Today, my mother decided to "help me" by throwing out the stack of papers on my desk. Unfortunately, those were all my notes for my final exams. FML 9 850 608
Today, our old internet provider withdrew over $1,000 from our account for equipment they acknowledged receiving weeks ago, using preauthorized debit they claimed to have cancelled. Reimbursement will take 4 to 8 weeks. Our first mortgage payment is due just hours before my next pay cheque. FML 6 698 412
Today, I learned that you truly can get cramp in any muscle of your body, including that one specific ring of muscle in the back. Yes, I got a full on cramp in my asshole and yes, it is even more painful than you can possibly imagine. FML 451 110
Today, my landlord came to my apartment because of complaints from my neighbors, saying that animals are not allowed inside. Turns out my roommate makes cat-noises when she's bored. My landlord still doesn't believe me. FML 31 226 2 361
Today, my husband told me that he never washes his hands after using the bathroom because he thinks it's only for "paranoid people". FML 32 443 3 728
Today, my professor, who was born without arms, asked somebody "need a hand?" There are over 300 students in that class and I was the only one laughing. FML 20 120 58 888
A bit late for an April Fools prank.