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Doggy dog world

By wouaf - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - France - Voiron

Today, I was out shopping with my little sister. I wanted to try something on, so I put my bag in front of a changing room and jokingly told her to bark if someone came near. She ended up biting a lady who was trying to get into one of the changing rooms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 552

You deserved it 5 596

He's one of those people

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Canada - Sudbury

Today, my phone kept beeping, so I put it on silent and went back to sleep. When I woke up later, I found the guy I went on a date with last night had sent dozens of messages. The first was "Good morning! :)" and the last was "Answer me u fuckin cunt!!!!" I think I'm staying single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 793

You deserved it 3 259

Dangerous implements

By I-love-my-tea - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I had to show my ID to prove I was over 18. I was buying teaspoons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 197

You deserved it 2 021

No friends, no problems

By Not turnt - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - New Hyde Park

Today, I realized the only reason my mom trusts me to stay home alone for long periods of time is because I don't have enough friends to throw a party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 768

You deserved it 2 625

Pile up

By neverforgetyourphone - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Canada - Barrie

Today, I got into an accident. As I was talking to a police officer about what happened, the tow truck driver managed to take my car and drive away, leaving me with no phone or wallet. I just spent an hour walking home in a hail storm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 729

You deserved it 3 011

Dad jokes, part #23555

By Lizzie - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, my boyfriend came over for dinner for the first time. As a joke, my dad answered the door wearing the white church robes that he wears when he is lay-reading during a church service, and said, "Welcome, child of God." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 848

You deserved it 350

Netflix is a drug

By Alexandra - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Heckmondwike

Today, my fiancé completely missed the birth of our first child because he had started watching a new series on Netflix and really wanted to know how it ended. By the time he made it to the hospital our daughter was already 7 hours old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 767

You deserved it 1 154

Health and wellbeing

By fuck - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Somerville

Today, I scolded my son at a buffet after he pointed at an obese woman in a motorized wheelchair and asked how anyone could let themselves get so unhealthy. As I lectured him on genetics and thyroid problems, she rolled past with a plate stacked with an obscene amount of fried food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 283

You deserved it 6 646

Stalker vibes

By nerdychick - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I printed out a picture of the popular girl in school as a sort of 'model' for how I wanted my hair cut. The hairdresser taped the picture to the mirror so he could see. Halfway through, my 'model' came in for an appointment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 330

You deserved it 22 468

Strung out

By bdjsbskl - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was at work as a cashier. An old lady unbagged everything I had, and angrily "taught" me how to bag. She put potatoes on her eggs and broke them. She then screamed that I was useless and retarded in front of all my other customers and manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 968

You deserved it 2 400

Oh Romeo…

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my drunk boyfriend decided to try to serenade me by throwing rocks at my window and singing a song about how much he loves me. This would have been extremely sweet if he would have gotten my window instead of my dad's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 089

You deserved it 2 472

Reflex

By romea244 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was working on my new house and I was taking out a large cactus. While picking up the pieces to throw away, I noticed a spider on my forearm. Without thinking, I swiped at the spider with a piece of the cactus. I missed the spider, not my forearm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 779

You deserved it 27 302

Bulked up

By Angie - 06/01/2026 09:00

Today, my mother-in-law invited herself to my house to cook lunch. I'm postpartum, depressed, and nursing a two-week old. She fed me four small shrimp and a handful of macaroni. This is what I'll be eating for a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 74

Meltdown

By Anonymous - 10/01/2026 00:00

Today, my neighbor heard me watching a YouTube tutorial for how to do a simple fix on my car engine and he half jokingly asked why my dad didn’t teach me anything growing up. My dad was just inside the front door and heard him say it. They ended up fighting in the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 246

You deserved it 54

Infectious

By Looupyloou - 07/01/2026 12:00

Today, it's day four of liquid ass and violent hurling after I hosted a birthday party for my daughter, and one of the kids brought a stomach virus rather than a present. Yesterday my daughter started with the violent vomiting too. Everything smells like vomit in my home. Yay me! FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 68

Redecorating

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Amersham

Today, my boyfriend of 3 months moved into my apartment. I had never been to his place because his roommate was a drug addict, so it came as quite a surprise when he brought three taxidermied cats with him, insisting that I let him mount them in the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 418

You deserved it 12 623

Perfect

By AITA - 05/01/2026 20:00

Today, I opened the bathroom door without knocking and walked in on my wife’s sister (who lives with us) showering naked. Seeing her perfect, drenched body turned me on. I'm now unable to get an erection with my wife, because I can’t remember the last time her body looked like that. I feel awful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 238

