorm at 2 a.m. He tried to microwave Easy Mac without adding water. I had to stand outside for 45 minutes while the firemen moved the noodles to the sink and ran cold water over them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 337

You deserved it 2 435

The tip of the iceberg

By Anonymous - 24/11/2021 07:58

Today, I didn't have enough money to tip my hairstylist, even though I thought I did and said I was, but I'm so broke, my card got declined at $50. I needed the haircut for an interview. I feel so f@%$>&* bad about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 994

You deserved it 299

By ughh - 22/11/2011 13:22 - United States

Today, my mom read my diary. Then she frantically booked me an appointment with a psychiatrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 132

You deserved it 5 912

Nice try

By damn... - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I was at a job conference. At lunch, I saw this stunning guy. At dessert time, I coughed so much that the piece of chocolate cake in my mouth went straight onto his glasses. I think it's too late to introduce myself now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 162

You deserved it 6 415

By Anonymous - 10/01/2015 22:12 - United States - San Pablo

Today, I gave a presentation to my college class about life with Tourette syndrome. I only got 3 minutes into it before my asswipe classmates started yelling stuff like "Shit!", "Cock!", and "Bob Saget!" I gave up and went back to my seat in tears as our bored instructor said "Next." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 636

You deserved it 3 064

Keep it hidden

By Anonymous - 13/11/2021 05:01

Today, I posted in one of my groups about my lupus and rheumatoid arthritis, and took a pic of my feet to show some of the problems that come along with these diseases (like we all do). Facebook actually covered it, saying it could be offensive! Well damn, talk about their double standards on bullying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 889

You deserved it 201

By Tyler - 19/11/2011 08:05 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. In an attempt to be romantic, I tried taking her panties off with my teeth. I got a mouthful of pubes stuck in my braces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 268

You deserved it 34 541

Bent out of shape

By Illektra - 18/11/2021 11:00

Today, I was doing my makeup. Halfway through, I asked my SO what he thought of it, as I was working on a new eyeshadow technique. He said my eyeshadow looked great, but that, "One eyebrow is up here and the other is down there," and that I should fix it. I hadn't done my eyebrows yet. That's just where they are. FML

I agree, your life sucks 837

You deserved it 174

Scumbag

By Anonymous - 07/01/2015 16:29 - Sri Lanka

Today, my scumbag landlady broke into my place and stole my mop, which I refused to give her earlier. She denied everything and tried to convince me that some criminal broke in using a key, stole only my mop, and was nice enough to lock up on the way out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 670

You deserved it 2 815

By Parental - 22/01/2010 05:08 - United States

Today, I spent 3 hours in my home recording studio. I was recording vocals and was trying to hit a very hard series of notes. I nailed it after 2 hours and listened. You can hear the vocals, but the EQ settings were tweaked in just the right way where you can hear my dog licking his nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 006

You deserved it 5 665

By FlabbyPants - 06/01/2015 02:51 - United States - Fort Myers

Today, I woke up with every muscle in my body hurting so bad I could hardly walk. Participation in a triathlon, or overdoing it at the gym? No, the results of a day spent cleaning the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 747

You deserved it 6 442

Sabotage!

By WTF - 12/10/2012 23:00 - New Zealand - Hamilton

Today, I had to eat my breakfast in terrified silence, as my hungover mother staggered into the room, shouted at the kettle for not boiling fast enough, and after a few seconds, screamed that I'd sabotaged it. I'm now grounded for supposedly trying to fuck with her head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 976

You deserved it 1 692

Meet the parents

By Scared - 28/08/2020 05:03

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Remember the show Honey Boo Boo? They seem sophisticated compared to the family of weirdoes I got to meet. It's almost got me reconsidering my planned proposal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 425

You deserved it 248

News to me

By Anonymous - 29/11/2021 14:01

Today, I checked my mom's email to track a package I'm waiting to receive. Instead, I found out my mom canceled the order, and that my parents are getting a divorce and have been fighting via email for weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 117

You deserved it 193

By icecreamer - 06/07/2009 04:03 - United States

Today, I went over to get some ice cream. I found a rare parking spot in front of the store, and even had change in my pocket. After feeding the meter, A lady comes up to me and tells me that the meter was free after 8 o'clock. I paid 50 cents for it. I was 50 cents short for my ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 048

You deserved it 12 736

October Spooks

By FML Videos - 04/10/2018 18:30

Scare or be scared.

I agree, your life sucks 268

You deserved it 71

Kids and their wacky crazes

By tclwj - 07/09/2020 05:01 - Trinidad and Tobago - Port-of-spain

Today, I bought a used SUV that had fairly dirty carpets, that got even more dirty as I drove my two daughters around. I got it professionally cleaned and detailed and it looks brand new, but now my daughters cry and scream as I put them in the clean car, because their favorite stain is not there anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 591

You deserved it 217

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The Top

Today, it was my first time with my boyfriend, at his house, in his Dora the Explorer sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 72

Today, I woke up to the faint memory of being drunk enough to draw dicks on my own face in permanent marker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 114

You deserved it 33 511

Today, at the self-checkout, I didn't have enough money for honey, so I just walked out with it and ended up getting caught. Now I have to hold a sign in front of the store wearing a big bumblebee costume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 934

You deserved it 8 780

Today, a good friend from childhood, who was my maid of honor four years ago, got married. Without me knowing about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 664

You deserved it 233

Today, I was diagnosed with social anxiety disorder (S.A.D.). I already have seasonal affective disorder (S.A.D.) and depression. That’s a lot of SADness for one person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 981

You deserved it 168

Today, I stopped using porn by blocking it on my phone and laptop. Only problem is I still get off without it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 436