Miscellaneous: Today, the last few seconds of my 2011 was spent staring at my... - FML

By Scarred4Life - 01/01/2012 06:18 - United States

Today, the last few seconds of my 2011 was spent staring at my drunk, naked uncle pouring olive oil over himself and rubbing it in. FML

agreeclassic 32 784

vote type 1 3 524

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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By vanorav - 18/03/2012 02:41 - United States - Santa Clarita

Today, I walked into the kitchen to eat some breakfast. I got a full visual of my drunk neighbor dancing naked in my backyard. FML

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Today, I went back home. My drunk mother was screaming at my drunk step-dad about a fight that happened four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "orgasm face", while the neighbors were dancing outside, coked out and naked. FML

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By meeeoow - 22/01/2011 10:05 - Australia

Today, my drunken father decided to walk my quiet street naked. FML

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By Anonymous - 26/11/2013 16:43 - United States - Erie

Today, I had a family get-together for my birthday. I got to watch all my family members get piss-drunk and argue over who's having the worst time. FML

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By batsu - 27/01/2012 06:48 - Canada

Today, I made a drunken bet with friends that I could pour lighter fluid on my hands, light it, and shake it out before I got burned. I lost. FML

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By always-the-responsible-one - 03/01/2010 08:42 - Canada

Today, I just spent half an hour cleaning up my little brother's puke after he got drunk for the first time. All the people who bought him drinks are still out partying and having a good time, while all I can smell is whiskey, Chinese food, and whatever else was in his stomach. FML

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TOP COMMENTS

elinhjortskull 7

Sunday 1 January 2012 12:09

He's sexy and he knows it.

GoWithTheFro 10

Sunday 1 January 2012 12:07

Well, at least it's been a memorable year.

Comments

chuvilight 0

Sunday 1 January 2012 12:36

Why were you even staring? Is he hot or something?

ljcarranza 16

Sunday 1 January 2012 12:40

eww rubbing in where?? lol but Jo really you should have looked away after 2 seconds...you may have a problem

afulks78 11

Sunday 1 January 2012 12:45

Sexy !

damonlover_nikki 0

Sunday 1 January 2012 12:47

Ummmm wtf

Dannyfacee 6

Sunday 1 January 2012 12:49

At least he was having fun.

meeeaner_th 16

Sunday 1 January 2012 12:54

How come you didnt just go to a different room? :L

Xquisite1 28

Sunday 1 January 2012 12:56

It puts the oil on its skin......

underguarded 20

Sunday 1 January 2012 13:02

That's how you get some extra virgins in your life.

brick_man33 14

Sunday 1 January 2012 13:03

Was he too sexy for his shirt?

elenarox 1

Sunday 1 January 2012 13:08

ahahah 37, u made my day/year :D

THE_A_TEEN 27

Sunday 1 January 2012 13:15

Unless you live close to the international date line, it's going to be a boring year for you. Have a nice 2012...

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Today, my mom threatened to kick me out for asking if I could skip church for the next few weeks, because, you know, I have Covid and have been told to isolate for ten days, which obviously includes two Sundays. The woman would rather I infect her congregation than let me stay in bed while sick. FML

agreeclassic 1 601

vote type 1 147

Today, thinking I could carry it all, I stubbornly brought a load of food in with both hands. The glass jar of nacho cheese smashed on my radiator, and I had to use a toothbrush to clean between the cracks. FML

agreeclassic 338

vote type 1 889

Today, my sister tried to convince me to go to a plastic surgeon, because "Bitchface Syndrome's no joke." FML

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vote type 1 3 942

Today, a coworker grabbed my ass for the third time. I went to my boss to complain about the sexual harassment. He told me to suck it up and enjoy the attention, and that it was my fault for having a huge, round ass. I think it's time for a new job. FML

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Today, my parents couldn’t keep it civil long enough to get through my wedding without causing a massive scene. My wife was so upset, she got through the “I do’s” then left crying without waiting for the photos, so now we don’t have an official wedding album, just poor quality Facebook pictures. FML

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Today, after expressing some of my reservations about the amount of work I have to do to accomplish my thesis on time, my graduate advisor compared my search for knowledge to Tom Hanks's odyssey in the movie "Castaway". FML

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