Healthy Lifestyle

I did warn you…

By sadmd - 29/04/2026 00:00 - Belgium - Antwerp

Today, my elderly patient accused me of not taking good care of her, because, during my time off, she was taken to the hospital for anemia. I tested her for anemia months ago and discussed it with her, and she'd told me that she didn't want to go to the hospital. Guess who everyone believes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 73

Whackos

By Anonymous - 24/12/2021 20:01

Today, after undergoing a rigorous diet and exercise program, I was proud of losing 65 lbs in 3 months. When my favorite client saw me gleaming from my results, she loudly exclaimed that, “all life is sacred.” She assumed I'd had an abortion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 306

You deserved it 143

Namaste

By Anonymous - 10/06/2024 09:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I tried a new workout at my local gym. I thought I'd attempt some yoga poses I'd seen online. Mid-pose, I lost my balance and knocked over a row of weights, causing a loud crash and drawing everyone's attention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 262

You deserved it 352

Proof

By 30goingon13 - 23/10/2021 23:00

Today, my acne was so bad I got carded for a pack of lighters. I'm 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 847

You deserved it 117

We're in Hell

By Anonymous - 09/08/2021 20:01

Today, it's Monday. I'm living in hangover hell. Work is hell. Moving my head is hell. Did I party all weekend? Yes. Except that it was just me and my cat. Nothing was consumed other than several bottles of wine and tubs of Ben & Jerry's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 1 305

Equilibrium

By Anonymous - 29/01/2022 11:01

Today, my top priorities for being able to function in life are being healthy and slim, and getting enough sleep. Unfortunately, my only remaining pleasures in life are eating chocolate and reading long novels in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 719

You deserved it 264

BO Central

By jess - 16/12/2020 14:02 - United States - Denver

Today, I was loudly asked if I'd rubbed poop all over myself this morning. I shower three times a day, brush my teeth for 10 minutes twice a day, and wear copious amounts of antiperspirant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 698

You deserved it 1 730

It's the new thing!

By Squeakyclean - 23/08/2021 08:01

Today, my 14 year-old daughter threw a massive fit over showering. She dislodged the shower curtain rod and threatened to beat us with it if we ever force her to shower again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 007

You deserved it 205

Hot hot hot

By Anonymous - 28/05/2026 09:00 - United States - Center Line

Today, I walked to the grocery store despite being out of shape since it was typically only a 30 minute walk and gas prices are bad. The hourly temperature on my weather app was wrong as usual so by the time I got to the store, I was sweating buckets. By the time I got back home, I was so overheated I nearly threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 146

On the move

By Nathalieeeee - 23/07/2025 15:00 - Canada

Today, my smartwatch notified me mid-meeting, saying “You’ve been inactive for an hour, get moving!” I stood up instinctively to “stretch,” only to trip over my chair and send my water bottle flying across the boardroom table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 138

You deserved it 441

Fitness check

By Christine - 11/08/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I went to my first spin class. Trying my best, I hopped on the bike and started pedaling like I’d been doing it for years. The instructor came over, adjusted the seat, and as soon as she let go, I completely lost my balance and tipped over. The bike fell sideways, taking me and two water bottles with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 135

Generational trauma

By Laren - 24/09/2021 23:00

Today, I discovered my 17 year-old daughter has an eating disorder. When I confronted her, she confessed that she’s doing it because she wants to stay thin, so that her boyfriend doesn’t dump her like her father dumped me for not being thin enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 274

You deserved it 157

Unhealthy

By Homeless - 14/06/2021 11:01

Today, my now ex-boyfriend was kind enough to let me live on the couch because I have nowhere to go. I have to see the homewrecker he cheated on me with everyday, and hear them have blood curdling sex every night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 427

You deserved it 428

Fitness

By Bece420 - 11/02/2019 18:00 - United States - Zanesville

Today, I decided to try a 7-minute exercise video to start working out and get in shape. I couldn’t make it though the video. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 894

You deserved it 488

Not this again

By Anonymous - 20/07/2024 09:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I woke up with my back super sore. I couldn’t get out of my bed without crying and great difficulty. The last time my chronic pain was like this it went on for three months and I could barely move. It was absolutely awful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 74

Membershipmaxxing

By Gym girl - 01/06/2026 20:00 - Netherlands

Today, my ex and I both go to the same gym because we're too stubborn to change our membership. He's not being a creeper, but he's dropped over fifty pounds and all the girls there keep talking about how hot he's gotten. It's really awkward when we're in a class together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 289

Lost

By Anonymous - 06/06/2025 20:00 - Canada

Today, I walked into the gym in my new workout outfit and headed straight for the weight machines. After 10 minutes, a staff member tapped me on the shoulder and said, “Sir, this is a physical therapy clinic.” The gym was next door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 162

You deserved it 466

8 out of 10 orthopedists

By Anonymous - 15/05/2021 14:01 - Germany

Today, I had a talk with my orthopedist about getting back to fitness training. However, according to her, all my favorite exercises, although taught to me by professionals, are "things one should never do" and "very very bad". FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 144

Not the sharpest tool

By full'a'shit - 06/06/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, after days of constipation, I gave myself an enema to clear out the obstruction. My girlfriend has decided that I'm secretly gay and will not change her mind. She's already told her friends, who now want to take me shoe shopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 104

