Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Eyebleach

Eyebleach

By Nomoretexting - 01/11/2009 04:35 - United States

Today, I received a 4-page text message from my mom explaining what she was going to do to me tonight, in full detail. I'm one name below her boyfriend on her contact list. FML

agreeclassic 33 513

vote type 1 2 602

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Today, I found out that the messages about the issues in my sex life that I'd been sending to my best friend had been sent to my mother via iMessage. She's coming over for dinner tomorrow. FML

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Girl power!

By Anonymous - 22/03/2025 22:00 - Canada

Today, I was trying to break up with my boyfriend over text. I was being really careful to phrase it nicely, and I hit send with a sigh of relief. Except I sent the text to my mom, who now keeps sending me unsolicited advice about my "love life" with an occasional "You go, girl!" FML

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By isystuff - 01/02/2011 05:24 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me and left me crying in the street. I then got a text from my mom saying how pathetic my love life was. Apparently, it was a mass text message and she accidentally added me to the list. FML

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By wildthing - 01/07/2009 19:33 - United States

Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation today." Our awkward talk consisted of her telling me that I'm a tease and am going to get raped. Why? She caught me making out with my boyfriend. FML

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HOW COULD YOU?

By mylifesuckssss - 09/10/2010 04:39 - United States

Today, I received a 7-page text message during school from my mom yelling at me because I ate her cereal. FML

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Easy mistake to make

By Becca Velveeta - 26/10/2019 14:00

Today, my mother's boyfriend sent me pictures of my mom sucking him off. FML

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By Anonymous - 19/07/2015 04:36 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML

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By lisahb - 19/06/2012 22:16 - United States - Detroit

Today, my mom took me to dinner. She told me about an argument that she and her boyfriend had, and she showed me the texts. While reading, I learned that she smells his dick before sucking it. FML

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Sexy talk

By ... - 18/02/2018 01:30

Today, I realized all of my boyfriend's and my dirty messages were being sent to my mom because I'd logged into messenger on her phone once without logging out. She sat me down and said, "I know your mouth's been on his wee wee." FML

agreeclassic 3 411

vote type 1 5 657

andrewms 0

Sunday 1 November 2009 12:12

you know you liked it

picturetaker 0

Sunday 1 November 2009 12:23

hahahaha FYL. I always double check who I'm sending my dirty texts too. that would have been a bit awkward.

Comments

andrewms 0

Sunday 1 November 2009 12:12

you know you liked it

Austinsnyder601 1

Monday 2 November 2009 9:27

YDI for having your mom on your cell phone Also just do "Nah I'ma just stick it in"

holeinchest 0

Monday 21 June 2010 4:53

I LIKE POTATOES!!!

ifmlftw 0

Sunday 20 March 2011 5:29

u should have said "that sounds good. time and place." lmao

chocolatewhite 0

Sunday 5 June 2011 6:34

cool story bro

picturetaker 0

Sunday 1 November 2009 12:23

hahahaha FYL. I always double check who I'm sending my dirty texts too. that would have been a bit awkward.

PainInTheAsss 16

Saturday 2 July 2016 14:10

A bit?

XtommyschickX 0

Sunday 1 November 2009 12:29

haha wow imagine how embaressed she'll be

DynamicDave 11

Sunday 1 November 2009 12:34

MILF!

perdix 29

Sunday 1 November 2009 13:17

Tell her you're going to do the same stuff to Dad.

unomo 0

Saturday 17 July 2010 22:44

lol!!!

goldenone 2

Thursday 29 July 2010 9:28

ha. I love you perdix

Sindy_fml 4

Sunday 1 November 2009 13:24

LOL awkwardness!!! fyl ><

teriwhale 4

Sunday 1 November 2009 13:34

: ( that's so awkward

perdix 29

Sunday 1 November 2009 13:35

She's going to know what you are doing just under her boyfriend. Contact list, my ass!

carolina776 1

Sunday 1 November 2009 14:40

oh. yum.

Wlollpop 0

Sunday 1 November 2009 15:22

fail

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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