Poop chute

By Anonymous - 04/01/2026 03:00

Today, after her shower, my wife bent over naked in front of me so I went to dive in face-first, and she farted in my face for laughs. The thing is I physically saw some pieces of shit fly out and land on my shoe, and this was after her shower when she should have been clean as a whistle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 229

You deserved it 115

Creep

By fu2then - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I ran into my manipulative ex-boyfriend at a party. We were chatting and I mentioned that the guys I have been seeing lately all turn out to be jerks. He said, "Yeah well, you dumped me and don't deserve to be happy." Apparently he has been creeping and scaring off any guys interested in me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 340

You deserved it 4 246

Mutilation denied

By Fuck you I'm crying I would give you so many kids - 09/01/2026 15:00

Today, the man I thought I'd marry dumped me in a parking lot, because I insisted that any boys would be circumcised so my son wouldn't be confused. He literally said, "Circumcision is a deal breaker. Get out of my car." FML

I agree, your life sucks 89

You deserved it 630

I'm confuddled

By Anonymous - 06/01/2026 03:00

Today, I once again tried to purchase a membership for a hiking adventure club. I ended up purchasing the same annual membership for the third time. They have already helped me recover my funds once. These people are never going to want to go hiking with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 399

Everyone's an expert

By Anonymous - 08/01/2026 03:00

Today, and for this past week, I've had multiple people tell me all I needed to do to cure my incredibly rare chronic illnesses was some essential oils. Putting those 'medications' aren’t going to do anything. They then proceeded to give me more advice on how to treat a kidney transplant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 53

Gullible's travels

By YouveGotFraud - 09/01/2026 22:00

Today, I was house-sitting. A lady came to the door and demanded to know whose white car was in the drive. It was mine. She said she had video proof of me hitting her mailbox. I panicked, asked how much it was. She said $200. Later I checked my car. No damage. Impossible angle. I gave $200 to a strange old lady. With no proof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 498

Resolutions come and go

By Anonymous - 06/01/2026 12:00

Today, I tried a new workout class as part of my New Year's resolution to get fit. The instructor said, “Don’t worry, we’ll start easy.” Twenty minutes in, I was flat on the floor while everyone else continued effortlessly. When the instructor asked if I was OK, I gave a thumbs-up, but I haven’t been able to sit down since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285

You deserved it 101

One hand clapping

By Anonymous - 06/01/2026 20:00

Today, I woke up earlier than most days, I spooned my wife, gently massaging her back and letting her feel I was ready for play. She finally woke up, got dressed, and didn’t give a damn. I had to work it out myself once again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 183

Tense

By Juan - 08/01/2026 15:00

Today, my wife decided to quit nicotine. I came home to find my Xbox, Playstation, Switch, and PC burning in our fire pit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 48

Imperial death march

By Fuck you dad - 05/01/2026 09:00

Today, my "president" invaded another country and stole their president to face bullshit "charges." I'm so disgusted to be from this place. I want to move somewhere else but I'm disabled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 489

You deserved it 372

Oddly specific

By annairb - 07/01/2026 03:00

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I order meat well done. He's the third guy to do this. Just the thought of eating undercooked meat makes me gag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 288

Stop pointing out my shortcomings

By Anonymous - 05/01/2026 12:00

Today, of all the things I have to be self-conscious about (my looks, my weight, my mental health…), I now have to be self-conscious of my breathing, because my brother says it’s “painful to listen to.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 103

Duped

By Anonymous - 09/01/2026 00:00

Today, I found out that the girl I’ve been trying to get at from my job, and buying her stuff for, got caught kissing another guy at my job, who hasn’t done shit for her. But yet she says she cares about me. Actions speaker louder than words. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 545

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my mother-in-law sent me a pedometer for my birthday. I've been confined to a wheelchair for most of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 040

You deserved it 2 167

Today, I was fooling around on the trampoline with this guy, when a bounce caused us to bang our heads together, knocking me out cold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 582

You deserved it 13 522

Today, my father came to my sister's place and yelled at her, "I knew it, you're such a whore!" because she slept with her new boyfriend. He's her first boyfriend in five years, since my father scared her previous boyfriend because of my father's possessive behavior. My sister is 34. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 015

You deserved it 128

Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 653

You deserved it 9 810

Today, I was WFH on a video call with my team when my toddler barged into the room. As I tried to calmly guide her out, she managed to turn my Bluetooth speaker on, which started blasting "Baby Shark" to my entire team. They now have a new nickname for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 216

Today, I woke up early, showered, dressed, and made the 40 minute drive to work, only to discover when I arrived that today was my day off. When I got home my live in boyfriend was gone. I called and he told me he was at the beach, right near my work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 151

You deserved it 9 528