Your everyday life stories

LongLiveHeda - 04/04/2016 18:30

Today, I found the book I've been working on for over a decade, covered in dog vomit. FML

Lil_Bit26 - 04/04/2016 18:13 - United States - Houston

Today, my parents found out I'm sexually active. We were all sitting at the dinner table when, from the other room, our family parrot started moaning and screaming my boyfriend's name. FML

somegirl1234 - 04/04/2016 18:05 - South Africa - Pretoria

Today, the guy I have been seeing is going back to his ex. He has been trying to get her back for 11 months and she declined, until she found out we are together, now she "loves him" and "cannot live without him". All of this after he assured me he was over her. FML

Anonymous - 04/04/2016 17:57

Today, I googled "1989" to research historic events that took place that year. The first search result was a Taylor Swift album. FML

FilleNoir - 04/04/2016 17:51 - United States

Today, my anti-socialness has gotten to the point where my mom pays me to hang out with my friends. FML

Anonymous - 04/04/2016 17:42 - United States - Roxboro

Today, I went to the doctor because of a stomach flu. I stressed to them multiple times that I'm highly allergic to Codeine. They ended up giving me Codeine filled medicine anyways. I've been vomiting for 13 hours. FML

SocietyAtItsBest - 04/04/2016 17:41 - United States - Houston

Today in my 6th hour class, my classmate thought it would be funny to turn off the lights since the teacher wasn't in the room. Being a pretty dark skinned girl, two students got out flashlights and tried to "find me". All while my boyfriend was in the room probably laughing. FML

MissLG - 04/04/2016 17:38 - Canada - Grande Prairie

Today, is my first day back to work and my boss is already harassing me to smile and be cheerful. When I told him that I was tired, he replied with "How?! You've had an entire week off!" I just got back to work after major surgery, FML.

kdh - 04/04/2016 17:24 - United States

Today, I realized my husband will go to any length to talk to other women and hide it from me. Including on this app. We're expecting a baby in 8 weeks. FML

sammysucks - 04/04/2016 17:20 - United States - Redding

Today, I went on a great date with this guy I was seeing for a while now. After I fell asleep in his bed I woke up to him leaving and I asked what he was doing. He said I snore too loud and is sleeping on the couch. He hasnt returned my messages since and its been 5 days.

bornagainvcard - 04/04/2016 17:06 - Canada - Surrey

Today, the most action I've seen in over a year and a half is my dog licking my face when she's happy to see me. I could probably deal with that a little better if I wasn't married.

SoTired - 04/04/2016 16:51 - United States - Clemson

Today, I was woken up at 6:30 in the morning by my asshole of a roommate watching Netflix. On my TV. This has been happening for the past 2 weeks no matter how much I tell him to stop. FML

fuckyouguys - 04/04/2016 16:38 - United States - Denton

Today, we had the reading of my grandmother's will. She split her estate 3 ways between the families of her 3 children. The problem is that includes her home and the 100 acres it is on, which can't be divided into 3. It's been 15 minutes and there have been multiple brawls. FML

best friends... NOT - 04/04/2016 16:34 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I got sued for breaking my friends car. That would be fine if the car was his, but actually it was mine, he was just borrowing it. I got sued for breaking my own car. FML

student - 04/04/2016 16:29 - United States - Omaha

Today, I was given detention for having explicit words written on my notebook. I was holding my friends stuff while she went to the bathroom. FML

ChiefKoala - 04/04/2016 16:08 - United States - Rockwood

Today, my dad started yelling me, called me a faggot, and said i was going to hell because i was looking a book that had pictures of breasts. It was my lifetime wellness book, and i was taking an online exam on chronic diseases. FML.

numbat97 - 04/04/2016 16:07 - Australia - Canning Vale

Today, working in the servicing area at a car dealership, an old Italian homeless guy dropped off his car that he lives in. When I drove it round back, instead of grabbing the hand break I mistakenly grabbed the biggest dildo I've ever seen. I jumped out screaming as the car was still rolling. FML

