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Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


    Please read our guidelines for posting

    Healthy Lifestyle

    Don't mind me

    By everyonewasstaring - 22/12/2009 23:32 - United Kingdom

    Today, I was shopping in a packed store when I started to feel faint. Since I was quite far along in the queue, I tried to hold out until I reached the front of the queue. Good news: I succeeded. Bad news: I then fainted at the counter, hit my nose, and shit myself. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 33 619
    You deserved it 4 364
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    Irony at a base level

    By SterlingEnigma - 25/09/2009 08:43 - United States

    Today, I decided to start making healthier decisions. Instead of the usual cheeseburger I have for lunch I ate an apple instead. I took one bite and broke one of my teeth. Apparently, apples keep the doctor away, but not dentists. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 37 368
    You deserved it 7 392
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    Sexy time

    By Anonymous - 30/07/2009 09:23 - United States

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, I tried to be sexy and put a condom on with my mouth. Instead, I inhaled it and my boyfriend broke three of my ribs giving me the Heimlich maneuver. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 25 521
    You deserved it 59 477
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    Keywords

    Annoying Hospital Work Management Language Relatable DIY Miscellaneous Mysterious Awkward Cars Embarrassing Cooking Coworkers Love Anniversary Divorce Transportation Surgery Health Growing old Healthy Lifestyle Money Technology Ironic Relationships Horses Animals Jealousy Birds
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, I drove to my college campus for my 8 a.m. class, parked, walked the mile and a half to my classroom, just to find out class had been cancelled. The prof didn't send an email because she couldn't remember her password. I paid $1200 to be taught by this woman, who has a doctorate. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 25 835
    You deserved it 2 264
    Today, our mouse problem finally started to go away. Now we have a snake problem. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 25 645
    You deserved it 2 138
    Today, my boyfriend got a new tattoo. It was a big tattoo of Pikachu on his hip. I told him now I'd feel like I was having sex with an 8-year-old boy. His defense? "No, no, think of it as having sex with Pikachu!" He still refuses to understand why that's weird. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 30 636
    You deserved it 5 944
    Today, I got up the courage to go to a nice place for lunch alone. I wasn't expecting the Tilapia I ordered to be the whole fish, so I asked the waiter for a box because, "I forgot about an appointment in 20 minutes," just so he wouldn't think I was an idiot who didn't know what I was ordering. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 3 843
    You deserved it 1 027
    Today, I was having drilling work done on my teeth. My dentist slipped and drilled a hole in my cheek. I said mistakes happen, but that I didn't expect to pay for the work. They still billed me for it and sent me a prescription that I had to go and get (and pay for) in case it got infected. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 316
    You deserved it 136
    Today, before I could realise what I was doing, I replied-all to an email chain about a huge company issue, saying, "FFS, this is ridiculous and moronic, and so is upper management." I’m still employed, but everyone now avoids me like I’m radioactive. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 88
    You deserved it 648
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