The wrong end of the stick

By poodlesoup - 22/12/2020 04:58 - United States

Today, I actually feel good about my decisions and my life. I've even started running to improve my health, and recover from self harming. My girlfriend is convinced I'm running to hurt myself, and won't let me near any health food or the treadmill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 989

You deserved it 120

Radio silence

By OnTheReceivingEnd - 08/07/2024 06:00 - United States - Gilbert

Today, my family wonders why I don't call them more often. Probably because every single facet of my life is a disaster; medically, professionally, mentally and emotionally. Who wants to listen to a radio station that has nothing but bad news playing on it? Also, no habits that will get me an early grave. Lucky me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 138

Cheer up sleepy dreams

By dead - 31/03/2021 23:00

Today, it’s been 6 months at my job and I still can’t get used to the morning shift. Even with a changed diet, exercise, meditation, and no caffeine after noon, I'm averaging about 2 hours of sleep a night. My body will always choose sleep deprivation over falling asleep at a reasonable time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 026

You deserved it 153

Help wanted

By Anonymous - 16/05/2024 22:00 - United States - Ontario

Today, I'm 37 years-old. I work full time and make 20 dollars an hour. I live with my parents. I still cannot afford to move out and I'm completely broke. I keep overspending because I get anxious because I feel like a failure. I'm addicted to sugar and eat a pint of ice cream a day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 634

Core strength

By Susan01 - 11/01/2025 12:00 - United States - Carson City

Today, I gave yoga a try for what seemed like the tenth time. I underestimated how it's actually harder than it looks, and my gross unexpected sweat made my mat uber-slippery, and I ended up sliding into the person next to me. We both toppled over like human dominoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 159

Glass half empty

By siamne - 28/03/2021 23:00

Today, after six months of eating a better diet and exercising every other day, I can now say that I am physically healthier, but the lifestyle changes have done absolutely nothing to help my depression. That was the whole reason I started doing this in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003

You deserved it 131

Influencer brain

By Anonymous - 21/02/2024 22:00 - United States - Bisbee

Today, I decided to be adventurous and try a new exotic fruit. I bought a dragon fruit, but no one warned me that it looks better on Instagram than it tastes. Now I have a fridge full of disappointment and a dragon fruit that's more like a dragon letdown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 149

You deserved it 682

Second opinion, please

By fishyrael - 26/08/2021 04:01 - United States - East Lansing

Today, I went to a new doctor for an injury. Instead, the doctor only focused on my weight and tried to basically prescribe me anorexia. She tried to tell me that 750 calories a day was fine and brushed off my exercise regimen as, "Exercise is great, but you'll lose weight faster if there are no calories to burn." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 261

You deserved it 191

Never again

By fat inspiration - 24/02/2022 22:00 - United States

Today, I found out that when my ex needs motivation to go to the gym, she posts a picture of herself in a pair of huge pants with the caption, “NEVER AGAIN!” Problem? They’re my pants, that I'd left at her place after we broke up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 886

You deserved it 221

Life hacks

By just walk away - 07/04/2022 10:00 - United States

Today, I wanted to believe that people couldn't possibly be this stupid, but prior to surgery my brother's wife was put on an all-liquid diet. The idiot didn’t realize that putting cake and ice cream in a blender didn’t make it a fucking clear liquid. She argued, “I’m not eating it, I’m drinking it!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 033

You deserved it 119

Today, on Intervention…

By Anonymous - 05/12/2015 06:49 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I staged an intervention for my dad, because his midlife crisis has spun out of control. When I told him he's now basically endangering his own life, he replied "Everyone's gonna die someday. Some sooner than others, eh porky?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 910

You deserved it 2 313

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The Top

Today, I was helping my church clean up a park. I was given a sledgehammer and told to break up a concrete picnic table so we could haul it off. About halfway through, I swung the sledgehammer REALLY hard, completely missed the table, and hit myself in the shin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 836

You deserved it 23 364

Today, I discovered that the father of my son cheated on me, but with fake sex bots that pretend to be real people. I don’t know whether I’m more disappointed in him cheating, or the fact that he couldn’t even get it right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 066

You deserved it 220

Today, despite me not liking cats, which my wife knew, she got a cat anyway. Her cat went for a walk outside and was hit by a car. I rushed outside to help the cat but found she was already dead, and the culprit had driven away. When my wife found out that her cat was dead, she thought I'd killed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 238

You deserved it 158

Today, I got in trouble for following the rules at work. This is the third workplace where this has happened. Each time, when I provided the written document that showed the rules that I followed, I was told, "Well…" Don't make it a "rule" if it's really going to be a guideline with 50+ possible exceptions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 147

Today, I found out about allergies suddenly getting worse out of nowhere when it happened to mine. I can hardly step outside without feeling like hell when I get back home, which was never the case before, and I'm going through allergy medicine like a drug addict (almost). FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 67

Today, even if I clean the whole house, my husband refuses to wash dishes if I cook, as I “use too many”, because when he cooks he only uses one pot. His “cooking” is dumping all the week's leftovers into a pot and calling it “stir fry.” It’s disgusting and he’s the only one that eats it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 476

You deserved it 99