Animals: Today, I was designing a newspaper page with a story about an... - FML

By xacked - 02/06/2009 06:39 - United States

Today, I was designing a newspaper page with a story about an aggressive female bird that was defending its nest and attacking students near some stairs. In the article were photos of victims who were attacked. We had a good laugh over it. Later, I was walking there and the bird attacked me. FML

agreeclassic 12 438

vote type 1 61 690

Back to school
Is that it, have we really enjoyed the holidays? It's time to find the best back-to-school struggles. More…

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By Anonymous - 30/04/2015 02:08 - United States - Gardnerville

Today, I found the eggshells from the nest belonging to the little bird that lives outside my house. They were covered in blood and it was quite obvious that they had been eaten. While I was looking at them, the mother bird came over and attacked me. FML

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Today, I decided to confront my fear of birds when my friend's pet bird was walking up to me. He got on my arm, climbed up, and attacked my face. FML

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By Anonymous - 08/02/2012 17:45

Today, I was attacked by a bird at three in the morning. The bird was being attacked by an owl, and it decided the safest place to land wasn't in a tree, but my face. No one will believe me, despite the 12 stitches across my face. FML

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By Locked Out - 14/05/2013 19:11 - United States

Today, after coming home from school, I found that two birds had made a nest above the porch light. This wouldn't be a problem if they stopped attacking me every time I get within 5 feet of them. FML

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By NightHawk4926 - 09/09/2015 22:15 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man. I gave him my sandwich, since he needed it more than me. Seconds later, he was attacked by a flock of birds. FML

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By Pierce - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was with my 14 year-old son when we saw a baby sparrow being attacked by four or five blackbirds. We rushed up, waving our arms and scared away the much bigger attackers. The baby sparrow ran toward us for protection, then went past both of us, and ran straight down a storm sewer. FML

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By How? - 29/09/2018 10:30 - United States - Glasford

Today, a bird crashed into my face. I didn't think that actually happened to people outside of cartoons. FML

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By gbabyy - 22/11/2009 03:25 - United States

Today, my daughter was playing outside. I was watching her from the window, and I saw her pick up a dead bird. I ran outside to grab her. As I picked her up and started scolding her, she tried to scratch my face. In the attempt, her hand went straight into my mouth. FML

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By birdbath - 08/11/2009 07:26 - United States

Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML

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By tulisa - 21/02/2015 04:25 - United States - Alexandria

Today, I witnessed the beautiful sight of a tiny baby bird struggling to take flight from its nest. "You can do it," I muttered, which I guess my asswipe of a cat heard as "Quick, go kill that bird and scar me for life, please." FML

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Next

TOP COMMENTS

randomdude1234 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 16:07

karma's a bitch

Ahay 3

Tuesday 2 June 2009 16:18

this quite possibly could be the dumbest FML i've read in a while.

Comments

dumpless 13

Thursday 2 January 2014 20:03

Karma's a bitch

Llamalamp26 11

Thursday 2 January 2014 23:11

My penis is hard

DaRito 25

Friday 26 June 2015 17:18

"The Birds" by Alfred Hitchcock, anyone?

Mcstud1y 30

Tuesday 4 August 2015 13:52

They should have put you in the newspaper

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, after weeks of flirting with the hot guy at the gym, he finally asked me to meet up with him outside. I was diagnosed with strep throat just hours before our date. FML

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Today, I was catfished through Facebook dating, even after making her do a photo verification. Apparently anyone can take a selfie holding up three fingers if they have a good enough AI generator. I'm terrified for the future. FML

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Today, for the first time in months, I got a call from a beautiful girl asking me what I was doing tonight. Then my battery died. FML

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Today, I asked my girlfriend what her favorite quality about me was. Her answer, "Your car." FML

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Today, I received a 4-page text message from my mom explaining what she was going to do to me tonight, in full detail. I'm one name below her boyfriend on her contact list. FML

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Today, I was rushed to the ER due to a very swollen foot and high fever. The doctors said I just have a tissue infection but my parents believe I have a flesh eating disease. I can hear them discussing my future with an amputated leg. FML

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