Ouch By FML Videos - 19/10/2018 12:30 - United States - New York Trust no one. Nothing. agreeclassic 323 vote type 1 168 Share Tweet Share
Today, my mum's response to my psycho sister being angry and threatening my partner, was that I should make her angry at me since she needs someone to hate, and I'm the default, so I handle it better anyway. This was after I asked her to get my sister professional help, and she denied the need. FML agreeclassic 610 vote type 1 114
Today, I realized that sometimes when I sneeze, I pee a little. I’m 28 years-old and I've never had kid; I’m even a virgin. This shouldn’t be happening. FML agreeclassic 894 vote type 1 172
Today, I was supposed to have a double date. My date didn't show. I spent my day in the living room waiting for the pizza guy while my best friend and her boyfriend made out. The pizza guy never showed either. FML agreeclassic 38 576 vote type 1 3 071
Today, my girlfriend threatened to leave me unless we get married within a year and have a baby. I don’t negotiate with terrorists but now I’m gonna be single and alone over Christmas, unless I wheedle myself into my brother's Christmas, but I think I’d just ruin it for his family. FML agreeclassic 543 vote type 1 200
Today, I was making breakfast with my parrot on my shoulder. He was excited about the food, and in his rush to climb down to the counter, bit through my nipple. I had to get stitches. FML agreeclassic 1 996 vote type 1 487
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML agreeclassic 39 245 vote type 1 4 040
This is why I have trust issues...