The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

She's a model and she's looking good

By Anonymous - 12/12/2012 20:48 - United States - Charlotte

Today, in art class, our instructor called me up to the front to model for a drawing. I agreed to pose because it was nice to be called on, and I needed a self-esteem boost. He then thanked me, saying it's a great exercise for the class to draw such strange proportions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 219

You deserved it 2 512

Insult to injury

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years left me for a guy whose favorite color is camouflage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 260

You deserved it 5 928

By whatever - 09/08/2009 20:12 - United States

Today, I went out with my ex-boyfriend on a date. The night consisted of me sitting in the back seat of his friend's truck while they drove around to pick up things for the party they were going to have that same night. After they picked everything up, he asked where I wanted to get dropped off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 928

You deserved it 27 408

Support system

By OP. - 29/08/2021 04:01 - Australia - Collaroy

Today, my family finally noticed my depression because of how quiet, down and uninterested I’ve been. They responded by harassing me for saying nothing, calling me names, and making fun of me. Hmm, I wonder why I’m depressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 114

You deserved it 133

By Lars - 31/01/2009 17:25 - United States

Today, I fell down the stairs twice. I fell from the top, stopped in the middle, stood up, stepped down one more step, tripped, and fell down the rest of the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 983

You deserved it 5 907

What about me?

By crushed - 23/05/2020 02:00

Spicy

Today, my wife told me about an old boyfriend she had. She told me that they used to fool around, and that she’d give him blow jobs all the time. I never get any action like that from her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 811

You deserved it 277

Sex work is real work

By Anonymous - 22/11/2022 16:00 - United States - Burke

Spicy

Today, I made the coolest platonic friend who I really liked. She liked me too, until I accidentally found her setting up an OnlyFans and, in a fit of feeling very weird about it, confronted her. Now she won't talk to me at all and has blocked me on every single online platform you could imagine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 2 656

By Anonymous - 08/01/2012 06:23 - United States

Today, my fiancé called and hung up right after I answered. He called back 5 minutes later demanding to know the name of the man who answered my phone. This "man" was me. I have bronchitis. Yes, he's aware of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 659

You deserved it 2 654

By ko - 09/12/2012 00:25 - United States - Chicago

Today, I went to see a musical that some school friends had put on. At some point in the show, the main character kicked her leg up in the air, and her high heel flew off of her foot and into the audience. The shoe hit me square in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 154

You deserved it 2 177

By elfy2 - 03/03/2011 02:49

Today, while riding the bus to a really important job interview the child sitting next to me threw up in my lap. His mother then told him to wipe his mouth. He used my sleeve. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 185

You deserved it 3 434

By Anonymous - 07/12/2012 15:30 - United States

Today, I came home to find a mouse in the garage. Frantic, I killed it. My 7-year-old son came home from soccer, and started crying because he couldn't find the class pet, Mr. Whiskers. I killed my son's class pet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 720

You deserved it 18 322

By a - 06/12/2012 06:15 - United States - Clarksville

Today, as my friend was rudely rummaging through my phone, she saw a picture of the pottery I've painted her for Christmas. Not only did she see it, but she also declared it ugly. That's probably the present I'm the most proud of this Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 442

You deserved it 2 497

Hoarders Gonna Hoard

By Anonymous - 11/08/2018 18:30

Today, I was helping my uncle clean his house. He's a bit of a hoarder, so I suggested donating some of his pots. We got into a fight and I left. He then called my mom to claim that I stole his pots. After being yelled at he realized that they were in his dishwasher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 929

You deserved it 175

Family channels have issues

By Dylann - 06/09/2021 02:01

Today, I'm 16, my sister is 13 and our little brother is 9. Our parents just told us their plans to start a family vlog on YouTube, because, "It's made people rich. Don't you want to be rich?" I said I didn't want to be a part of such a humiliating enterprise, but they started filming me, as a "first family argument video." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 869

You deserved it 123

Chill out

By Bruce - 01/12/2022 18:00

Today, I had to warn my wife not to kill her insane mother. I was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 838

You deserved it 97

By thecodecat - 15/11/2013 12:13 - Canada - Musquash

Today, I decided to make what I thought was a pretzel recipe. I ended up eating cooked, egg-coated play dough. Literally, homemade Play-Doh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 797

You deserved it 10 910

thecodecat tells us more.

thecodecat 24

Saturday 16 November 2013 1:26

I didn't know it was play dough. The recipes got switched. I only ate on bite then I realized what was wrong and threw them out.

