Today, I am 3 months pregnant. While lying on the couch with morning sickness, my boyfriend farted loudly and filled the room with a smell so horrifying that I immediately threw up all over my coffee table. He spent the next 20 minutes texting his friends about this "epic" moment. FML I agree, your life sucks 45711 I agree, your life sucks 45711 You deserved it 7757 You deserved it 7757 218 32 8 51 203 By Anonymous - / Thursday 14 February 2019 16:35 / United States
Today, I went to the toilet to do a number 2. As I went to wipe, the toilet paper slipped out of my hand and I before my brain could register, I wiped my ass with my bare hand.. I also had curry the night before, so yeah. FML I agree, your life sucks 2091 I agree, your life sucks 2091 You deserved it 859 You deserved it 859 11 32 7 48 227 By jjoker - / Sunday 30 December 2019 14:00 / Australia - Melbourne
Today, while doing my disabled client's makeup I got my period. I'm hoping that she didn't notice a red stain on her white bedspread when I stood up. FML I agree, your life sucks 2150 I agree, your life sucks 2150 Phew, glad it wasn't me 520 Phew, glad it wasn't me 520 19 23 3 155 31 By "mindy12182" - / Saturday 29 December 2018 17:00 / United States - Des Moines
Today, I got food poisoning for the first time after cooking. Yesterday, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. FML I agree, your life sucks 2162 I agree, your life sucks 2162 Phew, glad it wasn't me 255 Phew, glad it wasn't me 255 12 22 5 66 89 By babybambi - / Saturday 29 December 2018 02:00 /
Today, I finally went to have blood taken for an allergy test I really need. Afterwards, I had an allergic reaction to the bandaid they used on my arm. FML I agree, your life sucks 2169 I agree, your life sucks 2169 You deserved it 133 You deserved it 133 11 28 4 105 68 By Why - / Tuesday 18 December 2018 05:00 /
Today, I was moving my sofa to make space for a Christmas tree and the sofa slipped on the wooden floor, thus flipping my right big toenail up 90° so it is now only connected at the cuticle. FML I agree, your life sucks 2463 I agree, your life sucks 2463 You deserved it 163 You deserved it 163 18 10 1 308 19 By "LondonTor" - / Saturday 15 December 2018 22:00 /
Today, I went to the company's health clinic to treat muscle spasms and a possible cracked rib. In the process the old quack doc and overly eager nurses wound up giving me a storng laxative and 3 enemas, two of them quite large. Then I still had to return to work. FML I agree, your life sucks 2276 I agree, your life sucks 2276 You deserved it 239 You deserved it 239 18 19 4 158 31 By Equi - / Wednesday 12 December 2018 16:00 / United States
Today, I woke up with a swollen face and have been diagnosed with mumps. Despite having been vaccinated against it. Twice. I have three assignments due next week and I can barely stay awake long enough to type this. FML I agree, your life sucks 2460 I agree, your life sucks 2460 You deserved it 150 You deserved it 150 12 12 4 164 19 By mrosewrosem - / Wednesday 12 December 2018 05:00 /
Today, I went to the hospital for taking to many anxiety meds cause of a panic attack over my finals. They decided the best way to fix this will be to involuntarily commit me to psychiatric treatment for 72 hours... missing all my finals. FML I agree, your life sucks 2461 I agree, your life sucks 2461 You deserved it 562 You deserved it 562 18 30 4 192 36 By talt - / Monday 10 December 2018 12:30 /
Today, when I went to my gp for an annual check up, I was complaining to the nurse about my chronically sore ankle. Turns out it has been fractured for 8 years. When I was 11 I was playing in my grans garden and went over on it. FML I agree, your life sucks 2429 I agree, your life sucks 2429 You deserved it 232 You deserved it 232 12 17 8 199 23 By - / Thursday 6 December 2018 21:00 / United Kingdom - Glasgow
Today, a police officer stopped me and told me he got an anonymous tip that I was going to kill myself. I wasnt. Protocol says he had to bring me straight to a hospital where I explained that someone was messing with me. nobody listened. Now I have a hospital bill for $2,250. FML I agree, your life sucks 3304 I agree, your life sucks 3304 You deserved it 140 You deserved it 140 43 30 5 280 25 By Anonymous - / Wednesday 5 December 2018 08:00 / United States - Wauseon
Today, I met one of my favorite fitness models. She told me I need to get in shape. I weigh 150lbs. FML I agree, your life sucks 2217 I agree, your life sucks 2217 You deserved it 373 You deserved it 373 26 36 7 66 103 By Mayo - / Tuesday 4 December 2018 13:30 /
