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Hi! OP here! These comments are really making me laugh! Thank you! I told the man he couldn't have the bugs in the building, which resulted in him yelling at me saying I was "no help". He didn't want a real "bug professional" to look at them, because it would cost too much money. I ended up getting my manager, who (thankfully) made the man (and his "pets") leave the building. You could say I was bugging out over the whole thing. Ugh.

New nickname just dropped

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Midland

Today, I was talking with a very attractive coworker outside when a moth flew into my ear. I started screaming and hitting my ear because it was stuck and alive in my ear. I spent the rest of the day at the ER. I'm forever known as The Moth Lady. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 801

You deserved it 1 060

By CoolGuy69 - 12/09/2016 11:53 - Sweden - Mölnlycke

Today, I studied all night for a big test. I ended up falling asleep on the bus ride there. I woke up in a different province. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 096

You deserved it 1 881

Can't buy me love

By Anonymous - 27/04/2021 22:59

Today, my girlfriend saw my secret money stash for emergencies and broke up with me, after calling me a greedy asshole and not telling her before. According to her, we could have taken a lot of trips around the country, because, "your money is mine, too." We dated for six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 859

You deserved it 142

GGs

By deerslayer559 - 27/09/2017 23:14

Today, while playing golf, I hit my ball near some tall grass along the edge of the water. Unbeknownst to me, there was an alligator hiding in the grass. He growled at me during my shot, causing me to put the ball directly into the pond. Alligator: 1 Me: 0. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 797

You deserved it 461

How is that fair?

By Henry - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I was promoted as an auditor at an insurance company. After finding 9 compliance violations and over $15,000 returned incorrectly, I reported them to my manager. She blamed me for all the mistakes and fired me. These mistakes happened two years before I was employed with the company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 769

You deserved it 186

By damngotkik - 20/12/2017 19:00

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to use an electric sander on my arm during our construction class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 854

You deserved it 393

Bad Luck Brian

By Hayley - 24/02/2018 19:00

Today, my doctor told me that my lungs are as bad as a 60-year-old heavy smoker's. I'm 19 and I've never touched a cigarette in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 108

You deserved it 244

How shocking!

By Anonymous - 04/03/2018 01:30

Today, my brother thought it would be hilarious to put his dog shock collar on me to wake me in lieu of my alarm. You know how those cartoon characters look when they're electrocuted? That's exactly how I woke up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 471

You deserved it 389

He is worried

By Anonymous - 08/02/2020 01:00

Today, my husband asked with genuine concern if I would be able to breast feed our kids when they are born, since my boobs are so small. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 140

You deserved it 260

By boo! - 17/02/2009 08:25 - United States

Today, I saw my friend across campus, and I decided that I wanted to play a trick on her and scare her from behind. Turns out, I scared a complete stranger with really bad panic induced asthma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 540

You deserved it 43 026

By ex-wife - 25/05/2018 15:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I found out that my 50-year-old ex-husband and the 20-year-old skank he cheated on me with are buying the house next door to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 667

You deserved it 310

By klee - 08/02/2009 05:21 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling in bed. After looking at me for a while he said, "you look better when I'm not wearing my contacts". FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 340

You deserved it 2 653

By thehunterofprey - 22/06/2018 19:00

Today, I came out to my parents as gay and they reacted better than I expected. Then I found my car destroyed with a note that said "fag" on what used to be my hood. I never thought I'd have to sue my own family, but I'm lucky I have security footage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 757

You deserved it 458

Costly kitty

By fishyrael - 16/05/2020 13:20

Today, I bought $3 hair ties. I then spent the night at the emergency vet after my kitten managed to open the drawer and eat them. So today, I actually bought $1003 hair ties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 841

You deserved it 318

fishyrael tells us more.

fishyrael 28

Saturday 16 May 2020 6:27

Anyone worried, she is fine. I took her in the second I realized what she'd done. They tried to induce vomiting but she's a stubborn little thing and wasn't even affected by the procedure so they ended up having to put her under and get the hair ties out with a grabber. No surgery thankfully. She was very sleepy and wobbly after but after a nap she was back to her old hellion self. I know I could've waited to see if they would pass naturally but she's only 8 months old and hair ties can be deadly if they don't pass, and surgery would've been much more expensive and stressful for her at that point. The new hair ties are in a heavy wooden drawer that I'm certain she's not strong enough to open, unlike the light plywood desk drawer they were in before, that I am now aware she can, in fact, open.

By Anonymous - 27/07/2018 15:00 - United States - Macon

Today, as I was pulling into work at 15 weeks pregnant, I projectile vomit all over myself and my vehicle. I had an emotional breakdown as I went back home, and called my boss to let him know I would not be in that day. I am now looking for a new job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 086

You deserved it 532

Enjoy the silence

By Weter - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I fell flat on my ass while running for the subway. Made it on only to find out that it was standing by for ten minutes. I then got to ride all the way to work with a train full of people who watched me fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 499

You deserved it 3 558

Station 19 and a half

By Madisson Tharp - 26/10/2020 11:42

Today, while working on an ambulance, I got a call from my boss saying I’m fired for being sick too often. I cried in front of every patient for the last seven hours of my shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 490

You deserved it 351

Madisson Tharp tells us more.

Madisson Tharp 7

Monday 26 October 2020 9:48

Hey wow I didn’t know my FML was posted but I was in EMT school so the job I got fired from was a restaurant. I had worked for that company for almost five years and the times I called out I had actual doctors notes so I was a little devastated. But i work in a hospital now and make quadruple what I mass there so no worries now!! And yea, he was an asshole