Health

Abandoned

By Sickinbed - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was taking a nap in our country house. I was sick with a fever of 101.3. When I woke up, I saw that my family had left to go back to the apartment. They forgot me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 222

You deserved it 3 690

Do not attempt this at home

By Poopy - 02/06/2026 03:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I was constipated and so desperate to go that I ate an entire box of laxatives. Now I'm in the hospital on a saline drip for dehydration and malnutrition, in addition to getting a massive enema and having the most agonizing shit of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 380

Group solidarity

By Anonymous - 30/05/2026 17:00 - United States - Cicero

Today, I was in group therapy, talking about my disordered eating habits and suppressed appetite from meds, and how I've been struggling to eat. One group member, who was definitely not listening to me, suggested I try Zepbound because his mom is thinner than me and she uses it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 83

Assumptions

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went to get a haircut. The hairdresser at the counter was kind of cute, so I had to say something non-standard. When she greeted me with her hello, I replied, "Guess what I need from you today?" She looked at me, considered, and replied, "An eyebrow wax?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 527

You deserved it 40 417

You got this

By IsThatMe? - 30/05/2026 00:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, due to family, job, health, and pregnancy issues, I didn't dance in the past decade, but recently started doing my favourite classical dance again. In this decade, I've more than tripled in weight and can't recognise myself in the mirror or in videos. I'm still in a healthy BMI but feel so fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 271

You deserved it 176

Tight family unit

By Empathylevel0 - 29/05/2026 03:00 - Denmark

Today, after months of couple's therapy for a lack of empathy, I'm up for an operation in the butt, so I asked if he could take two days off work in the days following. He said no and suggested the first week of July. The second week of July I'll be going with our three children to a family sports camp for a week. Alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 81

Out of control

By Anonymous - 28/05/2026 08:00 - United States

Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my boyfriend because he decided to run over my foot with his new fancy bike. I think my foot's broken. We can't afford the bike, much less the ER bill with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 71

Hot hot hot

By Anonymous - 28/05/2026 03:00 - United States - Center Line

Today, I walked to the grocery store despite being out of shape since it was typically only a 30 minute walk and gas prices are bad. The hourly temperature on my weather app was wrong as usual so by the time I got to the store, I was sweating buckets. By the time I got back home, I was so overheated I nearly threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 309

You deserved it 141

Chemical balls

By Mac (29m) - 27/05/2026 11:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I'm aging, so it’s clear my ball skin has got more rough, and I can't even shave anymore without bad razor burn. Well, I tried Nair for the first time. My balls are now severely chemically burned and blistered. It was just 4 minutes of Nair! I was finally getting my sex drive back after a divorce, so I was trying to be ready just in case. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 166

Body issues

By Anonymous - 27/05/2026 09:00 - South Africa - Brakpan

Today, while I'm in the depths of postpartum blues and insecurities, my grandmother in-law gifted me a size 22 pair of jeans that does not fit her. I'm a size 12. I started crying and fake choked so that nobody would notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 86

Make it stop

By MigrainesSuck - 26/05/2026 03:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, it's the third day of me having a migraine. I just want to kill myself. I've tried tablets, no screen for 20 hours, sleep, hydration, food and everything. If it were not for my loving husband and caring kids, I wouldn't hesitate to kill myself. This is a monthly routine now, one week out of order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 54

Thanks, I hate it!

By Anonymous - 25/05/2026 06:00 - United States - Center Line

Today, I got my mom (who is a diabetic) a set of sugar-free chocolates for Mother's Day. Everything was fine on that day, and my mom decided to share them since I bought a good sized box. I was perfectly fine, but my mom had explosive diarrhea for the rest of the day. I'll never buy THOSE again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 103

Hit the gym

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Cedar Rapids

Today, after months of my doctor telling me that my heart palpitations are simply due to anxiety, and that I'm perfectly healthy, I decided to weight train to face my fears. Two hours later, I was in the emergency room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 856

You deserved it 3 302

Back to the 9 to 5

By Anonymous - 22/05/2026 22:00 - New Zealand - Palmerston North

Today, I got the biopsy results from a weird mole I had removed. It's completely harmless, and I have nothing to worry about. My first reaction was disappointment, because I'll have to keep going to work instead of starting cancer treatment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 213

You deserved it 285

It's the Final Countdown

By Mightytall - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I had a very long wait at the doctor's. The three plastic plants in the waiting area have 163 leaves each, the patient information poster on the wall has 127 words, the longest word has 19 letters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 966

You deserved it 236

Hydrate

By Hannah - 21/05/2026 07:00 - United States

Today, after hard manual labor in the hot sun, I am extremely sore even at rest and my pee is the color of Coca Cola. I told my dad this and he told me to “buck the fuck up” and do more manual labor tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 321

You deserved it 142

Nice theory

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Portugal - Alhandra

Today, my boyfriend thinks he's discovered a big conspiracy by dentists to sell toothpaste. He's arguing that nobody needs to brush their teeth, ever, because all the "new plaque" from food will dissolve the "old plaque", and the only thing he needs to use is breath spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 877

You deserved it 2 464

Stay away from the litter

By Anonymous - 20/05/2026 23:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, it's been about year since I had worms. They're easy to treat but I told no one because I was so embarrassed. Was my house unclean? Was my food undercooked? Cue months of paranoia. Today my parents told me that their cat had worms last year. The same cat they asked me to cat-sit for two weeks. No one told me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 71

Crusty

By kayla - 20/05/2026 14:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I was told to “use Chapstick, for God’s sake” for the hundredth time in my life. I have tried Chapstick, Aquaphor, Burt's Bees, Vaseline, Shea butter, coconut oil, and Bag Balm. I drink 8 glasses of water a day. I’ve been to doctor after doctor, and nothing will fix my crusty, dry lips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 72

You OK, mate?

