Health

Fine, I'll wait

By anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was in agonizing pain and couldn't move. My parents said they couldn't take me to the ER until the football game on TV was over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 116

You deserved it 3 361

Too far gone

By Blie - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I was so drunk that I pissed myself in a hotel hallway while wearing a dress. My shoes squished all the way back to the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 114

You deserved it 4 596

Decisions, decisions

By Anonymous - 15/09/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, despite knowing that I should never trust "Doctor Google" I was doing some research into what I could do about my spinal stenosis and the labral tear. I'm now seriously confused because working on my hip could hurt my back, but focusing just on my back might cause my right side to deteriorate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 128

Unmatch

By themarrowguy - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, after recently discovering that I need a bone marrow transplant, my girlfriend got tested to see if she could be a donor. When the results came back with a negative match, she blurted out, "Oh thank god." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 405

You deserved it 4 409

Overheating

By Anonymous - 15/09/2026 00:00 - Nepal - Kathmandu

Today, I always say my body is my worst enemy because not only do I have irregular periods with heavy flow and bad cramps, I also get it when I currently have a fever, the highest temperature being 102.8 (checked under arms). FML

I agree, your life sucks 257

You deserved it 53

Push past the pain

By dying - 14/09/2026 20:00 - United States - New York

Today, I learned that when you quit smoking, you get "Smoker Flu", meaning you feel like you're coming down with something really horrible. The good news is that my throat is so raw, I couldn't smoke a cigarette if I wanted to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 218

You deserved it 76

Reflex

By OuchImAMoron - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Old Bridge

Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 566

You deserved it 47 076

Cursed

By Anonymous - 12/09/2026 03:00 - United States - Ontario

Today, I got hit with the “Beginning of the Year Curse” and by that I mean my kids went back to school and brought the flu home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 71

Shouldn't you be at the ER?

By Anonymous - 08/09/2026 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I finally gave in and agreed to try holding my girlfriend's pet tarantula. The moment I did, it bit me. According to her she’s had him 4 years and he’s never so much as nipped her, never mind a full bite. Lucky me. My hand is twice the normal size and I can feel my heartbeat in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 69

Oh no!

By Lily - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - San Antonio

Today, I fell going down the stairs and hit my head on the wall. My parents came frantically running to my side, but only to make sure I hadn't damaged the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 183

You deserved it 2 314

Don't overthink it

By Anonymous - 07/09/2026 00:00 - United States - Warren

Today, I suddenly gained a massive burst of anxiety out of nowhere when thinking about my upcoming assessment appointments for my back and hip surgeries. I need these so I don't end up permanently crippled due to spinal stenosis and a labral tear. The worst part is that I know I'm fretting over nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 257

You deserved it 81

I'm really tired, chief

By sleepy and ill - 06/09/2026 03:00 - United States - Anchorage

Today, my dad now insists I HAVE to be up at 7 am every day. I explained that even after waking up at 7 am for months, my body still couldn’t fall asleep earlier and I stayed chronically sleep deprived. He thinks I’m lying because, “No one’s body works like that.” I’m 30 and can’t move out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 308

You deserved it 133

Oddly specific insomnia

By Anonymous - 05/09/2026 00:00 - United States - Detroit

Today, the power went out. Thankfully, it was early in the morning so I should've been able to sleep through it. Then I realized I have an impossible time sleeping during power outages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 212

You deserved it 90

Acting out

By itsgotime - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was running to my car, slipped, and slammed my head on the car door. I started driving to the hospital because it was bleeding profusely and I was dizzy, I called my mom to tell her what had happened. She said I was grounded for "goofing off" and that she was "sick of my shit". FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 689

You deserved it 7 981

Cheer up!

By wintersoldier - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Austria

Today, while trying to comfort my little brother who just injured his leg, I tripped and sprained my ankle. At least he was amused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 298

You deserved it 2 439

Heavy machinery

By Anonymous - 01/09/2026 20:00 - United States - Swedesboro

Today, I picked up a 7lb stick vacuum like I do regularly, except this time it caused a disc in my spine to slip and pinch a nerve and now I can't walk right or sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 68

Peace and quiet

By Julie - 31/08/2026 12:00 - Germany - Buchholz in der Nordheide

Today, it's the second night in a row when I thought, "I really need to catch up on my sleep deficit!" and instead had an even shittier night than the one before. My neighbours just started a party right under my window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 316

You deserved it 63

They tried to make me go to rehab

By Anonymous - 31/08/2026 00:00 - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, my family finally managed to convince my useless junkie brother to go to rehab. Unfortunately, the stress of dealing with his bullshit has caused my mother, who's been sober 20 years, to relapse. Now we're starting the process all over again with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 64

Release those endorphins!