Today, my son begged me to take him to the doctor for the weeping bloody rash on his penis so I had to take an unpaid day off for his appointment. The doctor laughed us out the door after it turned out to be a good old-fashioned friction burn. FML I agree, your life sucks 2872 I agree, your life sucks 2872 You deserved it 460 You deserved it 460 35 37 6 25 381 By Anonymous - / Monday 3 December 2018 14:00 /
Today, the family dog was in the garbage and wouldn't stop eating. He is a large dog, and I had to put my arms around him and pull him out of the trash can. Well, he bit me so hard I was bleeding. My whole family is siding with the dog and saying it was my fault for not letting him eat. FML I agree, your life sucks 2610 I agree, your life sucks 2610 You deserved it 302 You deserved it 302 26 69 5 153 38 By Dead Inside - / Monday 3 December 2018 07:30 / United States - Elkhart
Today, thanks to pregnancy hormones, I had the most vivid dream of eating a caramel apple mousse cake with vanilla bean ice cream. Unfortunately, yesterday, also thanks to pregnancy hormones, I was diagnosed with diabetes. My dreams are taunting me. FML I agree, your life sucks 2579 I agree, your life sucks 2579 You deserved it 200 You deserved it 200 9 21 9 83 133 By GiveMeCake - / Sunday 2 December 2018 22:00 /
Today, I took my first holiday from work in over 6 months as it was my birthday. Today was also the day I woke up and vomited violently for 10 straight hours as a result of food poisoning. FML I agree, your life sucks 2705 I agree, your life sucks 2705 You deserved it 140 You deserved it 140 10 14 5 182 18 By sickday - / Sunday 2 December 2018 17:30 /
Today, I had a morning shift at the restaurant and didn't feel like wearing makeup. I was energetic and greeted everyone happily, but my manager told me I looked tired. I said, "Oh no I'm just not wearing makeup!" He said, "Well, you might need it." FML I agree, your life sucks 2551 I agree, your life sucks 2551 You deserved it 291 You deserved it 291 12 32 5 168 71 By definitelynotugly - / Sunday 2 December 2018 12:00 /
Today, it's been 3 days since my husband decided he really wanted to try the surstromming challenge. I can still smell that shit all through my house even with all the doors and windows open after the stupid bastard took one smell, vomited, and dropped the can on the carpet. FML I agree, your life sucks 2272 I agree, your life sucks 2272 You deserved it 250 You deserved it 250 15 21 3 63 148 By meg the mighty - / Saturday 1 December 2018 15:30 /
Today, in addition to having to deal with chronic pain that keeps me from driving for more than 10 minutes, I now have to deal with my brother who thinks I'm not paying him enough for taking me to school 2 days a week, when he does the journeys for himself anyway. FML I agree, your life sucks 2251 I agree, your life sucks 2251 You deserved it 156 You deserved it 156 7 39 7 114 14 By Anonymous - / Saturday 1 December 2018 13:30 /
World United Kingdom Today, I was trying on wedding dresses and didn't realise I had started my period. I managed to ruin 6 dresses before I noticed. The company wants me to pay for them. I can't afford it. FML I agree, your life sucks 2776 I agree, your life sucks 2776 You deserved it 1182 You deserved it 1182 41 26 2 314 45 By Anonymous - / Saturday 1 December 2018 11:00 / United Kingdom - Maidenhead
Today, my parents brought me to the doctor because I was faking a headache. One thing led to another, and it turns out I have a tumor pressing against my spine. FML I agree, your life sucks 3602 I agree, your life sucks 3602 You deserved it 310 You deserved it 310 29 29 1 421 25 By Hoover - / Saturday 1 December 2018 03:00 /
Today, a week after my son was born via C-section, I received 3 messages from 3 different women saying that they had recently slept with my fiancé. One of them said they tested positive for herpes. FML I agree, your life sucks 3418 I agree, your life sucks 3418 You deserved it 205 You deserved it 205 35 18 3 341 26 By Anonymous - / Friday 30 November 2018 15:30 /
Today, it's my wife's birthday. Since I had work, I gave her $200 to spend on herself and left. When I came back with dinner and the movie she wanted, I found her with a dog. She is very attached to him because the shelter was going to put him down. I love him, but I'm allergic to dogs. FML I agree, your life sucks 2746 I agree, your life sucks 2746 You deserved it 368 You deserved it 368 23 32 7 184 53 By *sneeze* - / Thursday 29 November 2018 12:00 /
World Canada Today, it only took 25 minutes of working before I was covered in old man pee. I think that's a new personal best. FML I agree, your life sucks 2126 I agree, your life sucks 2126 You deserved it 144 You deserved it 144 14 24 3 55 93 By weezie757 - / Wednesday 28 November 2018 11:30 / Canada