Support system error

By PissedAtLife - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was invited to a counseling group for people with emotional problems. I brought the permission slip home for my mom to sign, only for her to accuse me of being a hypochondriacal, lazy, selfish bitch. And my friends wonder why I have problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 795

You deserved it 3 330

Guilt

By Dumped - 18/02/2010 08:58 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found out that my girlfriend got drunk and cheated on me. After I tried to talk to her about it, she dumped me. Not because she didn't like me anymore or that she liked the other guy, but because she felt "too guilty" and "wouldn't be able to look me in the eyes anymore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 126

You deserved it 3 441

By lizard - 24/01/2009 19:47 - Canada

Today, my dad walked in to the arena where I was watching a hockey game with my boyfriend and his friends. My dad was wearing a crazy grey mohawk wig/hat. Meanwhile, my boyfriend just finished telling me how embarassing it would be to be that guy's kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 211

You deserved it 2 147

By kaydebug - 15/08/2018 03:30

Today, while doing self-checkout at Walmart, the cap of my laundry detergent came off as I scanned it and dumped all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 985

You deserved it 216

Us neither, dude

By Buzzing Confusion - 17/09/2021 20:00 - United States - Chicago

Spicy

Today, I found out that the mother of my children named her vibrator after me. We are together and have not had sex in over 18 months. I have no idea what to do with this information. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 386

You deserved it 231

By Karl - 21/02/2011 11:43

Today, I woke up and heard a noise coming from the kitchen. I went down stairs and saw a huge guy in there. I got a vase and hit him over the head, not realizing it was my mom's new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 775

You deserved it 5 983

Peaky Bladders

By Anonymous - 16/06/2020 17:01

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house, dying to pee during a thunderstorm. Ran to the bathroom, but it was occupied. A huge thunderclap scared me pretty bad. When the door finally opened, my girlfriend's mom walked out, laughing. I realized the thunder scared me into peeing my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 482

You deserved it 465

Best I can do is…

By Anonymous - 20/09/2021 05:00

Today, while working in my pawn shop, I was showing jewelry to a distinguished lady. I had to fart. I tried to wait. It was too much, so I let it slip silently. As she handled a $2000 necklace, I realized that the 2-foot counter between us would never save her from the foul poisonous cloud that had formed. She realized it too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 372

By JayDNut - 08/11/2013 21:17 - Pompano Beach

Today, my girlfriend "got even" with me after an argument by telling people that I've been beating her. Three guys later came over to my place and beat the crap out of me. Her reaction: "I didn't think they'd take it so serious!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 070

You deserved it 4 278

JayDNut tells us more.

JayDNut 1

Saturday 9 November 2013 12:49

OP here. The argument was over where we'd spend Christmas (her family or mine) and I was adamant we'd spend it at mine after spending the previous at hers. No bones were broken (am missing a tooth, however) although I'm a maze of bruises and swelling. We're no longer together now. Thanks for all the supporting messages!

By Anonymous - 25/11/2012 02:35 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I fell off my boyfriend's motorcycle. I had a few scrapes and bruises, and my boyfriend called for an ambulance as a precaution. The paramedics managed to drop me on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 777

You deserved it 2 197

By sore - 21/01/2009 01:08 - Australia

Today, I sliced my arm open on the weekend, patched it with a fabric bandaid. Had an allergic reaction to the bandaid, arm now swollen, blistering and keeping-me-awake itchy. Pharmacist's advice? "Oooh, that looks bad. Better put a bandaid on that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 688

You deserved it 2 499

By CheatedOn - 14/02/2010 15:19 - Romania

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I broke up. The reason? She slept with four men while I was two weeks away visiting my brother. She told me it was because she missed me so much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 784

You deserved it 2 418

By dumbo - 30/07/2009 14:43 - United States

Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. Twenty minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 893

You deserved it 18 926

By lalala - 22/12/2011 17:26 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I started undressing in front of my boyfriend. He politely said, "Excuse me, please" because I was blocking the T.V. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 084

You deserved it 8 017

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Birthday Family Miscellaneous Cute Friends Relatable My ex I need your advice Love NSFW Awkward Sex Intimacy Scary Technology Annoying Work Money Capitalism Embarrassing Divorce Education Health Sports Abuse Kids Hospital Wanker Addiction Management

The Top

The Top

Today, there was a laundry basket of my clothes sitting in my room. My dad asked me if they were clean or not. When I said I didn't know, he picked up a piece of my clothing, sniffed it, and said it smelled fine. That piece of clothing just so happened to be my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 542

You deserved it 6 188

Today, I had surgery on my arm. My mom has recently had the same surgery, and my dad is having his first rib removed and won't be able to move his arm. My family combined now has three functioning arms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 819

You deserved it 1 915

Today, I had a conversation with another patient in my gyno's waiting room. It was about her getting pregnant in a truck while passed out drunk, her therapist's frequent use of a "For Dummies" books, and how she had waxed and oiled everything to impress our doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 250

You deserved it 2 495

Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back in the house screaming "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 58

Today, I found my girlfriend in bed with her gym trainer. They said they were doing cardio. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 77

Today, I'm 36 and I got told the reason I've never been on a date is because everyone I've asked on a date is too pretty for me and that I needed to look for ugly women. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 210