By hbt51 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Blue Ridge

Today, while out jogging, I was suddenly hit with unbelievable gastric distress. I wasn't wearing brown pants when I set out on that jog, but I sure was when I made it back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 346

You deserved it 2 010

Not again!

By Anonymous - 29/08/2026 22:00 - United States - Hampton

Today, I went to see a podiatrist, two weeks after having major surgery on my abdomen, only to be told I might need surgery on my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 302

You deserved it 42

Crashing down

By Anonymous - 29/08/2026 15:00 - Croatia - Zagreb

Today, during gymnastics tryouts, I tried one last move to impress the judge, jumped up but landed crotch first on the beam. I fell off, curled up in pain while everyone just stayed frozen, still waiting on the judge's pick. She barely glanced at me then picked the girl next to me, who ran off happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 257

You deserved it 175

Not going well, how about you?

By Anonymous - 27/08/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, on top of learning that I have three discs pressing on my spinal column and a labral tear, I also found out my left testicle dropped, but not my right one. I'm nearly 40 and I need to see a urologist over this. After the surgeries to fix my spine and hip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 308

You deserved it 73

Dangling

By Anonymous - 27/08/2026 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, while making out, my clean-shaven husband pulled away because he could feel my lip hairs tickling him. I thought he was making a joke so I called him a tosser and walked away. Later I checked in the mirror and there they were, two black hairs swinging in the breeze right under my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 287

I'm a huge fan

By Username - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out how painful it is when your ceiling fan falls on you. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 741

You deserved it 3 288

Too relaxed

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Scarsdale

Today, knowing that I have been in a lot of stress lately, my friend tried to teach me how to meditate. Eventually, I ended up in a deeply relaxed state in which my mind was completely clear. When I snapped out of it, I realized I'd pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 103

You deserved it 3 696

New experience

By ray - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I learned how hard it is to remove peanut butter from your own eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 153

You deserved it 24 383

Recovery

By Anonymous - 20/08/2026 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I am recovering from surgery, so even though my mom could burn cold water, I was forced to let her cook for me. Thanks to her cooking, I’ve now shit my body weight in brown water, and I need her help to get on the toilet. She doesn’t always get me there in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 64

Chill out, lady

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Belgium - Gent

Today, I was verbally and physically attacked in a public pool, because I was swimming in what a grandma claimed was her part of the pool. Since I'm a very tolerant person, I calmly tried to talk some reason into the elderly lady. The lifeguard had to come to protect me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 158

You deserved it 1 822

Bad news

By Its over - 20/08/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, I called my ex and told him I was pregnant with his child. He was thrilled, going on and on about how much he wanted to be a dad. I had to tell him I was going to abort it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 172

You deserved it 604

Words of encouragement

By rolypoly - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I achieved a personal goal by completing a half-marathon for charity, despite being overweight and unfit before training. When I finished I cried, not because I was proud of myself, but because I ran the last two miles while being followed by kids on bicycles calling me a "fat cunt". FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 988

You deserved it 5 712

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend. We'd just got our food when my dad walks in, comes up to our table and says, "I didn't say you could leave, you're too young to be dating him", then drags me out of the restaurant. We are both 15, and it was my first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 886

You deserved it 14 220

Today, I found out my mom has been randomly searching my room. I've asked her repeatedly to stop, but she says it's her right as a parent. In retaliation I started searching their room when they were out, and found porn mags and DVDs. I confronted mom about it. Long story short, dad's in a hotel. What have I done?! FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 767

Random

Today, my parents have deliberately ruined my last 2 relationships, because they want me to get back together with my ex simply because he is my son's dad. Apparently, my son needs his father more than I need a man who won't beat me every time he gets drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 742

You deserved it 2 076

Today, it's my birthday. I was excited because of all the wall posts I got on Facebook. Then I saw I got a "Happy Birthday" from the girl my boyfriend cheated on me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 985

You deserved it 7 507

Today, my boyfriend and I had great sex and afterward decided to take a shower together. He left the room to get some towels, so I went to the bathroom and wait. I walked out of his room wearing nothing but a thong and ran into his mom who had come home from work early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 024

You deserved it 33 531

Today, I went on a trip with some people from work to watch a baseball game. Halfway through the game, one of my managers shook my hand and said "Nice to Meet You." I've been working there for 3 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 271

You deserved it 4 538

Today, I texted sweet nothings to a phone number written on the side of my tumble dryer, thinking my crush had left it there, all cute like. Turns out the phone number belongs to my landlord’s maintenance guy, who was not at all flattered by my midnight serenade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 1 531

Today, my boyfriend turned down sex because he was watching TV and wanted to know how it ended. The show was probably ten years-old and on Netflix. He could watch it anytime he wanted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 244