Money Today, I bought a new, expensive face moisturizer. However, it...

Anonymous - 03/09/2010 06:18 - United States

Today, I bought a new, expensive face moisturizer. However, it smells like poop. I paid $20 dollars to make my face smell like shit. FML

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St. Patrick's Day: Shamrocks and Tribulations
Green anecdotes of jealousy, full of shamrocks and pints, for a memorable St. Patrick's Day! …

backtothelaundrettethen - 03/12/2012 11:40 - Germany

Today, I bought some expensive fabric softener since I'm not too keen on my detergent's smell. Only after washing two weeks worth of laundry did I discover that mixed together they realistically mimic the smell of fresh puke. FML

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Junk in the trunk

NotSoClean - 21/07/2009 18:53 - United States

Today, I noticed that my very expensive facial cleanser was almost out. I had moved in with my boyfriend recently, and questioned him, telling him "You don't have to use so much to wash your face. That's a $70 bottle." To which he responded, "Oh, that nice-smelling stuff? Yeah, I use that on my junk." FML

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baconlady - 31/08/2012 07:06 - United States

Today, I bought some perfume that I thought smelled absolutely amazing. Later, my boyfriend walked in, sniffed, and said, "What smells like bacon?" The bottle cost $83. They won't take a refund. FML

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anon - 10/06/2012 21:14 - United Kingdom - Romsey

Today, I discovered that my expensive new shampoo smells exactly like my ex-girlfriend. So now, whenever I shower, I'm showered with depression. FML

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Shared towel

shitface - 06/01/2020 14:00 - United States - Arlington

Today, after I took a shower, I was wiping my face with the towel I share with my sister. It smelled peculiar, so I took my face away and looked at it. Turns out, I was wiping my face on a huge shit stain. FML

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Complexion

balloonface - 18/02/2016 07:48 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I finally treated myself and bought my first moisturizer. The woman at Sephora promised it would "retexturize my face." If by "retexturize" she meant, "make it feel like a rubber balloon," then she was right on the money. FML

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Extreme reaction

KCS - 04/03/2023 18:00 - Australia

Today, I discovered I'm allergic to the new perfume I bought and now I smell like a hospital. FML

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RockedSystem - 22/04/2009 05:39 - United States

Today, I had to give a massage to an obese person with rank smelling fungus growing in between their skin folds. They tipped me two dollars. My hands still smell. FML

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The smell detective is on the case

Anonymous - 28/01/2021 14:01 - Germany

Today, something smelled absolutely disgusting in the bathroom. Like cow shit and stinky beetles. I started sniffing around, because whatever it was, I had to find it and clean it up. That, however, proved difficult, because it turned out that smell was coming from the new soap my mom had bought. FML

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Absolute beginner

Anonymous - 08/01/2025 22:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, I discovered that my "life-changing" skincare routine wasn’t working because I’d been using conditioner instead of moisturizer for two weeks. My skin is greasy, and I smell like coconuts. FML

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wavesofblue 1

Friday 3 September 2010 16:30

$20 isn't expensive...

Rico255 0

Friday 3 September 2010 16:30

mabey shit is good for the skin also??? worked great on my lawn

Tasanasanta 0

Friday 3 September 2010 16:41

Smell it before you buy it... YDI

jmac317 0

Friday 3 September 2010 16:42

welll ur gay

nikkidancer321 0

Friday 3 September 2010 16:43

oh noooooooooooo! $20. :O YDI

w2z1 0

Friday 3 September 2010 16:43

Better than real shit.

StitchedBear 0

Friday 3 September 2010 16:44

no, $20 is not expensive but it still sucks. it's disappointing, really. mm, how do you guys get your picture on heree??

Mauskau 35

Friday 3 September 2010 16:46

owned

StitchedBear 0

Friday 3 September 2010 16:46

what the hell is "anti-flood protection"?

sexy_chick_123 0

Friday 3 September 2010 17:21

It stops you from posting too many things in a row. Basically it stops spam.

kieran247 0

Friday 3 September 2010 16:47

could have been allergic to it and died :D be happy!

me_is_lala 2

Friday 3 September 2010 16:49

next time smell it?

awks 0

Friday 3 September 2010 16:49

ewww that's so nasty, you should do things the natural way, instead of putting chemicals on your face!

shepaintsmusic 6

Friday 3 September 2010 17:26

It might be natural smelling like that.

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Today, after I'd left my former job because of burnout for another job, where they'd said handling call time wasn't important, my new employer demands to fill in every day during the week how much time I spent on each task and calls, bathroom or coffee breaks, as "waste-time", and we need to fill in how much time we "wasted" pissing or shitting. FML

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Today, it was the premiere of a huge play I've worked on for months. The latest week we've practised a lot, resulting in little sleep. In one of the scenes I'm just lying there pretending to be asleep. Guess who actually fell asleep? FML

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