4lphab3t4 - 04/04/2016 16:02 - United Kingdom - Ruislip

Today, my dad was annoyed at me for doing badly in a video game. If that wasn't stupid enough, it was a scripted event in the game's story. He won't accept this, and is withholding dinner because of my "failure". FML

Sooji99 - 04/04/2016 16:01 - United States - Columbus

Today, my girlfriend was waiting for me when I came home from work. She looked pissed, so I asked what was wrong. Apparently, there is no way that I wear fruit of the loom underwear, so I am automatically cheating on her. FML

Workaholic - 04/04/2016 15:58 - United Kingdom

Today, I decided I needed some time off so rang in work sick. I was surprised to find out that my boss likes the chicken they sell in the restaurant we where in too, when he walked in and started using the urinal next to me. FML

ccc - 04/04/2016 15:53 - Australia - Perth

Today, I had really bad gas. My friend came over and as he was leaving, I needed to let out a huge fart. I thought I was safe until I was halfway to the bathroom when I accidentally let rip. It echoed. FML

Sigma777 - 04/04/2016 15:51 - United States - Powder Springs

Today, my sister spent over $100 of our dad's money on groceries for herself. She was only suppose to run in for a case of soda for cooking. Somehow, I feel that I'm going to get blamed for giving her the card. FML

uhmhaicats - 04/04/2016 15:41 - United States

Today, I went through my boyfriend's Web browser history on his phone while he was sleeping. All I found was a bunch of different times he looked up my best friend's nude modeling page. FML

Unfertile-mertel - 04/04/2016 15:34 - United States - Monroe

Today, after 3 years of trying to conceive with my husband and being unsuccessful, a friend has gotten pregnant on her first try with a guy she's been with for a month. FML

silverpyramid - 04/04/2016 14:56 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, for the 3rd straight month a creepy kid at my school spent an hour holding me back and telling me he bought me on ebay. FML.

TiredAndFrustrated - 04/04/2016 14:47 - United States - College Station

Today, after leaving class early because I was to tired to focus, I come back to my room to find the lights on and my roommate talking loudly on the phone in Spanish. This is the same roommate who stays up till 3 while I have 8 AMs and never leaves the room. She should have been in class. FML

Disney Freak - 04/04/2016 14:18 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, my bf arrived at Disneyworld (the place of my dreams) for Spring Break. What's my Spring Break like? Working full time while being on my period. FML.

Anonymous - 04/04/2016 14:07 - United States - Boston

Today, my mom decided to make me my favorite cake. This would be great if I wasn't told I had celiac disease a few days ago. FML.

Anonymous - 04/04/2016 13:42 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my mother in law asked my husband if I was pregnant because I "looked about 6 months pregnant." I'm 5'10" and 160lbs. She's just barely 5'5" and at least 400lbs. FML.

Anonymous - 04/04/2016 13:33

Today I got my laptop back from the repair shop which was sent to get a key replaced, I was told it would take minimum 4 days and maximum 2 weeks. 4 weeks later I get it back and the battery doesn't work, FML.

Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I got high for the first time. Apparently I called my vet and told him my goldfish was barking. I found out when he called me back later to make sure we were both okay. FML

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Today, my husband decided that the best way to deal with me eating the last chocolate chip muffin was to give me the silent treatment. Normally, I'd just get over his childish behavior, but we're on a fifteen hour car trip back home with our one year-old. FML

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Today, my friend and I were getting picked up by his dad after a carnival. As I put my stuff in the back of the car and shut the door to walk around to get in the other side, his dad drove off, thinking I was in the car, leaving me to walk up their hill. It was midnight and I ended up lost. FML

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Today, I found a wallet containing an ID card. I managed to track down the owner, who now is threatening to call the police if I don't return the 400 dollars that he insists were also in it. FML

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Today, I felt confident after a maths exam and thought I did rather well. When discussing the exam with my class mates afterwards, they kept talking about how difficult question 10 was. I only did 9 questions. Apparently the exam paper had a backside. FML

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Today, my boyfriend of four years decided that the best way to break up with me was to move out of our apartment while I was at work, and then text me a video of himself having sex with another girl. FML

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