By Anonymous - 20/05/2026 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I have genuinely lost a day out of my week. It is currently Sunday, but yesterday I was at work on Friday, so where did my Saturday go? I genuinely have no memory of Saturday. I went to bed Friday and woke up Sunday, and now I’m scared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 72

Kinda gross

By Gross - 18/05/2026 20:00 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my dentist asked me if I floss regularly. Wanting to avoid judgment, I lied and said yes. He nodded, started cleaning my teeth, then pulled out an entire popcorn kernel that had apparently been living in my gums long enough to pay rent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40

You deserved it 434

Traumatic

By Give me freedom - 17/05/2026 16:00 - Canada - Montreal

Today, it's 2026, and my mom is still shit-scared of COVID and demands I wear a mask, slather on hand sanitizer, and just generally make an ass of myself everywhere I go. Being with her in public is so humiliating, she wears a face shield, two masks, and is equal parts Karen and Hitler. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 138

Enjoy yourself, it's later than you think

By Anonymous - 14/05/2026 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my moms are driving me mad. My biological mom, a therapist, keeps telling me I need to try new things because life is short. My non-biological mom, a doctor, keeps telling me everything new I want to try has health risks that will shorten my life even further. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 72

Fungus

By Yak - 12/05/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I walked in the bathroom and smelled a disgusting cheesy smell. I looked at the tub and my boyfriend was furiously scrubbing under his toenails with a nail brush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 78

Stinky boi

By anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I noticed a disgusting odor that seemed to be radiating off my brother. When I asked him about it, he replied, "I think it's ball sweat. I haven't had a shower in a few weeks, so it's hard to tell." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 691

You deserved it 4 202

Outside is bad

By Anonymous - 11/05/2026 20:00 - United States - Wheeling

Today, I went outside for the first time in a week and ended up tripping over something, busting my lip and nose, and breaking a tooth. I ran away in a dazed and confused panic while dropping all my stuff. Not going outside again for a while. FML

I agree, your life sucks 295

You deserved it 154

Fraudology

By Anonymous - 11/05/2026 09:00 - United States - Center Line

Today, even though I know better than to trust doctor Google on any kind of diagnosis, and with my chiropractor and doctor being completely clueless as to what my constant pain in my right buttock was, I found piriformus syndrome. A condition that perfectly mimics sciatica nerve pain. How did my chiropractor miss this? FML

I agree, your life sucks 262

You deserved it 128

Hang in there

By Leah Magers - 10/05/2026 20:00 - United States - Ames

Today, I continue to suffer from chronic vertigo, which affects my daily life, including but not limited to dizziness, not being able to drive some days, nausea and vomiting, not able to hold my children without falling, and this morning I fell to the floor temporarily blind because of it. Eighteen years of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 60

Unsteady

By Anonymous - 09/05/2026 22:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I took my first yoga class ever. Everything was going fine until it was time to stand up from the floor. My knees made a sound like snapping wood, my balance disappeared, and I nearly took out the lady next to me while trying to recover. She helped me up like I was part of her family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 71

Torn

By Anonymous - 08/05/2026 16:00 - United States - Gypsum

Today, I found out my husband texted his ex-wife, all the while I've had a torn rotator cuff for a year, which I will finally be getting surgery on in three weeks. He twisted his shoulder last week while installing a toilet and suddenly the world is ending, his pain is all encompassing. I also have Lupus since 2017. FML

I agree, your life sucks 300

You deserved it 107

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The Top

Today, I got lost in Darkfall Passage in Skyrim and got so frustrated I turned off the game and cried. Thank you pregnancy hormones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 846

You deserved it 2 120

Today, I had to explain to my Romanian colleague that, no, a cat flap is not a euphemism for a vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 080

You deserved it 1 984

Today, my roommates decided to hold an intervention. They told me I would have to break up with my boyfriend because they don't want people having sex in our apartment during college exams. My boyfriend agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 130

You deserved it 5 776

Today, my friends happily announced that although they had been cut, they were still going to be playing on the school's volleyball team. The rumor going around is that everyone who tried out made the team. I never got a call back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 515

You deserved it 2 928

Today, I snuck up behind my cousin and stole his drink. I took a sip, laughed and said, "haha, I got your drink!" He turned around with a giant, oozing cold sore on his lip and said, "haha, you got mouth herpes!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 365

You deserved it 7 104

Today, I was enjoying a rare lazy Sunday afternoon nap when I woke up to a loud thud. My cat, who had been silently plotting his next move, jumped on my chest and knocked over my glass of water. Now my entire bed is soaked, my phone is possibly ruined, and my cat is looking at me like I was the one who did something wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 159