Today, I was in band rehearsing for a big concert coming up. Since the band was practicing with the orchestra and there weren’t enough seats, we had to stand. My back was facing everyone when my friend tapped me on the shoulder and pointed to my ass. I got my period and everyone saw the stain. FML I agree, your life sucks 2718 I agree, your life sucks 2718 You deserved it 177 You deserved it 177 6 17 4 228 28 By DesperateBich - / Wednesday 28 November 2018 14:00 /
Today, like every day she works, my roommate once again put on a ton on perfume before work because she doesn't shower. She's gone, but this smell will be here for hours. FML I agree, your life sucks 2379 I agree, your life sucks 2379 You deserved it 156 You deserved it 156 23 38 1 139 36 By RinoaHeartilly - / Wednesday 28 November 2018 03:00 /
Today, I was tripped downstairs as a "joke" by my little brother. When I was yelling in pain from my broken arm, my mom was lecturing me to be thankful "one goddamn day a year". She also thinks I'm lying just to hide that I'm clumsy and my brother is innocent. He won't admit it. Happy Thanksgiving. FML I agree, your life sucks 2903 I agree, your life sucks 2903 You deserved it 134 You deserved it 134 17 30 4 208 30 By thankful - / Tuesday 27 November 2018 22:00 /
Today, I found out that eating too much cheese really can cause nightmares. I had a cheese sandwich before bed and woke up later to the nightmarish sight of my mother-in-law standing over me with a suitcase. She had a big argument with her husband and wants to stay with us for a few weeks. FML I agree, your life sucks 2536 I agree, your life sucks 2536 You deserved it 204 You deserved it 204 10 13 7 32 282 By the boogieman mom - / Tuesday 27 November 2018 14:00 /
Today, my self-described "genius" cousin came to the conclusion that cooking the turkey in the oven for 8 hours would take too long, so he doubled the temperature to have it done in half the time. The fire department had to come to put out the fireball that was once my butterball. FML I agree, your life sucks 2744 I agree, your life sucks 2744 You deserved it 204 You deserved it 204 21 18 6 66 201 By Anonymous - / Monday 26 November 2018 16:00 / United States - Floral Park
Today, I'm stuck at home waiting on a plumber to come fix the flooding in my basement. The flooding happens when any sink, shower, or toilet in the house is used. Today is also the day that I started my period. Without water. FML I agree, your life sucks 2512 I agree, your life sucks 2512 You deserved it 131 You deserved it 131 8 21 1 162 22 By st3phani3b - / Monday 26 November 2018 09:30 / United States - Fort Wayne
Today I was on a date with a beautiful girl and had just finished a $300 dinner when my father called claiming my dog died, of course I left my date and... I agree, your life sucks 1434 I agree, your life sucks 1434 You deserved it 143 You deserved it 143 11
Today I was chatting with the morbidly obese cleaner. After asking her if she had any time off over the holidays, she answered that she hadn't, but she... I agree, your life sucks 802 I agree, your life sucks 802 You deserved it 341 You deserved it 341 7
Canada Today, my girlfriend kept texting me while I was at work, insisting for hours that I leave early because she was so horny. After arguing with my boss and...
Australia Today, I asked the guy of my dreams out to the cinema. After saying to me "It's a date!" I started booking tickets. He said, "Why are you booking two?"...
Today, I got on the bus and the driver said I didn't have to pay since the ticket machine was broken. I was happy to have saved £2.40 until i realised...
Today, my infant son refused to let me put him down for two minutes while I ate breakfast this morning. I was in a hurry to get to an event as it was,...
Today, at work, I received flowers from a Tinder fling gone wrong. He constantly flipped out on me and then would apologize. I finally got tired of it...
Today, I slashed my ass open with a shard of glass. How? I was making out with my crush, and threw my glasses on the ground. I forgot about them when we... I agree, your life sucks 15054 I agree, your life sucks 15054 You deserved it 35862 You deserved it 35862 201
Today, my husband left his cellphone unlocked so I decided to go through it. I found 10 texts threads from 10 different women, one of them from my 18 year... I agree, your life sucks 4661 I agree, your life sucks 4661 Phew, glad it wasn't me 786 Phew, glad it wasn't me 786 49